


You Can Be Good

by awrites (awritesrated), awritesrated



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Non-Sexual Submission, Spanking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-24 11:36:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 62,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20357827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awritesrated/pseuds/awrites, https://archiveofourown.org/users/awritesrated/pseuds/awritesrated
Summary: What if Lucifer gives up? He stopped fighting and decided to stop resisting the taking of his free will. Only, with a last bout of rebellion, he chose who to give his free will to.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This is my first fanfiction ever! I really hope this works out! But I'm enjoying writing this!

Chapter 1

Chloe stared at Lucifer for moments that seemed like hours, as the realisation sinks in. The conversation they had the last minute giving her more insight than she ever wished.

_“But why?” He sounded so baffled, that he really couldn’t understand something, but he can’t be asking what I think he’s asking right? I mean, the answer is simple, and common, and everyone should know it!_

_“Why what?”_

_“Why,” he answered, annoyance coloring his words effectively, “does Ella hug people so often? And your spawn! It’s frustrating and annoying and always catches me off-guard.” _

_He paused, seemingly trying to gather himself, he took a breath, then continued softly: “It is _ ** _so weird_ ** _!”_

How could anyone think a hug is weird. Some people don’t like hugs, some people hate them, but not knowing their purpose, not knowing their meaning? _Questioning _the reason for hugs? Lucifer has always dodged around the answer when I asked about his family, speaking in impossible and frustrating metaphors, but there are issues in his family, and I’ve always known that. But what kind of family would it have to be, to render someone this disoriented with a _hug_?

“Detective?” He softly jostled my shoulder, staring at me with those ridiculously expressive brown eyes of his. He _really_ _is_ waiting for my answer…not a rhetorical, not sarcasm. 

I snapped out of it, forced a smile and answered: “We just like to do it, is all. Don’t you like it? Despite all the weirdness and everything?” 

Lucifer stared at me intently, his forehead wrinkled as he frowned, and instead of telling me his answer, he _apologised._

“I’m sorry, detective, if I’ve upset you. Again.” He looked down at the floor between us, like an errant school-boy waiting for a scolding. And _what the hell is up with that?_

Ever since that day when I woke up to him sitting by my hospital bed, recovering from a poison I still had no idea how he found the formula of the antidote for, he has been acting _so strange!_ He does everything, and I mean _everything_ I tell him to. I don’t understand it! It’s like he suddenly became my sidekick…instead of my partner. Oh he still comes up with innuendos and flirts with everyone, but one look and he behaves, backs down, and starts to look _contrite. _That is one word I never thought I would use on Lucifer, but here we are. 

“I’m not … it’s not your fault, okay?” I needed to help him, but how? This seemed so much deeper than I originally thought. The scars, the way he talked about his family, albeit it was marginal, but still! It was enough to know he wasn’t ever treated fairly. But, if I’m right, if I’m reading all the signals and red flags and my gut right, then this is serious. 

Decision made, I grabbed his left hand and marched right out the forensic lab and right to my car, Lucifer following me in a docile manner. 

“Detective? What’s wrong? Where are we going?” He sounded nervous…God he sounded _so nervous!_ What did he think I would do? Kidnap him? And didn’t he push a man out a glass window with one hand before? If he thinks he’s in danger, why doesn’t he fight back? But no, I know he will never hurt me, or Trixie, or even Dan. He’s good like that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try and upload a chapter once a week, and if I get busy, I'll be sure to inform you all with a foreseeable date! Thank you for your support!

I pushed him slightly more roughly then I intended into the passenger seat, and quickly got into the driver’s seat and started driving. I wasn’t sure who to go to for these types of things, but I know I’m sure as hell not equipped to handle this, and Lucifer has told me countless times that Linda has helped him multiple times. She’ll know what to do… at least… I hope so. 

He was very quiet during the drive, but I could feel the tension in the atmosphere. For once, it’s not like the tension when the whole room wants to eviscerate me for thinking one of them was corrupted. It just feels… _tense_. I stopped at a red light, and turned to look at him, and saw him stiffen. His fingers were picking at the hems of his suit, a nervous tick he seems to have whenever he’s unsure and insecure. After the couple years I’ve spent with him, I’ve picked up on quite a bit of his little quirks. 

_Why_ is he nervous though? I continued trying to puzzle him out before he started to bite his bottom lips and peeked at me through his bowed head. His eyes slid away from eye contact almost instantly. This behaviour, it is so familiar that something so bewilderingly tender rose up in my chest. He’s behaving like Trixie when she did something so terrible she knows she can’t get out of it, so she doesn’t even try. She would just wait till I get on with disciplining her. But what is _this_ Lucifer’s showing me. Surely he didn’t do something he thinks I would be angry for? In fact, he is behaving so well - _too well _\- for me to even consider the possibility. It’s like he is afraid of me getting angry.

Car horns from behind shook me out of my thoughts, and I continued on my way to Linda’s office. When we got there, in the 2 minutes it took me to exit my car and turn toward him, Lucifer was already standing next to his side of the car, scuffing his toes at the gravel, and waiting. This errant child act is throwing me off, and don’t even get me started on the way he _peers at me with begging eyes_. What is _up_ with that?

I stared at him for a few moments before I start walking towards the office. As always, he followed me without question, I didn’t even need to say anything. I knocked on Linda’s door, and entered when I heard a muffled answer. Linda lifted her head from her packed lunch at her desk before leaning back with an easy smile when she saw it was us. 

“Hey! Were you guys nearby for a case?” I smiled at her and told her no, we were here to see her. I turned and told Lucifer to wait outside, and he gave me _the pleading look_ again, before obeying. I can feel Linda’s shock at our brief interaction, and I don’t blame her. I think I’ve been in shock for weeks now too.

“What was that?” Linda sounded as shocked as I felt. I really needed her help. I turned from staring at the door where Lucifer exited to face her, took a deep breath and started to talk. This is going to take some time…

“I’m sorry for interrupting your lunch Linda. But I really, _really_ need your expertise here.” My eyes had to be conveying the same amount to helplessness I’m feeling, because Linda immediately stood up and walked around her desk to sit at the armchair, inviting me to sit on the couch.

“Tell me what happened?” Her voice is so soothing, so comforting, and I’m struck once again how grateful I am to have a doctor amongst our group of misfits. I started to recount this whole bizarre situation.

“We solved a case today,” Linda nodded encouragingly, “it was about a victim who’s clues to her murderer led us to a roomful of captured young girls stuck in his basement.” 

I took a deep breath, and continued, “We called the girls’ family, and they came to get the kids. Now the first thing they did was to hug them right?” Linda, bless her, only nodded, and never interrupted while I ploughed my way through scrambling to order my thoughts well enough to explain this to her.

“Lucifer... he asked me... why they hugged.” I can see her shock ripple through her. But she remained silent, somehow knowing I wasn’t done. “Not only that, he looked like he honestly had no idea what it means to hug! Like he had never experienced one!” 

Linda only gazed at me with such sadness in her eyes, that I realised something. “Did he ever tell you? About his family, about… his life before… he came here?” 

“I’m sorry Chloe, it’s under doctor-patient confidentiality. But, if it’s any consolation to you, you might want to know that I feel absolutely justified in wanting to punch the living daylights out of his family. Well… those tangible ones anyway.” The last part she muttered to herself, but I heard her anyway. 

“That’s not all, Linda.” She looked back up at me and I continued.

“Do you remember that day when I was poisoned?” She nodded, “when I recovered and woke up, he was right there sitting by my side, and I was so relieved to see him. Before the poisoning… we, er, we had a… _moment_. But since I woke up, he hadn’t acted normally at all! He’s behaving very, _and I mean very_, for lack of a better word, _obedient._ Linda, he flirts with people. It’s his thing, his way of interacting, his version of having fun, and I really understand that. So I don’t usually get in his way, unless he’s being really inappropriate. But I look at him, or… or I show even a little bit of disapproval, and he tones it down immediately! Just like this!” I snapped my fingers as I said that part, and I just kept going, not being able to stop anymore, everything pouring out of me so easily.

“I act a little upset, and he is instantly acting like a… a…well a kicked puppy. Like seriously, today, I got upset because he was asking about hugs, because whatever that implied, it couldn’t be anything good. But the moment he realises I’m upset, he stops asking, his curiosity unanswered. Have you _ever_ known him to put his curiosity aside? But he’s been acting like he expects me to slap him and scold him ever since! I mean, did you see him just now? He went out, just like that. I only had to ask him once. He didn’t even try to protest. And I’m certain he didn’t want to leave me alone in here talking to you about him, I mean, did you see the look he shot me? And _that_! That _look_! He has been giving me this pleading look every single time he thinks I am upset with him! I mean, did I do something? Was it something I said that scared him and somehow made him this… this _terrified_ of my ire?”

I took a deep breath, and buried my face in my hands. It’s me, it has to be me, he’s only behaving like this around me. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Detective Decker and Linda finds out more about Lucifer's childhood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not a kinky fiction! It does involve abuse and disturbing treatment in a family. But Chloe Decker is a good person and the best girlfriend EVER. Thank you for your support! 
> 
> *Please also understand I'm changing elements of the original storyline to fit mine.

The detective has been inside for a long time. It makes me anxious, knowing they’re talking about me, about… my behaviour? I’m not sure what I did wrong today, but the detective is incredibly annoyed at me. I didn’t dare look her straight in the eyes during the drive here. 

Ever since I found out she was a miracle, someone Dad put here in my path, I have been furious at his manipulation. But after the little episode with the Detective’s poisoning, I’ve had an… epiphany of a sort. The simple fact is, I cannot live with myself if anything happened to her. And if… if I cannot bear to leave her, then I’ll have to remain involved in whatever plans Dad’s made. 

So take my free will, if you want, Dad! But if I’m going to give it up, then it’s going to be to the Detective, not to you, Dad, never to you. If she really is your pawn, then I surrender. If she’s not, then all the better. But Chloe is all that is _good_ and _pure _and if anyone should take me in hand, then it should be her. 

So I’ll stay, and behave however she wants me to, and I’ll take whatever she gives me. If she actually decides to punish me for anything at all, I’m sure it will be more bearable then falling thousands and thousands of miles into hell and spending a millennium torturing and being tortured. 

I looked at the closed door, tempted to just open a tiny crack and listen in on their conversation, but I’m already on rocky ground as it is. I don’t want to make the Detective any angrier than she already is. So I leaned against the wall and waited. 

But I didn’t have to wait that long. Thinking about my own current predicament made the time move that much faster and before I know it, Linda is already calling me in. I flashed her my charming smile and greeted her, but caught sight of the Detective on the couch, and immediately stopped it. Right, she doesn’t like me doing that. How many times does she need to say it before you remember you idiot? I stared at the ground, just hoping we could get to what we were here for. Whatever the Detective is upset over, I’ll have to try my best to appease her. 

The silence stretched, until the Detective cleared her throat.

She patted the space beside her, “Come here and sit down.” And I did as I was told. No matter what I tell myself about handing my free will to her, she has never made me do anything I dislike. That only made me feel content and safe, and if it’s like that, then I sincerely feel it’s okay to do this for the rest of my existence. Even if she might smite me when I get too out of hand, but I’m sure I’ll be as good as I can be, I certainly can behave as she wants me too. I mean, before I fell, I did obey Dad like a good son, and I was doing things I hated with a passion. It won’t be like that with the Detective, so I’ll be fine! I hope…

I sat down and waited for them to tell me what was going on, but the room went silent again. Somehow, that only made me more nervous. What is it that even Linda is thinking twice about telling me? She usually has no such qualms. 

“So… are we just sitting here like statues then?” I ventured an opening. I figured I should do it if they weren’t going to. 

Linda started, too deep in her thoughts I suppose, “Lucifer,” she looked at me carefully, her eyes unusually bright. I fidgeted restlessly. “Can you tell me any good memories you have with your family?” 

Good memories? Why? I dared to turn to the Detective for answers, but she only stared right back at me with equally bright eyes expecting my answer. Right, no help there then. So… good memories… I flashed through my memories, trying to come up with something they would approve of as positive.

“Well, there was this one time, I pranked Amenadiel by sticking beads of coloured light on his wings and face and making him look like an angel clown while he was sleeping. He chased me down when we woke up and I ran, but my younger brothers were all helping him catch me, then he proceeded to put me in my place by burning my hand with his angel fire to remind me not to use my hands for something like that again. But it was funny and definitely worth the laugh!” 

That was the first and last time I pranked Amenadiel. I didn’t want to have my hands held in fire for such a long time ever again. I mean, it was no hell fire, but I wasn’t the King of Hell yet and it had hurt a lot. 

I looked at Linda and the Detective, and they looked positively _horrified._ What did I say? What’s wrong now? I thought back to what I said and realised I just admitted to being mean to my brother. Of course they’re going to disapprove. I’m lucky they haven’t started slapping me in the face yet. They must be so angry now. I peeked at the Detective, and she had her hand covering her mouth, shock and disbelief in her eyes. I didn’t dare say another word, lest I anger her again. It’s bad enough I made her angry at the precinct. Now I’ve made her even madder at me. I don’t want to make it worse for myself. 

I tried to convey with my eyes that I’m sorry, and I won’t do it again. Of course I won’t do it again. Nobody likes pranks. I’ll have to be careful with surprises too. Is she… she won’t punish me for past faults right? But what’s to stop her making her punishments that much harsher for my bad behaviour earlier today just to combine the punishments for my past and today’s behaviour?

I looked down on the ground again, better to look chastised than to seem unconcerned about what I’ve done wrong. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer is so soft around Chloe Decker!

What is Lucifer thinking? That’s the million-dollar question ever since I met him, but now more than ever. He just described an event of his childhood where his own _brothers_ burnt his hand over fire - if _angel fire_ is his metaphor for _actual fire_ \- and he starts looking _guilty_? 

I need to get out now! I just can’t… I can’t process this. _Burning his hands_…shit! Fuck! This is not happening. This is not just abuse, this is cruel torture! His own family doing this to him? Where are his parents?! If I interpret everything he has ever said right, his childhood has to be the worst there can ever be. I mean, I’ve seen lots of abuse cases in my career, but _this_? 

Never-mind he had to search his mind for _minutes_ for good memories, his idea of a good memory is one where his hands were _burnt_? Rage and sorrow warred inside me, I feel like I need to find Amenadiel - _don’t ever let me see him again, so help me God - _and bash his head into the ground!

He looks at the ground as if _he_ is the one doing something wrong, but what do I do? What _should_ I do? I looked at Linda, panic rising up and interfering with my breathing. She looked as composed as ever, but I could see in her eyes that she felt as horrified as me.

“Lucifer, do your brothers do that often?”

Lucifer lifts his head and looked at her, turned a little and peeked at me at the side, his fingers fiddling with the hem of his shirt again as he answered.

“Yes, yes I suppose they do. They punish me for any perceived wrongdoing on my part.” Then he turned and looked me in the eyes, and whatever he sees must have scared him, because for whatever reason, he spoke a soft “I’m sorry.”

“Lucifer, I was asking if they ganged up on you like that often. Not if they punished you often. But that leads me to my next question, do you get pranked?” He seemed a little startled as Linda asked him that, obviously not expecting theline of questioning Linda is going with, I reckon. But he answered anyway. He answers every question I expect him to these days.

“Well, they usually punish me together, they said that it was to make me learn, but who cares what they wanted me to learn anyway?” As soon as he said that, he stiffened and glanced at me briefly, before continuing haltingly. “Not… not that I didn’t obey, I just didn’t think it was helpful to learn what they’re trying to teach me… But! But I know my behaviour is infuriating to them, so I understand if they want to make me learn to behave.” At this point he is _openly_ pleading with me. He looked at me with anxiety, and I didn’t know how to respond. 

Linda prompted him to answer her question, and he looked back at the ground while he did, obviously dejected that I didn’t give him any approval.

“Of course they pranked me. Once, Amenadiel chained all my limbs together, even my wings, and left me in an empty room, with no means to escape. He left me there for a dozen sunrises before I managed to get out. It was a good laugh of course.”

“And did your younger brothers help you chase Amenadiel down?” Lucifer looked scandalous at the idea.

“Of course not! They wouldn’t help a me harm a brother! That wouldn’t be right! Besides, I didn’t need their help!” He sniffed in childish arrogance.

But I couldn’t stand it anymore, I cannot keep it in. My tears just spilled over like beads on a broken thread. Lucifer looked panicked at my display, and he started to ramble like he always do when he needed to distract me, but this time, what he’s saying only made it worse.

“I didn’t harm him! I just, I just maybe screamed at him a little, but they punished me after I did it! Please don’t cry…” There it was, the _bloody_ pleading look. I snapped at him through my outburst to not look at me, I didn’t want to keep being reminded of how afraid he is of me, but it backfired entirely.

He snapped his head back to the front and looked at the ground, and I saw his fists clenching around the small part of his shirt he was holding on since the start of this conversation, and I realised just how afraid of me he is. He face is starting to become paler and paler, and he was downright trembling. 

Now he not only is afraid of me, he was _terrified_. What did he think I was going to do to him? Which part of anything he said ever since we walked into this room could he think I would be angry with him for?

_What is he thinking?_

I reached out for his hand, as gently as I could. He started when I made contact, and I asked him what was wrong.

He continued to tremble, although he did answer, as he always did recently, with the softest and smallest voice, as if he might be punished for speaking too loudly. Though with the family he grew up in, is it even a surprise anymore? For all I know, he might have been punished for breathing too loud. 

“I’m sorry Detective. I didn’t mean to make you angry. Don’t be angry, I won’t… I won’t do it again. I promise.” His voice broke at that last word, and I have to admit, this must be the most surreal situation ever. 

“Chloe, maybe you should step outside. I’ll talk to him, okay?” Linda took my hand and pulled slightly, and I obliged, going outside to take a minute before coming back to this madness.


	5. Chapter 5

Linda led the Detective out, but I still couldn’t think about anything else but her eyes. There was rage, and anger, I’m sure of that. I didn’t mean to make her _that_ angry, but I suppose that was too much to ask. I did do a number of unforgivable things in the past after all.

“Lucifer?” I looked up at Linda, and she smiled a brittle smile. She’s acting weird today…

“Are you okay, Linda?” My probable punishment coming up aside, Linda is obviously hurting and I couldn’t bear that for one of my closest friends. Is this also my fault. Have I finally scared her away?

“I’m fine, Lucifer. I just wanted to ask a few questions without Chloe here so we can be a little… freer.” She reached out and held my hands, then she asked, “Lucifer, are you their brother? Amenadiel and… the others.”

What did she ask that for? “Of course I’m their brother!”

“Alright, and you said they wouldn’t help you harm one of their own because it isn’t right to hurt brothers. Am I right?”

Wherever she’s going with this, I’m losing my patience.

“Yes, I just said that! What are you, a parrot? What is this in aid of?” 

“Would you consider burning my…my ears harmful?” I sat up straight and peered at her. 

“Did someone hurt you, hurt your ears?” I stared intently at the ears her hair was covering. 

“No! No, no I wan’t hurt. Don’t worry. Answer the question, please.” 

“Of course it is harmful! Why do you even need to ask?”

“If someone burnt Amenadiel’s hand, will that be considered harming him?” I feel a little bit of dread coming up from within. _Where_ is she going with this? 

“Yes.”

“Then why is burning your hand okay? You’re their brother, harming a brother is wrong, and burning your hand is harmful, but it happened to you. Lucifer, you know what they did is wrong, right?”

Well, yes of course I know. It not only is wrong, it bloody hurts. But I didn’t have a say, and it has always been like this. What am I supposed to say to that?

“Lucifer,” Linda continued like she never asked those questions, “why are you suddenly listening to Chloe?”

“What? I _always_ listen to her!” 

“Not like this Lucifer, what’s going on?” I could only stare at her helplessly. I’ll have to tell her at some point. There’s no going around it, I suppose.

“Dad put the Detective in my path to take my free will. So I decided to give my free will away. The Detective is the best choice I have, I don’t mind listening to her.” 

“Oh_, Lucifer…_” What is she so sad about? I gave up! I stopped fighting. Isn’t she always so exasperated when I keep causing trouble? She should be happy about this!

“Oh _don’t start_ Doctor.” I felt the irritation grow unexpectedly, which is not a good thing because the Detective is only a door away.

“Alright, I won’t comment on it, but _Lucifer_, why are you _afraid_ of her?” 

“What? No! I’m not…” Right she’s not buying it. What is with the women in my life that can read me better than I can? “I just… don’t want to find out what her punishments for me might be if I do something wrong okay? I mean, the last time I did this whole _no-free-will_ thing, the punishments were a little less than torturous and a little more than a tap on the back of my hands. Then at the end I was thrown out of heaven and into hell. The Detective probably won’t do something _that_ drastic, but I don’t like punishments when I’m on the wrong side of it alright?” I didn’t quite snap at her, but my tone weren’t very good in any case, and when I’m done with my tirade, I realised again I lost control. Shit, shit, _shit_! She likes me _polite_. 

_When_ are you going to _learn,_ Lucifer!

“Look, I’m sorry, Linda, I know I haven’t been much of a friend lately, but I’ll try my best alright. Well, you can bet I’ll be on my best behaviour when the Detective’s nearby,” I let out a nervous chuckle, glancing at the door quickly, “She does terrify me, she scares me before I even started to give her free-reign over my will. She is _so good_ and whenever she disapproves, she has this face that I absolutely cannot stand. It’s just… before, if she said she wanted to smack me for being rude, I would probably be rude _at _her. But now, even if she doesn’t know it, she can smack me as many times as she like until she’s convinced I’ve learnt my lesson.” I made my voice as light as I could, “no biggie!” 

Linda sat there and stared intently at me, which makes me nervous. She sees things about me that I didn’t want people to see, and that scares me a little. I fidgeted a little, wanting to escape her knowing stare, but she continued. I gulped a breath of air, stood up and quickly wrenched the door open, “Detective, Linda says you can come in now.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Linda has a lot on her plate as she struggles to balance both Lucifer's and Chloe's reactions. She tries again, to speak with Chloe about the situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for the support! This story has slowly come to shape in my mind, and it has been a pleasure publishing the chapters here. Chloe will learn the truth in the journey to helping Lucifer, and Lucifer is not as broken as he looks currently. In all actuality, Lucifer's condition got even more pronounced when Chloe went to Linda. If you recall, Lucifer was still able to flirt and function quite normally before they went to see Linda.

I stood up straight from where I was leaning on the wall, and walked into the office. Lucifer’s demeanour is a lot more fidgety than before. What did they talk about?

Linda spoke up as soon as I walked in, “Lucifer, I’d like to speak to Chloe in private, again, please.”

“But…” He started to protest, and I was so surprised I spun around to look at him. But he obviously misinterpreted my reaction, because he swallowed whatever protest he had and nodded before shuffling out.

“Lucifer,” Linda called before he closed the door behind him, “May I speak with Chloe about what we discussed?”

Lucifer only stared at Linda, and Linda continued, “I will be _discreet_.” There is obviously something they were hiding there, and I felt a stab at the lack of trust he seemed to havein me. If he could tell Linda, what couldn’t he tell me? I know it’s selfish and very, very immature to compare things like that, but…it’s difficult to not be bothered by the intimacy Linda and Lucifer seemed to share.

Lucifer’s eyes flitted to me for a second, before bowing his head, and going out with a softly spoken “As you wish” before closing the door.

I stared at the door for a while, before Linda’s voice brought me back to the present.

“Chloe, I…I don’t know how to say this, but to put it in simple words…Lucifer has decided you’re his new…handler…so to speak.” What?

What does that… “What does that even mean?”

“Well according to him, he will listen to everything you say and asks him to do, just as I assume he has these past few weeks, and…I know this is unfathomable, but bear with me, he will submit to any punishment you deem he deserves.”

I can feel my eyes widening, this… this is absolutely surreal. Lucifer…letting me…

“Is this a joke? No no no no no! Lucifer is prideful and, and intelligent and full of life! What _happened_ that would make him want to give me control over him?!” He loves being in control! He loves free will! It’s been all he’s saying since I’ve met him at Lux! There is no way…no way he would… but he did…and I can feel a sob ripping through my lungs. He cowers before me, trembles in my presence, pleaded with me with his eyes asking for _mercy_, that’s what he’s been conveying since at the precinct! He thinks he needs my _mercy_!

“So how do we help him? How do we…how should we…_what_ should I _do_?” I’m gasping out the words at this point, my breaths becoming short. Does he think I might burn his hands as a punishment too? I feel nauseous suddenly.

“_We_ will help him understand he has a choice. So give him as many choices to make as possible. He thinks he has no right to free will, Chloe, you need to help him remember that right.” A sob tore through me loudly, I couldn’t contain it anymore. I buried my head in my palms as I sobbed my frustrations and worry out.

I couldn’t stop thinking about what Lucifer must have went through, to think he had no right to free will. What kind of childhood must he have had, to feel he needs a handler. Lucifer, who is strong, and kind, and strange, but _good_.

I stood up and ran out the office into the restroom, barely hearing the panicked “Detective!” Lucifer shouted. Linda is there, she’ll take care of Lucifer. I need to get this out of my system first.

After what seemed like hours, I finally flushed the toilet and rinsed my mouth. The bitter aftertaste lingering, but nothing compared to what is swirling between my chest and my sternum.

I walked back to Linda’s office, and heard a softly whispered argument inside through the little crack they left.

“It was your behaviour she was upset with Lucifer, not mine.”

“_You_ were the one talking to her! I didn’t do anything!” He sounded really, really scared…I only went to the toilet, what is he thinking that is so bad?

“You shouldn’t have told her! Now she’s sick, and it’s _your _fault!” No, even if he’s going through a hard time now, I couldn’t let that pass!

“Lucifer!” He froze, and started to tremble. Why does he do that? I wasn’t going to do anything to him! He knows that right?

He instantly bowed his head, and stopped speaking, his demeanour went from an angry man to a traumatised child. That right there…_that’s _the effect I have on him now. I tried to say as softly and gently as I could, “You can’t blame Linda for that, okay? It wasn’t her fault.”

He bit his lips and nodded slightly. I stared at him, not actually looking, but thinking how I should go about this. How do I deal with Lucifer while he insists on putting his leash in my hands?

Obviously, Lucifer misinterpreted my gaze, because he started, and then, _apologised_ to Linda. I mean, this time, he did have his rudeness to apologise for, but that’s like, the _third_ time he apologised today.

I took a deep breath as I processed everything that’s happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a little bit confused as to whether Lucifer calls Linda 'Doctor' or "Dr Martin' more.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chloe tries to tell Lucifer that there's nothing to fear from her.

“Lucifer…what…what do you think I would do if you disobeyed me?” I couldn’t be more upset with the situation. He looked up at me wide-eyed, and opened his mouth before closing it again. He was flustered, and I wondered if he would answer. Is what he expected I would do so unspeakable?

I open my mouth to speak, to soothe him and tell him it’s alright if he didn’t want to say, but he beat me to it and said in a rush, “You’ll punish me! If I disobeyed, you’ll punish me. I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to delay answering your question, I just…I just…”

_That_ was when I realised how deep this whole thing went. The punishments he must have received from his family, the sort of restrictions that must have been placed on him, he is projecting everything he learnt in his childhood to his relationship with me, exactly as he projects problems in his life on the cases we have had before. _Why me?_ I wanted to ask. But I suspect I know the reason. 

I looked at him, _really _looked, and what I saw is an abused child, so _terrified_ of punishments that he trembled at the _possibility_ of it. What I’ve learnt from the past few weeks is so horrifying that I couldn’t fathom anyone having endured anything like it. He thinks he has to answer _every_ question, whether he wants to or not. He thinks a _look_ from me means he will receive punishment later. He thinks he cannot protest when Linda and I are blatantly kicking him out of the room to essentially _discuss him_. He thinks he must be a polite, soft-spoken _robot_ with no thoughts and free-will around me. He thinks he has to throw everything that defines himself away and conform to my rules. To rules I merely showed minor disapproval toward. No inappropriate comments, no asking inappropriate questions, keeping his temper in check, being on time, he has been doing all of those without me asking lately. _And _he expects punishment if he breaks any of those _ridiculous _rules. _This_ is the reason. 

I never knew Amenadiel was like that, I didn’t know the characters in his metaphors treated him _this_ badly. His _brothers, _his _mum, _his _father_! If I have anything to say about it, Lucifer is _never_ going back. 

I grabbed his arm, and he jumped, _literally jumped, _and stiffened, expecting my ire I expect. Well, he will not get any of those _punishments_ from me, or _ever again. _

“Lucifer, I want you to listen to me.” He continued to tremble in my grasp, his breaths coming out in short, quick gasps. 

“_Look at me_!” I said vehemently. He needs to see that I mean this. 

He needs to learn _forgiveness_.

** _ Lucifer’s POV _ **

The Detective grabbed my arm, and I thought she was going to give me a headlock the way I’ve seen her do to the criminals she apprehend. I didn’t dare resist, but I was _so afraid _of what she would do _after _she’d had me in a compromising position. 

I couldn’t understand what I did wrong, I apologised, sincerely might I add, and I hoped the Detective would be lenient. But I’ve apparently finally gone too far without punishments. Complacency do not become me, I’m afraid. 

I supposed I started to ventilate. It’s difficult to process that I’m finally getting what I deserved. She told me to listen to her, and I didn’t dare move. Any disobedience could only mean bad news for me. 

“_Look at me!_” She said fiercely, and I jerked my head toward her direction. I’m showing her my full attention, despite the fear at the back of my mind, and the distracting trembling I have going on throughout my body. I didn’t dare hesitate, not when she’s this angry.

And she _was _angry! Just...not with someone I expected. What she said next, made me love her all the more, because if she is _God-sent_, then I surrender.

“Lucifer, I want you to believe me when I say this. Do you understand?” I nodded slightly, whispering a “Yes Detective” before she continued. 

“You have _no idea_ how much I want to just _bash your families’ head into each other’s asshole_ because of how they treated you. Do you understand how much effort I’m putting into holding myself back from _hunting them down_? I will _never_, I repeat, _never_, punish or hit you in anger. And if I do, you _have to _defend yourself. _At any cost._ Do you understand?”

I was stunned. What is she saying? That I should disobey? To avoid punishments? But wouldn’t that anger her more? I don’t want to do that…

But she seemed really frustrated with my lack of response. She took hold of both my arms and shook me hard, her eyes reddening, and getting wet.

“I said, _do you understand_.” I bit my lips, because I’m so tempted to just agree, and it is instilled in me to just agree with anything my superior says. But _I cannot lie_. _Especially_ not to the Detective. I started to tear up, I’m lost at what to do. She’s a miracle, she’s _my _miracle, and I really _really _wanted to be as perfect as she wants me. How do I do that though, if I don’t understand what she wants me to do?

I tried my hardest to keep my tears at bay. It’s my fault she’s frustrated, I don’t have the right to play at her sympathies. 


	8. Chapter 8

Lucifer looked like he was going to cry any minute. He was biting his lips, his body wrecked with tremors, his breath short and fast. I was pressed up to his chest, both hands grabbing his arms, not wanting to miss any of his facial expressions.

But his insecure eyelids fluttered, though his eyes never stopped being on me. I could tell though, he is fighting every instinct to look away and hide his feelings. How must he feel, to think he must keep exposing himself even though he didn’t want to?

Linda interfered then, putting her hand on my arm, and pushing down slightly. I took her cue and let Lucifer go, taking a deep breath. This is a delicate matter, and I shouldn’t have lost control. I combed my fingers through my hair, and plopped back down onto the couch, rubbed my face and buried myself in my palms for a few seconds, before looking back up at Lucifer.

His eyes are still on me, obeying my last order. His trembling never ceased, even though Linda was trying her best at calming him down. He stiffened immediately when my eyesight landed on him. I patted the couch just like before, and as gently as I could, repeated the words I said then, “Come here and sit down.”

He obeyed almost instantly. I could feel his shaking body. I put my hands on his face, and looking into his eyes, making sure he felt the solemnity of my words, “You can ask any questions you have, and you can do anything you want. If I get angry, I will scream at you, or give you the cold shoulder, but I will _never_ lift a hand on you, or leave you. Now answer this question: do you understand?”

He gulped, and opened his mouth a few times. I smiled at him, using my thumb to sooth his cheeks, keeping my voice as gentle as possible.

“It’s okay if you have questions Lucifer.”

“Y…Yes, Detective.” He finally answered softly, “May…may I clarify your latest instruction, please?”

I nodded, and he hesitatingly continued, “Y…you said to defend myself, at any cost, may I…at least…maybe…try and endure the punishments?”

I stared at him, stunned. What is he saying? That he’d rather endure a punishment than to defend himself?

“I…I didn’t mean to contradict your orders, Detective. I mean to say, that I could…maybe not defend myself at any cost. I…I don’t want to make you angry. And…and you said that you might give me the cold shoulder if you got angry. I’d rather receive a punishment than to endure that. But…but of course, if that is the punishment you deemed I deserve, I will endure it as best I could, but…if I could maybe plea for some leniency? Or a little of your mercy, perhaps?”

He looked at me, his expression somewhere in between hopeful and fearful. _God_ I hate that fear on his face. I also _absolutely abhor_ the way he humbly asked for a punishment in replacement of a cold shoulder. Apparently my attention is worth enduring pain for. And he called it _leniency. Mercy._ My heart couldn’t help but ache for him. Let’s add emotional neglect to the long list of transgressions I’d like to eviscerate his parents for, shall we? I sighed and moved to soothe his anxiety.

“Alright, maybe I was a bit hasty in saying that. I meant that you should dodge whatever I’m going to hit you with, or at least move away from the line of fire. Maybe flee to your penthouse for a bit, until I called and tell you I’m calm enough not to take my anger out on you. And I promise, because I know now how it affects you, that I will try my best to not give you the cold shoulder. If I do, talk to me about it, or ask Linda to talk to me about it, and I will correct my attitude. Is this easier for you to go through with?”

“May I…flee out of reach, but within sight, please?”

I chuckled at his response, forgetting the situation at the moment and joked, “Are you bargaining with me like your devil deals?”

_That _set me straight, that this situation is dire and no place for jokes, for he immediately apologised for having the _audacity_ to question my order, when I’ve _already_ shown leniency and altered them at his _mere request_, being _far kinder_ than he deserved.

I stopped him before I charged outside for another round of unpleasant puking, and agreed with his suggestion. Whatever makes him feel better, and stop him from disparaging his self-worth in such a manner.

His current state left me uncomfortable with leaving him alone, and Dan is taking Trixie today, so I told Lucifer that he’ll be coming home with me today, _not_ to have sex, but to make sure he’s fine.

We bid farewell to Linda, well _I_ did, and Lucifer followed me and my cues, as always recently. Then I drove us back to Lux and let him grab some clothes, before driving us both back to my house.

Lucifer was quiet throughout the ride, but he seemed less nervous, at least he stopped trembling, and only picked at the hems of his shirt. Although he did still steal glances of me like _every twenty seconds_, but as least those looks are not filled with fear, merely uncertainty. But I can deal with that, I hope…


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has gone quite slowly, and it could be really boring by now, but I hope you all still enjoy this! I love this story, and I hope I can finish it!

We arrived just when the sun was setting, and I realised just how much time we spent at Linda’s. I parked and got out of the car, Lucifer following suit. And I let him into my house. He stood unsurely in the corridor while I took off my coat and started to make myself comfortable. He’s never been this uncomfortable in my house before. In fact, he’s always been perfectly obnoxious in just entering and doing whatever he pleases in my house. But he hasn’t come over ever since I was poisoned, and I never thought to invite him. 

I initially thought we would be able to advance into something more, something _lovely_, but I never expected _this_ as a result. Whatever he’s been through has caused him to treat any intimate relationship with the same mindset he had with his family, and that’s just _sick_. 

I came up to him and told him gently to take a seat on the couch, while I went into the kitchen and stewed some tea on the stove. I also put together some toasts. My Dad had always told me when he was still around, that when someone is feeling out of sorts, food will always help. And feeling as out of depth as I am currently, what else could I do?

I brought the food over, and offered them to Lucifer. He smiled a wan smile, and nervously took the food from me. He glanced at me uncertainly before hesitatingly starting into the food, like he needed my _permission_ to _eat._ This gets worse the more I find out…

“Hey, you alright there?” I reached out to him slowly, and threaded my fingers through his hair. He leaned into the touch, purring slightly, _despite_ his trembling. He so obviously craved my touch, touch of any kind maybe, and I would loathe to deny him any boon at the moment. If all he would like is some soothing and touch, then I’m gonna give it to him.

But if he’s so afraid of me, why does he…_why would he _crave my touch. Did he crave _their _touch too? Ice cold fury rippled through my spine as I realised how protective of Lucifer I’ve become over the few hours of utter devastating revelations. If those _bastards_ treated him the way they did, and Lucifer still _craved_ their touch, it could only mean how _isolated and touch-starved_ Lucifer is. 

It’s like he is tuned into my thought frequency, because the moment my anger spiked, he jerked back and shrunk into the side of the couch. I pushed my rage aside instantly, _focus on Lucifer, only on Lucifer, not his God-forsaken family. _

“Hey hey hey, it’s alright, I’m not angry, shhhhh, you’re fine. I’m fine, we’re fine.” At this point, I have no idea who I’m convincing, him, or myself. I pulled him into my embrace, and just carded through his hair, trying my best to sooth him.

Lucifer stiffened, but as my ministrations continued, he let out a shaky breath and relaxed. 

“Have…have I upset you, Detective?” I sighed, curbing my desire to curse at his family again, within my mind or not, and did my best to assure him that “_no_ I’m not angry with you”, and that “it’s _not _you that has upset me”. 

Lucifer has never been entirely open with me before, and the few times he has, he has always been prone to running away. But this time, it seems, he feels he has no choice in the matter. Because I was wondering in my mind what he was thinking, a question I wanted to ask him every time I interacted with him, and without knowing it, I voiced the question aloud.

And as guilty as I felt for using his insecurities against him, I didn’t stop him when he haltingly started to answer.

“I’m just hoping that…if you could be so kind as to…tell me the rules? If you told me how I should behave, I _promise_ I’ll do my best to behave accordingly. I…I don’t want to _ever_ make you upset with me, in _any _way.” 

I felt him raise his arms at my waist, but never daring to actually land them on my body. I caught his arms when he seemingly gave up and led them up to my waist, holding them there a second longer to make sure he understood what I wanted from him, before speaking again.

“Lucifer, it doesn’t work that way. There’s no way two people can have a relationship without ever having disagreements. You don’t have to act the way I want you to. You just need to be yourself.”

He shifted as I spoke, and trembled at my last sentence. As I pressed a kiss on his neck to emphasise how important it is for me that he only tries to be himself, he gasped and tightened his arms around me. 

“But being myself isn’t good enough!” He buried himself in the crook of my neck, as he said softly, “Dad threw me out _because_ I wanted to be myself. Mum and the others just stood by when Dad threw me out so I think they don’t like it when I’m just being myself. Amenadiel even came to drag me back to hell so I couldn’t be myself. What if…what if you don’t like me when I’m being myself? I don’t want you to hate me. I _promise_ I can be good for you. I won’t ask for anything I’m not supposed to like I did with my Dad. I _can_ be obedient. Just don’t leave me, _please._ If…if I’m bad, you can p…punish me however you like, I _promise_ I won’t make the same mistake twice. If you teach me, I _will_ learn. Please let me stay with you? _Please. I love you_ Detective. I don’t ever want to lose you.”

I held my breath at the exact moment I heard the three magic words. All I’ve been trying to do since he started talking was to calm my anger and breathe as normally as I could, especially when he can so easily detect my reactions as close as we are now. But the three words every girl loved to hear, to hear it from a person who has always been there to support me, from someone I am already contemplating maybe spending my life with, to hear it in such an _impossible plea_, how is this my life now? He is putting all of the control in my hands, and as much as I liked taking control in a relationship, I don’t _want _to be a dictator! To hear the three words spoken in such a broken voice, the feelings these three words brought could only be spoilt, not by Lucifer of course, but by the impossible situation _his family_ has put us in. 

I let out a gasp, one I’ve been holding in for a while, I think, and gripped Lucifer’s head and pushed him further into my neck, as I myself buried my face into his. I tightened my arms around him, and breathed in his scent. There is no doubt in Lucifer’s feelings for me. No matter how he expressed it, the amount of power he gave me over him, and the amount of fear he has shown to losing me, that alone should be enough to convince me of his feelings. Let’s not start with how he’d prefer punishments to a cold shoulder, or even pain to distance. If there were _any doubts_ before all of this happened, they have all gone.

_One step at a time._ What’s the first step to reassuring someone from an abused household?


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some insight to Lucifer's thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any comments or suggestions would be appreciated! Now I thought it would be interesting to bring both their POVs into the story, and so far I've been switching whenever I like, whichever I thought might contribute more. But I was just wondering...does it confuse you?

The Detective gasped at my words, and held me closer, not that we could get any closer. I don’t mind at all though, given how our proximity could only mean she is not repulsed by my person. All the easier to breathe in her scent and let it overcome my senses. She didn’t say anything, but then, she didn’t have to. She doesn’t have to do anything. She only needs to do what she desires, and I _liked_ helping her do what she desires. So she can crush me with a hug all she wants.

The Detective told me that myself is all she wants me to be, but I’ve seen her reaction when I ‘be myself’. Her disapproval is something I want to avoid _at all cost_. So I resolved to be the person she wants me to be, and make that ‘myself’. She doesn’t understand how difficult it will be for me if I ever lost her. Back when I was _little Samael_, I was the perfect son in front of my Father, I tried my best to be the perfect brother. Of course I did try and have a laugh at my brothers’ expense, but I quickly realised the kind of repercussions that would come my way in response, and stopped. I suppose it’s normal they would retaliate, but I didn’t think I would ever want to experience _that_ again. It’s no wonder they didn’t like me pranking them, if that’s what they felt. The dozen of sunrises I was left in that room was _terrible._ It was pitch dark, and I couldn’t tell time. The ropes they used were Barachiel’s ropes, and little lightning charges were running through them. It was all I could do to keep myself vomiting from the pain, especially at the electricity going through my wings. I tried _so_ hard to escape the ropes, but my futile attempts only made them tighter, and the charge higher. They only loosened when I lost consciousness and when I woke up again, going back to my safe haven in that little light-filled spot where none of them knows about was all I could think about. 

I tried _really really_ hard to be good to my brothers after that. I’ve learnt my lesson, and I won’t make the same mistake twice. But they must still be dissatisfied with me, because none of them helped me when Father threw me out of heaven, and none of them helped me when I prayed to them in hell. They’ve abandoned me, even though I’ve tried _so hard_, and I didn’t want that to happen with the Detective. 

No, being myself will not do at all. I need to be good, and moral, and just…_not myself_. There’s no way around it, and no other option. The Detective is my _everything_ now, and I’ll do _whatever_ she asks of me. _Even_ go through the dozen of sunrises in the terrifying room again. As long as she’ll still be there when I walk out of the room.

I love her so much. I don’t think she’ll ever understand how important it is for me to not lose her. I’ll do anything, _anything_, if it means she’ll stay with me willingly. What’s a little _obedience?_ It’s nothing I haven’t given before. I’m just happier giving it this time. 

I mean, she is the _first_ person to _want _me around, to _like_ my company, to _laugh_ at my jokes. It makes me feel like she at least doesn’t _entirely_ detest me. Not to mention giving birth to an offspring who also likes me. Also, she is _the most beautiful and sexy woman_ I have ever had the pleasure of meeting, and I’ve met _a lot_ of pretty ladies in my existence. And the way she commands the attention of everyone with her skills and brains, _not_ just her body, just makes her _hot_. She is so beautiful inside and out, that it hurts just thinking I might be tainting this pile of white snow with my blood-red stained hands. Just touching her feels as if I’m upsetting the balance of some cosmic universe, how could I _ever_ be worthy of her? 

But I cannot let her go, and I cannot leave of my own accord. My heart wouldn’t let me, even if my mind tells me I should. She doesn’t deserve to be saddled with my unworthy presence. So I’ll try my hardest to erase the stain, or at least, cover them up. And if she could let me just _stay in her vicinity_, that’ll be enough.

She loosened her hold after a while, and straightened up, and no matter how much I want to just stay in her arms forever, it’s not what I want that matters. I followed suit, and ate the toast she gave me at her direction. She seemed a little unsteady, like she’s going through the motions, but her mind is not really all there. She’s troubled about something, and I wish I can help her, but what could I do? I’m just someone who causes problems. I just hope I haven’t upset her in any way again. 

She took the dish from my hands when I’ve finished the toast, and left it in the sink, before leading me up to her room, _by hand_ might I add, and pushing me into her bathroom with instructions to wash up. I quickly did as I was told, and went out, only to be met with further instructions to lay down _on her bed_, and I did, tentatively, but who am I to refuse what she tells me to do? She laid beside me, and gently, _gently_, pulled my head into the crook of her neck, both her arms circling my head, and settled down. 

I didn’t know where to put my arms, so I fisted them and gingerly placed them between our bodies, but just being this close to the Detective, it is more of a heaven than my previous home could ever be. I snuggled into her neck as carefully as I could, and let the exhaustion I’ve been starting to feel since at Linda’s take over, pulling me into a deep sleep.

_One step at a time._ What’s the first step to showing the Detective I can be good?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to write longer chapters, so I think that I might take a little longer than a few days from the next chapter onwards. I hope you liked this chapter!
> 
> But longer chapters are worth the wait right?


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a new case!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright! Longer chapter! As promised! The story is finally moving! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

I carded my hands through his hair as he slept, tugged into my shoulder and wrapped up tightly in my arms. He looked so peaceful asleep. I thought back to his behaviour last night, and can only come up with sorrow for the life he escaped from and anger at his family. 

He practically begged for me to tell him the rules, and as I was processing his _confession of love_ and thinking how I should go about reassuring him, he didn’t even try nudging me back into the conversation. He quietly did what I told him to do, without question, though with some hesitation when it came to laying in my bed. 

If his family have cast him out for being himself, it’s no wonder he has such trouble just relaxing. Is that why he speaks in all those metaphors? Okay, one problem at a time. I’m going to have to deal with his fear before thinking about his trust issues and family issues. _One step at a time._

He fears my punishment, so I’ll have to convince him that it will not be coming. That’ll take time and effort, but he’s worth the effort. Linda said to give him as many choices to make as possible too. If I could encourage him to take the initiative to do something, that’ll be a bonus. 

I sighed and let the exhaustion take me, breathing in his soothing scent and finally letting sleep take over…

I woke with a start hours later, hearing but not comprehending the pitiful whine and the minor shaking of the mattress at the edges of my consciousness. I turned towards the sound, sleepily humming in question, wondering what it is that woke me up. 

It took me a while to be alert enough to hear the actual words, and not having any preparation at all only made the words penetrate my heart that much more. 

“Please, I’m sorry, don’t wake up. Don’t wake up, I didn’t mean to do that, please.” Similar words of apologies repeated over and over like a chant, and the shaking I can now identify as the person beside me trembling only got worse as I start to wake fully.

I slowly moved my hands through his hair, simultaneously trying to soothe him and figure out what happened. But before I could say anything, he froze and stopped breathing. 

Still not catching up to what had happened, I let out a questioning sigh, “Lucifer?”

When no answer was forthcoming, I forced my eyelids open and stared blearily at him. His eyes were widened and filled to the brim with tears, though not yet overflowing. He was biting his bottom lips like he was enduring something unbearable. His hair was wet with perspiration and I can feel his hands between us clenched in fists tightly.

“Lucifer?” I tried again. This time he gasped and answered softly, “Y…Yes Detective?”

“What’s wrong? Why are you trembling? Did something happen?” I really _really_ tried to be as gentle as I could, but I don’t it helps at all, given the short breaths he gasped in and out after he started breathing again. 

“I…I’m sorry Detective. I didn’t mean to! I _promise_. Please don’t be mad!” Now that got my attention, because not only did that _not_ answer my questions, I got even more confused. I moved closer to him to get a better look at his expression, but he gasped and pleaded even more earnestly, “_Please_! I’m sorry! Please don’t…don’t come closer, I promise I didn’t mean to! I couldn’t control it, please don’t be angry.” 

I felt the problem the moment he tried to back away from me, but my arms are still around him and there weren’t much space for him to move into anyway. The hardness between his legs are protruding and poking me in the thigh, but that’s normal! It’s in the morning, and we were so close together on the bed, having a morning erection is so beyond normal it is making it hard for me to understand where all his fear stemmed from. Did he think I would be angry for having reactions around me? 

“Oh _Lucifer._ It’s okay! Hey hey look at me, I’m not angry. See?” I put as much sincerity in my voice and my eyes as I could, showing him I was okay with his body’s reactions. He searched my face for a long moment, and he must have found whatever he was looking for, for his trembling went down significantly, andhe sighed as he relaxed slightly beside me again. I tucked my head in his shoulder, still not all that awake, and missing the sleep I was woken up from. 

“Why did you think I would be angry, Lucifer?” I asked him, if I’m going to alleviate his fears, I’m going to have to understand where it all came from. His answer, though, only made me sad.

“Y…you didn’t want to have sex with me, you said that before. And…and you like it when I respect you. I…I thought…it didn’t seem respectful to…” He couldn’t finish, but I understand now. He knows I crave respect and acknowledgement from others, especially people in the male species. He thinks I would feel disrespected if I wake up to him having such a reaction. 

But he didn’t know I don’t just let anyone in to my bed, and respect doesn’t mean I want him to ignore his own needs in some misguided attempt to honour my wishes. Besides, I just hate being objectified in the male species’ conquests, but he has never treated with anything but respect. I didn’t want to have sex with him yet, it doesn’t mean he had to force himself to be unresponsive and chaste. In fact, how he had expected his body to just not have the reaction is beyond me. Did he think I would be angry at him for something the couldn’t control? Had he been blamed for something he couldn’t control before? 

“Lucifer, it’s okay. I’m not angry okay? Now come here.” I pulled him into a hug, hoping to convey my reassurances. _Slow and easy_, no scaring him, I have to keep myself calm and reassuring. It’s getting harder and harder. 

He snuggled into my neck, something I realised he liked to do whenever I hold him, and mumbled something intelligible. I kissed his head, and asked him if he’d rather get started on breakfast, or he wanted to sleep some more. He shivered a little, and stalled. I pulled us apart, and he went with an almost petulant pout, and looked him in his eyes.

“Lucifer? Tell me if you want to get breakfast now, or if you want to continue sleeping.” He looked down, avoiding my eyes, and replied in the only way I imagine he knew how.

“Whatever you want me to do.” That shouldn’t have been such a surprise, considering he has been following my orders _to the point_ since I woke up from the hospital. But not daring to make a decision? That is _so_ beyond any kind of persona I have ever associated with Lucifer. I missed Lucifer, the Lucifer who smiles crookedly at me when I crack one of those jokes that nobody got, the Lucifer who makes innuendos at _anything_ but still manage to keep his hands at a respectable distance, the Lucifer who cooks me breakfast whenever he feels like it, _my Lucifer_. And I want him back! If that is the last thing I do, I would find my Lucifer, and keep him safe. 

I sighed, and he tensed. I’m just so tired of finding out how many ways a family could fuck up one of their members this bad. 

Lucifer, though, sweet as he is, only sought to please me, and hearing me sigh only gave him the impression that he should be doing some work. He told me in the smallest voice, “I…I’ll cook breakfast, if it’s alright, Detective?” 

I wanted to press him further, to ask him if it was what _he _wanted. Never one to fight a losing battle, I can just imagine his responses of “I want whatever you desire” or “I want to make you happy”, I only pulled back the blanket we were under and gave him a nudge towards the bathroom. 

As I listened to the running water in the bathroom, and got lost in my thoughts, my phone rang.

“Decker.”

I guess the day has started. 

We pulled up at our new crime scene an hour later, freshly showered, and stomach filled with the delicious omelettes Lucifer made, at a white ranch house. The body was right in the middle of the living room, and I led Lucifer into the house, barely registering the crying woman to the left, or the vicious looking _sinister_ man to the back of the room. 

I saw Ella bending over the corpse of a brunette teenage boy staring intently at something, but I couldn’t make it out yet. She saw us, and immediately bounced as she explained her findings.

Victim was Henry Ames, the crying woman is the household helper, Wendy Ong and the angry man is his father, Frederick Ames. Cause of death was strangulation, though with what was unknown. Initial approximation of time of death would be around nine to eleven o’clock last night. The helper came in the morning as usual and discovered the body. There was a curious, Ella’s words not mine, marking on the neck, which looked almost like a star, but not exactly. There were burn marks all over the body, and the worst of all, lacerations, all the way from the upper back to the lower thighs. The worse of it all were on his rear. Angry red marks bruises littered it, with no skin left intact. There were spots of broken skin almost everywhere, almost like he was…

“Whipped.” Lucifer gasped out in completion of Ella’s report.

“Yes! How did you know that?” Ella wasn’t exactly looking for an answer, for she continued, “His wrists and ankles show signs of restraint, and the whip marks are long and narrow, which means it could be from a strap or a…”

“Belt.” Again, Lucifer finished her sentence. Both of us looked at Lucifer, though Ella with excitement at his cleverness and me with growing horror. There are a myriad of ways Lucifer might have known all these, but the one way that I suspect Lucifer would know what caused those wounds is not a good one, and this next bit…

“And those spots! It is highly likely that he wasn’t whipped with the strap, because those are caused by sharp objects, actually, they seem to resemble the shape of the marking on his neck. So this boy was whipped with the belt, but not just on the leather side, no siree, he was beaten with the…”

“Buckle of the belt.” I couldn’t help but gasp at Lucifer’s apparent knowledge of a whipping. He couldn’t be…could he? I covered my mouth in disbelief and shock. _No_. 

As always, he noticed my distress immediately, turning towards me and widening his eyes. He gulped, and then shifted his eyes towards the ground. 

He softly offered an apology, _always an apology_, then settled down to listen to Ella’s babble about the “many different clues” the body has to offer. 

Leaving her to her own devices, I pulled Lucifer into an alley, not far away, but private enough for a conversations. 

“Lucifer! What was _that_!” I _was_ asking about his knowledge of such wounds, but he flinched and started to tremble.

“I…I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to. I won’t do it again, _please_ don’t be angry.” Do what? I have no idea what crime he thinks he has committed, although he offered the answer shortly enough. 

“I di…didn’t mean to interrupt Ella during her diagnosis, it’s just…” His eyes fluttered shut for a few seconds, “Are…you going to punish me?”

“_No_!” Both my hands flew to my mouth. Did he…_think that I would_… “No! Did you…I wouldn’t…_Lucifer_!” I all but gasped my words, like a lump stuck in my throat has blocked my ability to breathe, and it has affected my voice and speaking ability. It was all I could do to keep it all in, but a sob escaped me anyway.

“Detective? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you!” He sounded panicked, but then I was already panicking, and whatever he tried to do to comfort me just flowed over the top of my head without registering. All I could think about is what might have happened to him. Did he live a life of abuse? Not just the occasional bullying by his brothers or the neglect from his parents, but physical abuse on top of all of that? 

Just…I had to know…_what happened to him_?

I grabbed his arms, just like when I was in Linda’s office, agitated as hell, and I couldn’t care much about how I could have scared him, for I felt a little crazed myself. And I asked, without any care of our surroundings, “How do you know so much about whip markings, Lucifer? How were you able to identify those lacerations?”

And I really, _really_ wished he could give me something I would have expected him to say when I just met him, something like “I like to have rough sex, Detective”, but what he told me, I just cannot get out of my head. What’s really getting me is not what he told me though, but _how_ he said it. Like it was _normal_, like it was something he was used to. The fact that he relaxed from his trembling when I asked the question, like he was relieved I wasn’t angry, but only _curious_. 

“Well, my Dad used to punish me this way of course. He was big on corporal punishment, and was really strict. He had this long bending belt, not sure where he got it from, like he needed it, he was the Almighty, why he would possess a belt I would never understand. But he had it ever since I came into existence, and he never hesitated to use it. The first time I had it swung on my back and…well…ass…was when I pranked Amenadiel. You know when I told you about the coloured beads of light on his wings? Yeah, my siblings got back at me, my Dad found out as well, and he got really angry at me. So he used the belt on me. Of course it was infused with Barachiel’s lightning and Nathaniel’s fire, and I think Amenadiel’s angel’s fire was in it too, but I’m not sure. Anyway, he told my mum to tie my hands up, they weren’t…separated yet, and he gave my first spanking. I did get punished quite often after that, since I always screwed up my duties, like forgetting to fetch a soul, or oversleeping. I had to treat myself after.” He paused a little right here, staring at me intently, and I shivered at the look, my blood running cold, because I just _knew_ what he would say next.

“If I stepped out of line, Detective, you could punish me this way. Or you could ask Amenadiel for this strap of his, he used to use it on me whenever I begged him not to tell Dad about some things I did, it was less painful, but painful enough I would never make the same mistake again, and it was certainly infused with his Angel’s Fire, so you wouldn’t even need his strength to make it hurt. He would gladly give it to you, or I could ask him for it if you want me to? I wouldn’t dare step one toe out of line if you use it.”

He looked back down after his rather…_illuminating_…speech…and I just _couldn’t_ believe it anymore. What he is saying is so much more severe than what I _ever thought_. He wasn’t in an abused household where his parents punished him and his siblings bullied him, ostracised and neglected did not even _get close to _covering it. His _whole family_ took part in the whole affair! His mother tied him down, his brother took things into his own hands, and it was deemed _leniency_, his father took a belt to his body, and if I am hearing this correctly, the belt is probably infused with electricity somehow, or heat, or both, and that is just on the side of _sophisticated torture_ that I never want to know exists. _How did he survive?_ How did he escape? 

And his _brother_, the one who strapped him, the one who burnt him, is here in LA, acting as our _friend_, working with Linda. Here is Lucifer, _offering_ to ask for a strap he had to _hate_, so I could use it on him, and there was _Amenadiel_, acting as the responsible brother, the reasonable brother. 

Oh he is on my list. The list of people who I _really, really_ want to just grind my fists into. Anthony Paolucci was on it, but now Amenadiel has just risen straight up to the top of the list. 

_How could they?_

The panic is slowly vanishing as its replacement rose up my spine. Ice hard _fury_ that I have never felt before, kept growing and growing and I was trembling from the effort to keep from imploding. 

Lucifer made this little whining sound then, a very soft, very timid little sound, but I heard it nonetheless, and I stomped my anger out ruthlessly. This is neither the time nor the place to nurture it. It is still there, and compartmentalising is part of my job, I will reach out to it when I _need it_. Particularly when I’m confronting Amenadiel. But for now, Lucifer comes before him, and he’s scared because of me. 

I roughly pulled him into my arms, and I growled in his ear, “_Forget the strap._ I am _never_ going to punish you. From now on, _no one_ will ever punish you, I don’t care what you did, or what you think you’ve done, I _know_ you, and you’re _good_. So no more punishments, no more begging for mercy, just…_no more_. You are with me now, and I will _never_ let you get hurt again.”

I put both my palms on his cheeks and pulled us apart, and glared into his shocked eyes, “_Do you believe me_?”

His eyes filled, and he gulped, but he seemed to have trouble answering me. With the current frame of mind I was in, being impatient was the least of it. I shook his head, none too gently - _not like he would complain, no thanks to his family_ \- demanding his answer.

He swallowed again, and then opened his mouth.

“_Yes_, Detective.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quite a bit of characters are made up by moi, but if there is anything I might have written wrongly, please comment to let me know!


	12. Chapter 12

“Father! What’s going on?” I stood in my Father’s throne room, a huge pillar with intricate carvings stood right in the middle, and I was in front of it, as I should be as my Father addressed me. My siblings stood at both sides of the room.

“I hear some things about you, Samael. Things you’ve done, things you _know_ you shouldn’t have, but did anyway. Samael, do you have _any idea_ how _disappointed_ I am in you?” My eyes watered immediately. I never wanted to disappoint Father, I only wanted to have a bit of fun. But he looked furious, and I trembled as I thought of Father being displeased. I’ve seen him reprimand Amenadiel before, and it wasn’t pretty. I gulped, and waited for the onslaught of fury. I was just _so young_, and I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to prank my brothers! I’ve seen Gabriel do it and they had a laugh out of it, I thought it would be the same. 

I never imagined what he had in mind could be this painful, for right after I offered my apologies, he immediately stood up at his throne, and gave the words I would never forget.

“Tie him to the pillar.” He looked at me, eyes full of contempt, “You will be given a lashing by myself personally, and hopefully, you will remember what you should do, and what consequences you will face if you step another toe out of line.” 

Before I could form a response, Mother tore my clothes off me, and turned me around, tying me up against the pillar, and right there at eye level, I could see an inscription, and it says: I love you, my son, and I will always be there for you. And I trembled, for there was nothing I could do but wait for the lashing. I turned my head and stared pleadingly at Amenadiel, surely he would help me? He had already punished me for the prank hadn’t he? But he didn’t give me any reaction, and I was filled with dread.

The first stroke was surprisingly unbearable, if I would say so, it is the worst stroke in all of the beatings I have ever endured in my long existence. That was the first time I felt this type of pain, and it was like my whole world had collapsed that moment. I screamed and squirmed and _by Devil_ did I fight, but the ropes Mother used held true, and I received the first beating of my life. 

By the time I was let down, there was no way I would _ever_ try pranking anyone again. In fact, I didn’t dare complain about Gabriel’s pranks on me too, for fear he would suffer the same repercussions I had. 

He continued though, and sometimes it wasn’t on me. One of his pranks caused an injury in little Uriel though, and if it is one thing all of us agree on, it is that Uriel needs to be protected and babied and hidden from all dangers. It was an accident, but Gabriel was terrified regardless. He begged me to take the fall, and as the ever compassionate moron, I agreed. Also, he threatened to let Dad know about my latest blunder in my work.

I, in turn, begged Amenadiel to not go to Father, when they found Uriel injured and I ‘came clean’ to my brothers and sisters. By this time, I have already experienced multiple beatings at the hands of my father, and I am absolutely terrified of the consequences of this particular offence. Amenadiel told me he would punish me instead then, for I shouldn’t be let off that easy, not for something like this. Foolishly, I thought it would be easier to bear than Father’s belt, and Amenadiel’s strap did hurt a lot less, but unbearable all the same. While Father’s belt had me crying on the first stroke, Amenadiel’s strap left me paralysed for weeks. They were both terrifying, and I now hate them both. 

The images of my beatings flitted through my memories as I explained to the Detective about the punishments I’ve endured at their hands, and though I hate my family now, I could never hate the Detective. I do love her, more than my life, and she is everything to me. If she decides to beat me to an inch of my life, then I’ll endure the beating as much as I could. And I can endure a lot. The punishment had been unbearable when I was still _little Samael_, but after all these years in hell? Now they don’t feel that painful anymore. I suspect if I am put into the same situation again, I wouldn’t be crying or begging like a little pathetic _boy_. With the Detective though, it is different, for her disappointment and disapproval is something I cannot live with, and I would cry or beg as much as I need to, so long as I could ensure her presence - however painful - in my life. 

I doubt any of her beatings could feel _that_ painful anyway, though every time I thought she would administer a punishment, the same fear I feel before Dad’s belt lands, or Amenadiel’s strap lands, rises up in my throat. I am vulnerable around her, and I am afraid of her, but it all stems from my love for her, and I can clearly see that now, ever since the poisoning, so there’s no need to hide from it now. 

So I offered to ask for Amenadiel’s strap. Her beating would no doubt make sure I behave myself, but a little more pain makes a better deterrent, doesn’t it. But the Detective has never been predictable, and she isn’t about to start now. 

She looked…torn…between fury and despair, and I’m afraid it was my doing. What did I do? I only offered to ask for Amenadiel’s strap! Is it because it wasn’t enough? But it was infused with Angel’s fire and _how do I explain that_? She doesn’t believe anything about my identity. What happens when she finally decides she’s had enough of my ‘lies’ though? I shuddered just imagining her face of disgust and rejection. _No_. I wouldn’t survive that. I’ll have to tell her soon, _show her_ soon. I cannot risk her rejection, and the longer I drag it out, the more likely she would. I have to do it, preferably with Linda in the room, and maybe after I asked her to tie me up so she could be sure of her own safety. 

She pulled me into an unexpected embrace, and told me - vehemently - how she would never punish me, how she would protect me, and then asked me with daring conviction, “_Do you believe me_?”

And I could _feel _the promise in the air, tangible, forming around both of us, and I knew what would happen if I answered. We would be bound, as equals, as partners, and I hesitated even though it could only mean the depth of her feelings for me are so great and full of determination, even as tears almost overflowed, what if I took her free will away? What if this _literally_ binds us?

But she shook me hard, impatient, and I felt the strands of the bond form into an intricate pattern, _just like on the pillar_, and I just _knew_ what she _desired._ So I answered.

“_Yes_, Detective.” And I felt the bond form.

“Yes? You believe me? Really?” She definitely didn’t expect my answer, not when I’ve been behaving like a little Bambi these last few weeks, but now I know what she desires, and how could I refuse such a sweet _sweet_ thing? I will give her anything she wants, and if she doesn’t want to punish me, if she wants to protect me, then who am I to deny her my faith?

I smiled tremulously, still reeling from the knowledge that she really didn’t want to reign me in with punishments or promises of pain and torture, “Yes Detective, I believe you. You _won’t _punish me, you will _protect_ me, and you think I’m _good_. Is that everything?” Some levity would have to break this tension between us, because she is still staring at me with the same intensity, and I cannot help but feel my nether region harden.

I will have to be myself then, but muted, _very_ muted, because I don’t think my penchant for torture and general insensitivity meets her approval. But I can deal with this, I _so_ can deal with this. This is a dream come true. No fear for punishments, but her presence all the same, in my life - _in_ my life - as _equals_. Whatever that bond was, I will do everything I can to keep her happy and free. 

She stared back at me, then huffed, mumbling something about our favourite therapist, before tugging me towards the crime scene by the sleeve of my suit. I couldn’t find it in myself to be concerned over the Hugo Boss - it’s no Armani, but it’s soon becoming my new favourite, but what’s a shirt compared to my favourite person? - and followed her, _I would follow her anywhere._

She went straight up to the angry man, and started her investigation.

“Mr Ames? Detective Decker, LAPD. I’d like to ask you a few questions?”

The man twitched, and his hand subconsciously covered over his left hand. 

“Yes?” 

“When was the last time you spoke with Henry?”

“It was yesterday morning, I think. He called and asked to meet, and I refused. I didn’t really listen to much of what he said. I hung up on him in minutes.” It looked like an effort to maintain a astable tone, but I could hear the fury buried in his voice.

“Why didn’t you want to meet him?”

“He was…_not_ the son I thought he would be…he…just, anyway, he had an argument with his friend Norman, I got _that much_ from his phone-call.” I fidgeted, not liking the atmosphere one bit. This man seemed really…_off_, and I know I have just had the epiphany of my life realising I could be the Detective’s equal, but I _did _decide to give her my free will before, and I stand by my decision. I just won’t be trembling in fear every few seconds in anticipation of punishments that wouldn’t be coming. Her word is her bond, and she did say she wouldn’t punish me for anything, and it _did_ bind her, _literally_. That _does_ help me believe in her words that much more. Now I feel a little guilty for not believing her before when she said the exact same words in Linda’s office. So decking the man seemed _out of the question_.

“Norman?” The Detective confirmed.

He spit the words out through gritted teeth. “Yeah, his friend from the bar down the street. Red Herring Bar.”

“Alright, Lucifer, you got any questions?” I started at her words. Questions? Oh. _Oh_. I turned to Frederick Ames, and pulled my influence over him. I lowered my voice to that particular timbre that I knew soothes every soul - well, except the Detective’s - and asked my question.

“Tell me, Frederick, what do you most desire? What secret wish do you hold in the deepest part of your soul” He resisted for a while, but he wasn’t one of those complicated ones, so he caved, just like every other person would in the end. Except the Detective. I felt my mouth twitching in amusement at my thoughts, everything seems to remind me of her. It’s irritating and distracting and…_hot as hell_.

“What…I don’t…I…I want him to disappear, Henry. He was an embarrassment, an abomination! He shouldn’t be out there _destroying my name_.” I refocused on Ames’s words, and felt my heart rate rise a little at his vile statement. I don’t like what - or _who_ \- he reminded me of. 

“You wanted him gone? What do you mean embarrassment? He was an Analyst, a _successful _one.” The Detective took over the questioning. 

“_So what_! He was _gay_! That…that _Norman, _he corrupted him! I caught him, in _flagrante delicto_ right in that bar of his! The Ames name will be dragged through the mud if this gets out! Good riddance I say, whoever did this did me a _favour_.”

“You…that is _your son_! You think your _name_ is more important than your son? The one who is _dead_ by the way! And all you care about is your name. You…_sorry excuse for a father_!” All the son wants is be himself! And his…his _father_ stops caring! Just like that! How could he? How does he just stop caring? I stepped towards him, feeling the urge to just _strangle the life out of him_, and raised my palms towards his neck.

“Lucifer.” The Detective put her hand on my arm of my raised arm, and I froze. Right, no strangling people, no projecting either. I swallowed and let my arm down, then shifted to the side and let the Detective continue her questioning. 

I scuffed my foot on the floor as I waited, slightly apprehensive at the scolding I’m sure I would get later. She might not punish me, but any display of her disapproval still scares me shitless. When would she finally decide I was too much trouble to keep around? If she tells me to leave her life, I’ll…I can only respect her wish. I don’t intend to let it get that far…but the paranoia sticks. I’m pretty sure the paranoia is good though. The fear is going keep me in check at least. There’s no way I would do anything worth her ire if I fear her rejection or abandonment. 

I glanced at her a few times, and she turned to me just as I glanced up. I couldn’t help but quickly looking back down at the ground, not daring to look up again. I refocused my ears on her questioning then, having nothing else to do. 

“Mr Ames, where were you at nine to eleven last night?” 

He let loose a smug chuckle. “Why, I was having sex, right at the Omni Hotel. With this _hot little chick_ who has this cute little birthmark right above her left nipple. I think she’s called Cherry or Sherry or something. Checked in with my credit card, you can check my records.”

“We’ll check that out. In the mean time, don’t leave town.” She turned to me, cocked her head towards the open front door, and walked out. I followed her out the house and into her car, and played with the hem of my shirt. I felt her gaze on my form, and I swallowed noisily.

“Lucifer,” She started, and I winced, here comes the scolding, “are you okay?” I spluttered, quite undignified if I say so myself, and could only stare blankly at her. Is that all she’s going to ask? She reached over and put her hand behind my neck, pulling me towards her as she leaned towards me, kissing me in my right eyebrow before letting me lean into her shoulder.

“Hey…we’re alright,” she kneaded the back of my neck, gently, always gentle, “I’m not angry. Don’t be nervous okay? Everything’s fine.” I nodded timidly, she might not be angry, but disappointment would be just as bad. She sighed, and I clenched my eyes shut. Sighing is not good, it’s never good. 

She pulled us apart, and I reluctantly separated from her, and she lifted my chin and made me look in her eyes. 

“Lucifer, I’m not mad. Okay?” 

I looked at her nose, not being allowed to bow my head as I liked, “But you’re upset. I didn’t want to upset you.” Yes, I know I sounded petulant, but who cares, everything was finally looking up and I just had to screw things up again. I pulled at my shirt furiously. 

“Yes I’m upset, Lucifer.” I bit my bottom lip, and after only a small glance at her, offered the tiniest apology, one that I didn’t think was worthy of my transgression, but when she got like this, I didn’t dare even _sound_ the tiniest bit aggressive. 

“I know that you’re sorry, Lucifer, I’m not upset about your…outburst in there. I was concerned mostly. I’m upset because you said you believed me when I told you I wouldn’t punish you. Did you forget to believe me?”

I stayed silent, and she pat my cheek with the hand she had on my chin. “Lucifer?”

I have to answer now, she wouldn’t be patient for much longer. “I believe you. I just…don’t want to upset you. Being upset makes you less patient, more irritable,more easily angered, and even if I won’t receive a punishment, I don’t…like it when you’re unhappy. Especially if I’m the reason. I…I’m scared you’ll lose your patience with me.”

“Lucifer, look at me.” I raised my head slightly, “I wasn’t upset because of you. I was upset because I keep thinking about your outburst inside the house.” I opened my mouth, but she went on before I could say anything, “No no no, I’m not upset with you, I’m upset with your _Dad_. I have lost every little bit of patience with him, which is quite a lot considering how fond I am at you. That should give him some points in his favour. But my goodness, he is the _vilest_ person I have ever known - or heard of in this case - and I was thinking of getting his details and finding out where he lives, so I can kick his ass.”

“Oh…” _Oh_. She was angry on my behalf, not with me. That’s _novelty_, right there. She is so _beautiful_ when she lights up with righteous anger like this moment. She giggled at my reaction, her brows loosening before I even realised she had them knitted together before. She pulled me back into her warm embrace, and I nudged her in the crook of her neck with my head, hoping to convey my feelings of gratitude across. She’s too good for me, yet she is still with me. That right there deserves every devotion I can offer. 

“Now, I need to pick Trixie up today, do you want to come with me?” I nodded at her neck, sniffed in her scent one last time, before pushing myself upright. 

She smiled the sweetest smile at me and said, “Buckle up, you’ll have to get used to Trixie for longer periods of time if you’re going to be near us permanently.”

Somehow, that reassured me more than anything could. 

We pulled over right at Beatrice Espinoza’s elementary school, and small little humans were flooding out of the building like rats out of their invaded nest. I fidgeted, and shifted my position uncomfortably. 

Beatrice is a nice little human I suppose, points for being the Detective’s offspring. But my experience with these tiny people have never been good! Those that I see before my fall are already dead, and they are always in some form of distress. They cry or shout or is just catatonic, and I was always afraid I would break them further. They seemed so…fragile.

Then those that I saw in _hell_. There’re two types. One of them would be those that were…_conditioned_…to believe they were guilty for everything bad that happens. The _other_ group though, are so creepy they creep even the devil out. They obviously haven’t formed any sense of right or wrong yet, and killed just for the fun of it. They liked the pattern the blood makes, they like the sounds the victim makes, they like a myriad of weird things in the process of killing and are just weird in the head. 

Whichever group I met, all of those children have one similarity. I’m afraid of them. Be it their fragility or their creepiness, their presence is something I cannot associate with anything good. But _Beatrice_, just like her mother, is innocent, and good, and very easily tolerable. And she’s the Detective’s favourite person, that puts her in my list of very important people I need to look out for and ensure the happiness of. It’s a very exclusive and comprehensive list. There are a total of four persons on it. The Detective, the offspring, the Doctor, and Maze. 

I turned my head slightly towards the Detective, memorising her face, slightly lifted chin looking out for her daughter, lips in an almost smile, eyes slightly narrowed to see in the bright sun. I suppose Beatrice has that effect on her, the joy I can practically see emitting out of her is intoxicating. However much I liked Beatrice - _yes_ I like her - on her own merit, _this_ is why I would protect Beatrice’s happiness with everything I’ve got.


	13. Chapter 13

Trixie excitedly climbed into the car, straightaway babbling a mile per second.

“Hi mum! Lucifer! Are you coming home with us? Are you cooking dinner? You have _no idea_ what we had for lunch today! We had _celery_, and I hate them! Why can’t they give us chicken instead? Or even potatoes?”

“Or chocolate cake?” I smiled as I listened to her ramble, and couldn’t help but insert a guess at her next words. 

“Well, yeah! You have to admit that chocolate cake is better than _celery_! Lucifer agrees, right Lucifer?” I chuckled as heard Lucifer sputter. 

“Well yes, of course. Which is why you should eat as much chocolate cake as you can in your life.” He paused here, though I’m not sure what he was doing, “with your mother’s permission of course.” I smiled at that. Boundaries, he’s doing better. 

“And yes. I’m going home with you, and cooking dinner. What do you desire tonight, Beatrice?” And I sighed, here comes the daily wrangling of two non-adults. What kind of deal is he going to come up with now?

“Shepherd’s Pie. The traditional kind, with lamb filling and all.” 

“Only if you promise to wash your hands and help me with it. And, if you promise to finish whatever desert I make too.” 

“Deal!” She said with the exuberance only she could display while making deals with the ‘devil’. The whole conversation just warms me, how I just knew he wouldn’t ask for anything entirely inappropriate, and how I don’t have to worry about him feeling obliged to cook to gain her affection. Trixie shows her affection quite clearly, in a very tactile way. There is no way anyone could mistake her excitement for distance or dislike. I thought that Lucifer might need the practice to be around Trixie, but the fact is, I’m already alright with leaving them alone together if I need to be away. They could gain so much from each other in a way I couldn’t help them with. Trixie could benefit from Lucifer’s unique perspective of the world, and his protection, and Lucifer would do well with more touch in his life. 

We reached the house shortly after, and Trixie pulled Lucifer into her room doing god knows what while I answered a call from the precinct. What they found out is slightly disturbing, and pretty much something I hoped would never happen to someone I care about. I stopped at Trixie’s room door, and leaned at the door frame as I observed the two of them. Lucifer is sitting cross-legged beside the bed, and Trixie is safely seated on his lap, with Lucifer’s arms circling her and holding her in place, holding a piece of paper in front of both of them. He was focusing on whatever Trixie was telling him, both of them staring intently at that piece of paper, Trixie occasionally pointing at it. The scene was so sweet, and I realised, Lucifer, though he may deny it, is so much more patient with Trixie than Dan ever was. He certainly never sat with her and just…_listened_. I felt that familiar sting behind my eyes, and a distraction suddenly became an incredibly great idea. 

I cleared my throat, gaining both their attention. 

“Lucifer, can you come out for a minute? Trixie why don’t you shower and get started on your homework?” 

Lucifer came out and looked at me expectantly, and I told him what I’ve heard. 

“So we’ve checked Ames’s credit card records, and he did check into the Omni Hotel last night. But! Get this, the surveillance showed him walking in, but not walking out. Also, Ella came back with some results. She found some skin fragments in Henry’s teeth, and there wasn’t a match for its DNA. You remember Ames covering his left hand earlier when we questioned him?”

Lucifer frowned in thought as he processed what I was saying. I added, “They also found out who the girl he said he was with last night was. Her name is Sherise Lang, and she’s a bartender. But she hasn’t been seen since last night. We got her address though. I think we should go there and talk to her tomorrow. You alright with that?” 

“Yes, Detective. Of course.”He agreed almost subconsciously, but appeared to be still deeply in his thoughts. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Detective, do you remember what Frederick Ames’s belt look like? Particularly the buckle.” It was an odd question, but I assumed he had a reason for it, and I thought back to the scene. I thought back to the morning, and re-imagined the time I was questioning Frederick Ames, and saw a glimpse of a belt, with a gold buckle…in the shape of something round.

“He had a gold buckle, a little shiny…it’s round. But I can’t put my hand on it, it’s round, but not really round. You know? There were spikes coming up at the top where I caught a glimpse…” He furrowed his eyebrows, and hummed in thought.

“Like a ship’s helm, Detective? The spikes sharp enough…”

And I realised where he was going with this line of thought, “to cause the markings on Henry’s neck! Lucifer! You’re a genius!” I took out my phone to call Dan and went out to pick up Ames, leaving a short request for Lucifer to watch Trixie on the way out.

* * *

“So you’re saying that Lucifer, like _the _Lucifer, just suddenly thought of Ames’s belt? Why didn’t he think about that when you guys were talking to the guy? I mean, it’s not like he was doing anything useful.” We were walking towards the house after I picked him up at the precinct, and I told him about Lucifer’s observation.

“Dan, he’s not a Detective alright? He’s a consultant, and he specialises in interrogation anyway. Not finding clues. Besides, he was busy dealing with his own problems at that time.” I was thinking back to when Lucifer almost strangled Ames and how he immediately backed down at my touch and voice. That was a faster cool down than normal, and I don’t like how it makes me feel. We walked up the pavement towards the door, and knocked.

“LAPD!” Dan shouted, before he continued, “Like he could have any legitimate problems anyway. He’s rich, he owns a club, he doesn’t have responsibilities, _and_ everyone’s letting him do whatever he wants. His problem is probably his oversized ego.” That pissed me off a little, everyone has their fair share of problems, and Dan shouldn’t just dismiss Lucifer’s. Not to mention how I actually know what Lucifer’s mental state is recently. But I pushed the indignance away, not wanting to promote Lucifer’s weakness. 

“Well, Trixie doesn’t let him do whatever he wants, she makes him do whatever _she_ wants, actually. He’s actually being tortured by your daughter now, so you can rest assured.” I knocked at the door again when no one came out, and gave another shout. 

“Wait, what? You left him alone with Trixie? What did I say about letting _him_ babysit? Chlo, he’s a danger to everyone around him! Why would you let them be alone!” 

“He…” I was ready to deck Dan in the head, but I was cut off by the door opening. “We’ll talk about this later.”

Frederick Ames opened the door with an irritated “I hope this is important, I’m in the middle of…Detective. Was there something else you needed?” I looked at his belt, and he was wearing that same belt that we were concerned about. We shared a look, and Dan nodded.

“We’d like for you to come in with us, please.” Dan smiled at Frederick Ames and said, “ We’ve got a few more things we’d like to clarify.”

* * *

“Mr Ames, the marks on Henry’s neck and his back matches the belt buckle you were wearing, a ship’s helm? You were disgraced, and you wanted him gone. That’s what you said. So you created an alibi, by going to the Omni hotel with a girl you picked up from the bar, and left her there while you go back and _make_ him disappear. Very well done, Mr Ames, _clever, except_ it didn’t work. Pretty arrogant aren’t you, wearing the very belt that killed him?” Dan was interrogating Ames, while I looked on through the two way glass. 

“I did _not _kill him, okay? I wanted to, but I _didn’t._” He fumed, “_Yes_, I wanted him gone, but I also wanted him to suffer. His actions have caused nothing but trouble for me and my name. You don’t have enough evidence to charge me anyway. I’m not going to say anything until my attorney’s here.”

“Shit!” I cursed. But I received a text from Lucifer and I took a look. I straightened up as I processed what it said. I took a stride and walked into the room. 

“We just found Sherise Lang, you know, the girl with a birthmark above her left nipple? Yeah, she has admitted that you left the hotel ten minutes after you got the room. The house opposite yours had surveillance that caught you climbing over the fence of your own house at half past nine. Your belt is newly acquired from Versace, and the original design had a distressed gold design, your belt however, is wiped golden clean. We found a cloth with blood stains in the dumpster less than five miles from your address, and what are the chances we would find the distressed gold substance matching your belt on the cloth, and that the blood would match Henry’s DNA? Ames, we have enough proof to put you at the scene of murder, and charge you with murder.” 

> Lucifer ——
> 
> Detective, I recalled a favour and have gotten the original design photos of Versace’s belts, and Ames’s belt buckle was too shiny and clean. Almost like it was wiped down and cleaned. I also had an associate search the parameters of Ames’s house and found a cloth with traces of blood and gold flecks on it. I’d guess the blood would be Henry Ames’s and the gold should be from the belt buckle Frederick Ames owns. Oh! And Maze found Sherise Lang. Good luck Detective.

I smiled as Ames started to talk. Lucifer really came through. I texted to ask how he was with Trixie at home. 

> Lucifer ——
> 
> We’re fine Detective. I hope it’s okay that I baked a chocolate cake for Beatrice. It’s a pretty large cake so I figured it should last her a while.

> Lucifer ——
> 
> *Image

I received an image of a large chocolate cake, one slice missing, smooth dark ganache covering it with speckles of gold and some cherries right in the middle. It looked just the type of unhealthy treat Trixie would be happy with. 

> Me ——
> 
> Make sure she doesn’t eat more than one slice, Lucifer. And tell her she can only eat the one slice per day. Mom’s orders.

> Lucifer ——
> 
> Yes, Detective. Be safe.

I smiled at his answer and kept my phone while I waited for Dan to wrap it up. I looked up and saw him walk towards my desk like a man on a mission. And the first words out of his mouth just made my blood boil.

“I told you I didn’t want Lucifer Morningstar near Trixie. He’s reckless and a danger to everyone around him! What were you _thinking_?” 

“I was _thinking_ that there isn’t anyone I could call. Would _you_ come when I need someone to watch Trixie? Would _you_ come if I needed you to take Trixie? Well, I found someone who _would_ come. So you have no reason to complain.” I seethed at him, “Oh! And he’s way better with Trixie than her own _father_. _That’s_ what I was thinking.”

“I was _busy_. I had work to do! And you’re one to talk, it’s not like you tried to help me with my work. You were working against me, against everybody, in fact. How was I supposed to take any time off for Trixie?”

“So you’re saying it’s my fault you’re never there? Good one Dan, well done. Do you have anything else to blame me for? Global warming, perhaps? No? Well, in that case, I won’t ask for you take time off then. Save both of us the trouble. You come and see Trixie yourself when you feel like it.”

I stomped out and left him standing there as I made my way back home. I cannot believe him. Who else is he expecting I call? _Malcolm_? The _nerve_! I pushed him out of my mind and resolved to not let him interfere with my relationship with Lucifer. 

I entered my front door, and felt the warmth spreading through me while I walked home. There was the fragrance of the shepherd’s pie Lucifer must have made for dinner, and soft laughter coming out of Trixie’s room. I closed the door lightly behind me, and walked as lightly as I could to Trixie’s room. I peeked through the crack at the half-open door, and what I saw made me smile, though if a little in sadness. It seems Lucifer is more relaxed when he’s alone with Trixie. 

Lucifer was lying down on his belly, propped up at his elbows, looking intently at Trixie trying to remove a bar from the stack of stackos between them. Trixie was biting her lips in concentration, and trying to pull a yellow bar sideways from the stack, and Lucifer said something I couldn’t make out right when she almost had it out. Trixie glared at him after she deftly let go of the bar before her huff of laughter could affect her. Trixie launched herself at Lucifer in mock outrage, easily landing on his back and locking his head in the crook of her little elbow speaking to him in his ear. Lucifer replied something and before long, they both collapsed in laughter.

I don’t care what Dan said, Lucifer is so good with Trixie, and it is obvious Trixie trusts him. She is always so excited and…_bubbly_ when Lucifer is around. I opened the door fully and cleared my throat, “Having fun?”

Both of them turned towards me in surprise, and Trixie hopped off Lucifer and ran straight into my arms. I picked Trixie up and looked as Lucifer lifts himself up from the floor. He smiled shyly at me, and I smiled back. 

“What are you doing up? Hmmm? Isn’t your bedtime like two hours ago?” It was pretty late in the night already, and I can only imagine what they got up to when I’m not here. I let Trixie wash up and waited for her to come back to the room so I can tuck her in.

“I’m sorry, Detective, I didn’t know her bedtime is over.” Lucifer seemed to be taking the blame for everything these days. Trixie knew her bedtime, she just took advantage of Lucifer’s ignorance, like every little kid knew how to do. Besides, it is a Friday and it is not really a big deal when the next day is a weekend. Lucifer frowned in worry when I didn’t respond, and just looked at him fondly.

“It’s fine, Lucifer.” I took his hand in mine, and hopefully reassured him. I didn’t want him to think everything he does could be wrong. He needs to build his confidence up around me, and be able to act as his own person. And for now, he likely thinks of himself as an extension of my thoughts. He does what I tell him to, and probably judge his own actions according to what he thinks I would approve. That’s too tiring a way to live a life, and I don’t want that.

Lucifer went into the kitchen to heat up my share of the shepherd’s pie while Trixie bounded back into the room, and climbed into bed. I tucked her in, settling her blanket over her, kissed her in the forehead. 

“Mommy?” She whispered.

“Yes Monkey?”

“Lucifer seems sad. Can you make him less scared?” I teared up at that. Sometimes Trixie is a lot more observant than other children her age, and so sensitive to other people’s emotions. 

“I’ll try Monkey. Good night.” I kissed her again, then walked out of the room. I thought Lucifer was relaxed and in a better mood when Trixie was around, but apparently, he still seemed sad to Trixie. How can I help? With his history of hurts, it seems like such a mounting task. How can I help him feel safe and loved. And he _is _loved. By Trixie, by Linda, by Maze, and…by me. 

I walked to the kitchen, and the fragrance I detected when I just came home is amplified and made me water. The heat from the dish Lucifer placed in front of me is making me realise how famished I am at the moment. I sat down opposite Lucifer, and started to dig in. 

I was focusing so much on my food, that I failed to notice Lucifer fretting over the the unwashed dishes, and the oven he used, and just compulsively cleaning everything. When I look up from the food finally, that was what I saw, and like everyone who was trying to figure their boyfriends out, I stared. He turned towards me and paused his actions when he saw me studying him, suddenly unsure. 

“Did I do something wrong, Detective?” Why is that the first question he ask? I smiled sadly at him, and that apparently spooked him, “I…whatever I did, if you tell me, I won’t do it again.” 

He said it with such conviction too! Even though he isn’t as scared as before, he still does nothing he thinks I would disapprove, and any sign of upset on my part immediately makes him think he did something wrong. It’s like he automatically thinks he is responsible for everything wrong in my life, and is ready to make amends or take whatever I throw at him to vent any negative emotions I have. 

“No, Lucifer. No, I just…Dan…he said some things, and I just…I can’t help but think he might be right.”

He positively growled, like lion on his territory _growl_, “What did he say?” 

“Nothing! Just that, it’s my fault he didn’t have time for Trixie, because I was working against everyone and causing more work for them. I mean, he might be right, I did cause a lot of paperwork and other stuff because of my obsession with Malcolm, what if it _was_ the reason he didn’t come around? It means I’m the reason Trixie hasn’t seen her father enough!”

I just kept on going and spiralling thinking more and more that I could be the the one to blame for the situation. But Lucifer…he disagree…_strongly._ He strode right up to me, took both my hands gently, kneeling before me and said to me, “Detective! You are not to blame! He would have found time if he wanted. Didn’t you find time even though you were investigating Malcolm? Didn’t you find time for every event Beatrice has had ever since she was born? Without fail? How could you do it, and Detective Douche struggles to find the time for even one day off? You even find time to help me! Detective! You are the best Detective, mother and friend this world could ever contain, you _have_ to believe that.”

“I don’t,” I told him, and smiled, “but you do, and that’s enough for me. Thank you, Lucifer.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reveal!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it is quite early in the story, but the reveal is needed for the rest of the plot. I hope you guys liked the way I wrote my reveal!

Dan the Douche is hardly the right person to judge a parent, especially one as good as Chloe Decker. He was never there, and he dare put that on the Detective’s shoulders! And he caused the Detective to doubt herself. Beautiful, intelligent, _good_ Detective Chloe Decker. _How Dare He!_

It wasn’t enough he caused the whole palmetto incident in the first place, taking the sides of the _bullies_ in the precinct when he _knew_ exactly what happened. It wasn’t enough he made the Detective think herself misguided and deluded and _crazy_, that he made her struggle. It wasn’t enough he caused her drop in her career, and had to live in her mother’s house. He was the cause of every bad thing in her life, and he makes her think it was her own fault. 

She is the most beautiful human being I know, and anyone who makes the Detective feel even remotely bad is a criminal. Douche is going to pay for this, I’ll make sure of it.

“That’s not enough! You have my faith, but what is that worth? Beatrice believes in you too, and Ella, and Linda, and Maze…to some extent…” She cannot think herself so…_mediocre_, but what caused the argument in the first place? Detective Douche is a douche, but he generally hides it pretty well. What caused the disagreement, that led to all of this?

Unless… “Is this because I’m here, Detective? Have I…caused this…argument?” He never liked me, nor my affinity with Beatrice. He said once that he didn’t want me in Beatrice’s life. Did I cause the Detective’s distress, indirectly or otherwise? 

“Oh no…Lucifer, it’s not you. He was being petty, and selfish. It’s not your fault I trust you to be with Trixie.” Here I am, trying to comfort her, and within minutes it became the opposite. 

“You’re right, Lucifer. He never was there even when we were married. Trixie was a surprise, but he treats her like a nuisance. He takes her for some weekends, but Trixie always came home with lesser energy and exuberance. And Palmetto haven’t happened yet then. It was _all him_.” She looked at me, and squeezed my hands, “You’ve made my day, Lucifer. Solved all my problems, been there for me. It’s new, but _good_.”

My face burned a little, then, and I stuttered, “R…Really?” She nodded.

“Did my text help today, Detective?” She smiled indulgently at my blatant and unskilful change of topic, and nodded again.

“You were _very_ helpful.” The heat behind her eyes made my barely cooled down cheeks burn straight up right away. Joy bubbled up in my chest as I thought about how I’ve been helpful. She leaned down to peck me on my lips, “A reward, to ensure continuous initiative, like how you did today.”

It is such a novelty that someone would ever look at me with such warmth, and I cannot help but get addicted to it when the Detective looked at me like that. I really hope I can keep that look on her face - the one that tells me I have done something right - for as long as I can. And the kisses, I’d like to earn as many of those as I can.

I’d really like to have an actual relationship with the Detective, but we cannot do that unless I tell her and _show her_ everything. My smile tightened, and my mood became solemn. I want to do this the right way, the way best for the Detective. Trust is at stake here, and I don’t want to risk that between us. I texted Maze earlier about taking Beatrice out for the day tomorrow.

It’s Friday, and the weekend is coming up, it’s the perfect time to show her who I really am. She needs to know, now more than before, when the bond around us is pulsing with the warmth that I instinctively just know is a very powerful force. 

I smiled back at the Detective with trepidation, “Detective, there is something you need to know about me.” I took a shaky breath, just now realising how my hands are shaking. The Detective flipped my hands over and ran her thumbs over the back of my palms soothingly. 

“What is it?” 

“Can…can I tell you in the penthouse tomorrow? Maybe after breakfast? I…I’d like Linda to be there when I tell you. Please? Maze can take Beatrice out for the day.” I’ll have to set this up carefully. And I have to make sure the Detective is affected by this knowledge as little as possible. I called Linda earlier in the day to arrange this, she was as shocked as I thought she would be. Hopefully her presence would alleviate some of the Detective’s fear when she see me.

I got some ropes from Amenadiel, a couple months ago, before the Detective was poisoned - it seemed like a lifetime away now - those they used to tie me up to the pillar with, so I could use it for some kinky sex. Well, I’ve found another use for it. 

The Detective only agreed softly, before resuming her meal, as we chatted light-heartedly before retiring for the night.

She let me lay in her bed again, like it’s a given that I sleep this close with her. I couldn’t sleep, but she must be feeling exhausted, for she fell deeply asleep the moment she closed her eyes and sighed. I stared at her face, memorising every detail. Tomorrow could make or break our relationship, and whatever happens, I know I will want to stay with her _always_, and if she wants me out of her life…

I took another shaky breath, and let it out slowly. If she wants me out, then I’ll just be somewhere she cannot see. She doesn’t have to be able to see me, as long as I can be with her in my own way.

I leaned close to her and kissed her on her eyebrows, the way she’d done for me, then reverently, with as much love I can muster, pecked her lightly on her lips.

“Whatever happens, I will always be there for you. _Please_ don’t hate me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I gazed at her all night. Her sleeping face is peaceful, and free of lines. The usual frown when she’s thinking, are missing, and all that’s left is her smooth skin. Her hair sprawled on her other side as her cheek leaned into my shoulder. I traced my finger from her forehead to her nose, tapping her on the nose before tracing my finger down to her lips. I leaned in to peck her on the lips again, like the many times I’ve already done throughout the night, swept her fringe behind her ear and stroke her cheek. 

I sighed and removed my arm from under her head carefully, making sure not to wake her, then washed up in the bathroom before moving to the kitchen to prepare our breakfast. I wanted the Detective to remember as many good things about me as possible.

I mixed the batter, cooked up the sauce, and cut up some fruits. Then I placed the things on the counter before going back into bed with the Detective to wait for her to wake up.

She wrinkled her nose right before she sneezed, in the adorable way a sexy Detective sneezes in the morning. She yawned and lifted her eyelids, and smiled warmly at me. 

“Good morning Mr Morningstar.”

“It’s always good when I’m with you, Detective.” I spoke right into her skin as I leaned in to kiss her forehead, “I hope you’re hungry, I made some pancakes, I hope you like them.”

“Love them. Thank you.” She pulled me into an embrace, a gift I will always remember on the morning I might screw everything up. I smiled into her shoulder, kissed her there, and pushed myself upright. She got up and into the bathroom. 

I walked into the kitchen, and was getting their pancakes ready when Beatrice bounded right into my legs. 

“Pancakes! I love you Lucifer!” I smiled, contented that she said that before I tell the Detective the truth. I picked her up - this might be the last time I’m allowed to touch her - and placed her on one the seats before placing a stack of pancakes before her.

I placed another set in front of the Detective’s usual seat, and started on my own plate as well. The Detective came soon after, and we had a pleasant, delightful breakfast, one I would remember for as long as I live. Maze came over to collect Beatrice, and the Detective and I went on our way to the penthouse.

Linda was already there, waiting by the elevator, and I led both of them in. The Detective was quiet, in a sombre manner, like she could somehow detect my emotions and just _knew_ I don’t know what to say to her right now. I turned towards her, and opened my mouth, but nothing came out. Sweet as she was, she told me we could do it another day. But we cannot, because I’ve placed so much responsibilities on her shoulder already, and my Father has placed even more, and the later I come clean, the more negative effects there would be on her life. I couldn’t let that happen to her.

“It’s fine Detective. I…I just wish…when you realise that I really am the monster…”

“Lucifer, there is nothing…”

“Detective _please_! If you get frightened, or…angry…please just remember, I have never lied to you, and I will _never_ hurt you. Please…could you just…remember that?”

“I know that, Lucifer.” The Detective, bless her, looked worried, “You’re worrying me, what’s going on?”

“I…I just…may I ask for a favour? Please?” I begged, this is something I must at least _think_ I have to tide me over whatever repercussions today’s reveal would entail, “Please don’t leave. If you’re mad or scared, you can do with me whatever you want. If you feel threatened, you can vent your frustrations on me. But please, don’t leave, please.”

“I promise, Lucifer. I won’t leave you.” She says that now…I didn’t want her to feel trapped though, so I told her it’s fine if she needs to go downstairs for a while, just maybe not too far. I looked at Linda, and she understood. She will stay with the Detective if she leaves the room.

I turned on the spot and grabbing the few lengths of rope I left on the glass coffee table, I tied my knees and ankles together then shot the other up to the beam in the ceiling, hanging it from the beam, and tying my hands up in front of me, then connecting the two ropes on my legs to my hands. I am quite adept at tying myself up securely, courtesy of my previous very active sexual activities, thank goodness. I could hop around, but that was about it.

“Lucifer! What are you doing!” The Detective closed the distance between us and reached to untie my hands. I pulled away from her, hoping a little with my tied feet, “please, indulge me Detective.”

Linda put her hand on the Detective’s arm, and nudged her a little backwards, “Let him, Chloe. He wants to do this for you.”

“Are you sure this is alright, Linda? What is he doing?” She looked stressed already, and I haven’t even started. I really, _really _hope she doesn’t hate me after today.

“It’s fine.” Linda said, and I confirmed, “Yes, I’m fine. Detective, please listen to me.” I waited until I have her worried attention.

“This rope is made in the heavens, and it will hold me even at my greatest strength. You are safe from me, and I am immobile. I _promise_ not to find a way to free myself unless you give me express permission. Detective, did you hear what I said?” I asked her, hoping against hope that she would remember that she was safe, _always safe_, around me. She nodded in silence, and I whispered one last time, “_Please _don’t hate me.”

I clenched my eyes shut, and let go of my glamour, feeling my face shift. I heard a gasp, and I opened my eyes to see the Detective staring back at me with fear in her eyes and her right hand over her mouth. I opened my mouth, and as soothingly as possible, “Detective…”

But she cut me off, “I…have to go.” She let out a heart-wrenching sob, and strode right into the elevator. A lump rose up in my throat. _Please_, please don’t leave. I could feel my eyes filling up swiftly, and I stared pleadingly at Linda.

“Let me get you free first.” She offered, but I shook my head as vehemently as possible, “I promised. Look after her, please Linda.” She looked at me a second longer, before turning and chasing after the Detective. 

And I let my tears fall. She fears me, and she cannot stand the sight of me, I shifted my face back. Even if there is the slightest chance of her coming back, I didn’t want her to see me with the horrifying face again. 

Please come back. Please come back. Please come back. Please come back.

I chanted the plea in my head as my tears flowed without control. I trembled as I thought what I could do to gain her favour back. Would she feel safer if I’m restrained permanently? Would she…she wouldn’t…nobody could feel anything other than fear or disgust at my face. Linda worked past it, but it was a traumatising week after I revealed my true form to her. I suppose…even if the Detective worked past it, staying in her life permanently would be out of the question. 

She might let me stay as her partner…or as a friend…or I can stop deluding myself. It’s not possible, it’s…hopeless…

What should I do? What _could _I do? How do I make this right again? I cannot survive without her, how do I go through the many _many_ millennium of my existence without her presence? I stood right in the middle of my penthouse, hands and legs still bound, feeling impossibly sorry for myself.

“_What_ have you done, Lucifer?” I raised my head, and saw Amenadiel, and though I didn’t hear him come in, I was too entrenched in my despair to be surprised at his arrival. I ignored him, more interested in wallowing in self pity. I just lost the light go my life, can’t he leave me alone?

But he apparently couldn’t _take a hint._ He started out on a rant about how I have jeopardised everything, how my actions have caused repercussions. That he has been lenient these past few months, but no more. I tuned him out and thought of the Detective again. I flitted through every sweet memory I have ever had with her, hoping to remember every detail. That is all I have to go on now, and if she wants to leave, who am I to stop her? I have caused enough problems in her life as it is, Amenadiel is right. I have endangered her, and Beatrice, and even the co-workers I’ve met in the precinct. 

And I felt the first stroke land on my lower back. I should fight back, I should escape, or at least protest. But all I could think of was how sorry I am for hurting the Detective, for causing her distress. For being the devil, for being…me…

Maybe I deserve this, the punishments, the whipping and isolation, the disgusted looks, the lack of acceptance. For how could anyone show me any positive emotions, when I don’t feel like I deserve them at all? 

I bit my lips as my brother continued his onslaught on my back and rear, and I did my best to stay silent, bound by my promise to the Detective, only to the Detective - not for fear of Amenadiel, or any of my other siblings - to not free myself from the restraints. 

I deserve this, I do, and if the Detective comes back, she’ll see me being punished, then maybe she’ll be convinced I’m sorry, and that I’ll do anything to make this right. I really will, so please, Detective, I’m sorry. Please come back…please come back…

And I screamed at the next stroke of the whip. 


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the reveal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a huge setback. The Detective's reaction and Amenadiel's timely punishment pushed all off Lucifer's confidence all the way out.

It’s true…everything’s true…Lucifer is…he’s…he never lied. Oh my God…God is _real_. The Devil, _the_ Devil, Angels…oh…my…god…

I walked out of the elevator on auto-pilot, going straight to the bar and slumping down on the stool. How can this be? How…what does this mean? 

Oh my god…

And his face…he’s the devil. He’s the devil! His contorted _horrifyingly_ painful face keeps coming up in my mind, and I couldn’t dismiss it. What is he doing here? _Why_ is he here? 

A hand landed on my forearm, and I jumped. Linda looked at me, and there was so much understanding and compassion in her eyes, that I couldn’t help but be lost. She knew, she _knew_. She pulled me into an embrace, and I went without protest.

“He’s still the same person, Chloe. He’s still Lucifer.” Except he’s not! He’s not _just_ Lucifer anymore.

“But…he’s the _Devil_. Linda, he’s _the_ devil! Why is he hanging around us? Why is he _here_? What does this _mean_?” Is the whole thing orchestrated? Was I a mere fling in a fraction of his life? Has this all been a lie?

“Chloe, I want you to think about what Lucifer has been telling you this whole day. What has he been emphasising? Again and again?” I was still wrapped in Linda’s warm arms, grounding me. And I hid within my mind as I refused to think about anything concerning Lucifer. But I couldn’t control my mind, for every word that he has said this whole day caught up to me. 

> _~~Please don’t hate me…~~_
> 
> _~~I will never hurt you…~~_
> 
> _~~I have never lied to you…~~_
> 
> _~~Please…don’t leave…~~_

I gasped. His face came up to my mind again. Only this time, his eyes were much more in focus, and the pain and hurt I saw in them was staggering. 

I left. After all his pleas and my own promises, I left him there without another glance at him.

“He…that he would never hurt me. That I’m safe with him.” I whispered into Linda’s shoulder. And the concern for Lucifer came back up again, battling against my fear of the unknown, and the perceived knowledge I have of the devil. 

Then it hit me, he was afraid of me, he put the control of his life in my hands. He gave me his free will. He…was whipped by his Father and Brother, and is terrified of my punishments. If what he was saying is real…that means…the lightning ropes, the Angel’s fire, his _fall_. 

I could feel my eyes widen in realisation, how I have hurt Lucifer. Devil or not, he is the sweetest man I have ever known, and he feared my reaction just as much as I feared losing Trixie. 

Then I heard the scream. 

Both Linda and I shook up straight, looking at each other in alarm. The agonising scream was continuously repeating, pulled out from the voice both of us are intimately familiar with. Someone’s hurting Lucifer, and if I get my facts right - this time around, at least - he’s the Devil. Anyone who can hurt him would have to be dangerous. 

But Linda gasped, “Chloe! He’s still tied up! We have to go to him! Now!” 

Instinct took over, and I pulled my gun as both of us raced to the elevator. As the doors separated, the scene before me shook me to the core. I raised my gun, “Stop! Step away from him!” 

Amenadiel jerked in his momentum, and stared at me in shock. Lucifer, still bound tightly by his wrists, knees and ankles hung laxly, and seemed barely conscious. His mouth was moving, but I couldn’t hear his words. His face was back to normal, and his hair wet with sweat. He was slightly trembling, and twitched every few seconds. 

“Detective Decker! What are you doing! Lucifer broke the rules, so he must be punished. I thought you understood that. You walked away.” I had to force the bile back down my throat at his words. I _did_ walk away, didn’t I? But what rules did he break? He told Linda, that couldn’t be part of the rules. I voiced my question.

“He told someone. That’s against the rules.”

Linda stepped forward, angrily gestured at herself, “What about me?” She seethed as she slowly walked toward Amenadiel, and I shadowed her. “He told me, why is that not against the rules?”

“It was, but I was already busy with Malcolm, so I didn’t have the time to administer his punishment. This time, I was free, and he was _right_ where I wanted him.” And he dared smirk at us, like he _enjoyed_ what he did. How could I not see this? That one of our friends could be this…demented. Let’s not forget he was supposed to be an a_ngel_. 

I kept my gun trained on him, but I suddenly was overcome with rage, and I wasn’t _really_ thinking straight, so I let my arms and gun down, and strode right up to him, and not giving him a chance to ask what I was doing, kneed him in the groin. He bent down with a groan - I suppose angels have balls too then - and I elbowed his bent head and kicked him in the stomach. 

“Leave!” I ordered, and his eyes widened. He looked at me, sitting undignified on the floor, then turned his head towards Lucifer, staring at him in shock. What is he _doing_? My patience ran out, and I gave him the command again, his eyes flicked back and forth between Lucifer and I, before unfurling a pair of wings right before me, and disappeared as I gasped in shock. _Wings…_

I stared at the space he was standing at for a while, before Linda’s shout for help made me come back to the present. I turned around, and saw Linda trying to untie the ropes. Her eyes were watering, and her voice was shaking. 

“Lucifer? Lucifer let me get you down okay? It’s going to be alright.” She soothingly tried to speak over her trembling voice. I wasn’t paying any attention to her though, because right in front of me, is the view of Lucifer’s battered back. His clothes were in shreds - he’s not going to be happy about that - and there were whip lashes littering his back from his shoulder blades to his thighs. I took a step nearer, and what I saw only chilled my bones further. The lashes were not only deep, but they were edged with scorch marks along their length. I could feel the sob escaping my throat as I remembered some of Lucifer’s words echoing in my mind. Particularly, the two words: _Angel’s Fire_. 

How it must have hurt, for him to endure such punishment. This is torture…not punishment. Even if he _is _the devil - and he isn’t - he still wouldn’t deserve this. I reached out and touched one of those lashes, and he jerked abruptly, and I pulled my fingers back. My eyes stung as I took his injuries in. 

“Chloe? Come _on_ Lucifer! Chloe! I can’t get him down!” Linda’s struggles on his front side caused Lucifer to swing around, and I stepped around him to see what the problem is. 

“What’s wrong?” I stared at the ropes, trying to calm my fast beating heart and took a look at the ropes around his wrists. It was winding around his wrists with a loop and a tail which he was holding. 

“I think the release is the tail in his hands, but he refuses to release it. Chloe, why don’t you talk to him? Tell him to let it go.” 

Dazed at the enormity of the whole surreal situation, I stared at her uncomprehendingly. “What?”

“Chloe! He _promised _you he wouldn’t find a way free of the ropes unless you gave him express permission to do so. You have to give him permission. Chloe, you _do_ have his free will in your hands. He takes it literally. _Please_, just talk to him.” Her tears dropped as she pled for Lucifer, and I opened my mouth at her outburst, but not knowing what I could say to that, I closed my mouth back and stepped closer to Lucifer. 

I reached my now trembling hand towards his face, and stroke his cheek, reminding myself repeatedly that this is _Lucifer_. His mouth was still moving, and I heard a whisper so soft, and I stepped even closer to hear what he was saying.

“Sorry…I’m sorry…don’t leave…sorry.” My tears overflowed as I realised how he must have felt throughout the whole ordeal. He was saying the same words over and over, and it only made my heart break that much further. What have I done to this proud man?

I spoke through the lump stuck in my throat, “Lucifer? Can you open your hands please?” 

And just like that, he released the bit of rope he was tightly gripping in his hands, and Linda immediately pulled on it, causing the ropes to all unravel by themselves. The amount of effect I had on him staggering me, that just my voice had him obeying my every command. 

He had tied himself in such a way that he could easily free himself with a slight pull of the rope he was holding. But he was bound by his promise to me, and stood right in this position as his brother _abused_ him. 

I held a sob in, and let Lucifer lean on me as Linda took to removing all the ropes twined around him. Lucifer was still mumbling softly, and I reached out to card his locks as soothingly as I could. 

When he was finally free, Linda hooked her arm under his other side, and we dragged more than carried him over to his bedroom, and onto his bed. We laid him down carefully on his side, trying to be mindful of the injuries on his back. We stood up and stepped back, and then shared a look. _Now what?_

“Does he have bandages in here?” Linda asked, and I shook my head unsurely. I took a deep breath, then started to compartmentalise. Priorities are Lucifer’s injuries and his health. We’ll have to deal with the world-shattering revelation later. 

“Okay, Linda, why don’t search for bandages, and I’ll try and get his clothes off him. Is there anyone we can call for help? Someone…someone not from…someone like him, that we can trust?” 

“I suppose…Maze would do. She’s a demon…” I started at that particular information, then nodded at her as she looked at me questioningly, holding up her phone. She left to call Maze and look for the bandages I asked for, and I looked over Lucifer’s back. I bit on my lower lip, trying my hardest to keep my sobs at bay, and tried to lift his shirt up from his back. He whimpered at my action, his mumbling finally stopped. His trembles intensified and his breaths became less short quick breaths and more long deep ones. 

I shushed him and carded my hands through his hair again, rubbing his neck as my hands came down, and looked around for ideas. I need to remove the shirt, or we cannot bandage his wounds, but his shirt was practically melded into his skin, and every pull I caused made him gasp and writhe a little. 

“P…please just pull the shirt off, Detective.” He suddenly whispered. Has he been awake this whole time? I had thought he was safely unconscious, and that I had spared him the conscious endurance of the pain, but apparently, he was awake. He quietly tolerated my probing and poking and pulling until he finally couldn’t stand it anymore. 

“Lucifer? You’re awake? How are you feeling?” He chuckled weakly, “I’ll be fine, Detective. The wounds will scab in a few hours. Only the pain will remain, the whipping wasn’t meant to indispose me, only to make me regret my actions. If…if you want to go, I’ll be fine, Detective.” I couldn’t hold it in, I literally sobbed as I clenched my hands gripping his shirt. Why did he have to do that? To always give me an out, to diminish my responsibility for the turn of events. I _promised_ I wouldn’t leave, yet he just conveniently overlooked that transgression like it was nothing! And then this happened to him, while he was trying to keep _his_ promise. What does that make me? Weak, selfish, a _hypocrite_. Does he expect me to leave still? Even though I came back? That _has_ to count for something, right? 

“Detective!” Lucifer turned at my sobs, and groaned as he did, and I tried to push him back down, but he turned over fully and faced me, obviously trembling with the effort. 

“Detective, I…if I’ve done something wrong, you know you can deal with me as you wish. It…it was never my attention to distress you so. I know…that I must have scared you, if…if you need to…be away from me…”

How could he still be so sweet, and yet make me feel so much worse at the same time. After the whole ordeal, he cares more about my tears than his completely battered back. I pulled him as gently as I could into my embrace, cutting him off in the process, and burying my face in the crook of his neck I sobbed quietly. 

He is the devil, and that means God is real, and Angels are real, and everything he said is real. He fell from heaven, had ruled hell for…_a while_…and that’s why there hasn’t been any information I could find on him. Coming to terms with all of that should be so much harder, Linda took a while, as I’ve heard, but to be this accepting of the situation is beyond even my ken. 

But I feel this…warm feeling…in my chest, like the certainty that he would never hurt me, that when he spoke, he has never lied, that he loves me. I can _feel_ his love for me filling the whole of my body, and how can I resist that. If this is a manipulation, if this is how he played with his conquests, then he has staked his free will in it, and endured a lot of pain for it. This conquest would have to at least be important enough for him to be _this_ persistent.

I had another realisation at this moment, and my dying sobs renewed. His abuse was from the hands of God…and as much as I was angry, how does one punch _God_ in the face? And his siblings are Angels! What about his mother? God had a wife? Oh god, his childhood is so depressing I am starting to think abused kids here in the normal plane of earth have been in heaven! He was casted out - I’ll have to ask him the reason for that sometime - of his own home, had his name changed, and then…_fell_. So _that’s _why he was never adept at dealing with people on a normal platonic level. _That’s_ why he could pull the darkest desires out of people. 

I tightened my hands around him, and I heard a groan. I didn’t register it though, much less react to it. My thoughts continue to run as a muffled conversation happened around me, and deciding not to let that register as well, I buried myself further into his neck. 

I realised I might be hyperventilating, but it was preferable to being catatonic, so I’ll take it any day. Experiencing what I have this past few hours, this is a perfectly _courageous _reaction, and damn it but I am doing perfectly well, thank you very much. I bit into his neck, wanting to vent my frustrations, and for a little while, forgetting his highly disturbingly severe injuries. 

He shifted a little, then gasped and froze. I thought it was because of the bite, so I ignored it for I’d prefer to sob into his shoulders and hide from the world. But he shifted again, and gasped again, and I growled into his ear, “Will you _stop moving_?” 

He froze mid-shift, and literally held himself in position, apparently prepared to stay like this until I release him. I sighed, and straightened myself, “Lucifer, you don’t have to listen to me. I was being unreasonable, you can tell me that.”

He visibly deflated, bowing his head in contrition at my rebuke. I wasn’t planning to be stern, but I guess it came out that way. How is he the devil, and still let me walk all over him? 

“…I was just uncomfortable, Detective. I…my backside is hurting…and sitting like this is…” he glanced at me through his messy locks, and then quickly lost eye contact with me, “May I lie down…please?”

If I am ever unsure of my control over him, I am sure of it now more than ever. He is the devil, but he is asking my _permission_ to lie down so he can alleviate the pain he’s feeling. Me. Just normal, little old _me_. I balked at my thoughtlessness. This whole time I have been reeling in my own spiral of emotions, and I have spared no thought on Lucifer’s condition. It was then when I realised how selfless in regards to me Lucifer really is. He has to be unbearable pain, but he let me hang on him as I sobbed my heart out. I nodded my head, and he shot me a _grateful_ look - this is so messed up - before gingerly laying back on his bed facing down. He shouldn’t be grateful for something so simple, so _basic_. 

I studied his back, then after helping him out of his sleeves, gripped the collar of his shirt, and taking a deep breath, I _pulled_. At one shot, I pulled the shirt away from his back, eliciting a cross between a whimper and a scream. His back muscles tightened, and he collapsed in an agonised groan and deliberately controlled breaths. His head carefully placed on his pillow turned towards me, looking at me with an emotion I never thought he would feel at such a time. 

_Content_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the support guys!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry guys, for taking so long. I have been a little bit busy with work and other stuff. I hope you guys like this chapter. There's some information about the plot I'm going with, but the next chapter will have a lot more details about them. I just wanted to mention, Lucifer seems like a little scared kitten right now, but his protective, masculine, devil side will come out eventually. Especially when he's not around just Chloe. And especially he's around someone who threatens Chloe.

My back is burning, and as I regained my senses from the delirium I fell in during the whipping Amenadiel was giving me, I felt a slight pull on my back and a sharp pain right to my core. I couldn’t help but whine a little, and tried really hard to control my breathing. I took deep breaths in and out, and felt a warm hand moving up and down my back, pulling at something and causing the same sharp pain as before. 

I took stock of my senses, and my surroundings, and realised I was on my bed, not in my ropes. For a moment, I panicked at the thought of not making good on my promises, but I realised just as quickly that the gentle hand on my back belonged to the one person I would have done anything for. 

I felt her move to another spot on my back, and I just know what she is going to do. I quietly gulped as I prepared myself for the sharp pain I knew was coming. I shifted as little as I could at the pain, unable to hold in a painful gasp. 

As much as I’d like to keep the Detective ignorant of my consciousness, I don’t really want to go through more of these bouts of sharp pain. I begged weakly for the Detective to just pull the shirt away in one move. I meant to spare myself the unnecessary pain, but instead, I only caused the Detective shock, and distress. She was concerned about how I was feeling, and that was the last thing she should be concerned about. 

She just saw my face and got the biggest revelation of all time, she should be taking care of her mental health, not me. I explained to her how it wasn’t something to worry about, that whatever they used to punish me, it will not be something that will leave me paralysed for long. I told her that the lashes would scab in a few hours, that only the pain will remain. I wouldn’t be hurt enough to warrant any worry or concern. I told her she could leave if she needed to, to “recalibrate her mind” if she needed.

But she shocked me senseless when she started outright _sobbing_. What did I do? What did I say? I pushed myself up, ignoring the painful way my back’s lashes made their protests - loudly - and tried my best to apologise for whatever I’ve done.

I told her that I was sorry, that if I’ve upset her in anyway, she could do with me as she will, as long as it is what she desires, she should know I would do my best to achieve it. But she pulled me into her warm embrace, shoulders shaking as she sobbed into the crook of my neck. I froze as she did that, not wanting to do anything that will make her pull away again. It seemed like such a miracle that I could see her again after I showed her my face, that she would willingly stay with me and _touch_ me, that is so far beyond what I expected I would have. 

Anything that might jeopardise my current good luck is not something I would let myself do. So I froze, making sure to stay as still as I could, not wanting any unwanted action on my part to end this perfect moment. But I overestimated my threshold for pain, because my back started to flare shortly, and sitting on my very bruised and burnt backside is not helping at all.

She tightened her arms at a particularly heart clenching sob, and I couldn’t help but groan at the pressure on my back. I tried very hard to stay still, to keep her as comfortable as possible, but she wasn’t going to make it easy for me.

Linda and Maze came blazing through the elevator in rage, Maze angrily cursing as she stormed towards me and Linda following, balancing some bandages and medicine in her arms. I told them to leave and come back later, preferably a lot later, and to give the Detective some time to come to terms to everything. Maze knew that I wouldn’t be crippled by the injuries I’ve obtained, so she was easier to handle. But Linda was adamant on medicine and bandaging, so I told her to leave the things on the floor beside my bed.

My weight has a taken a toll on my ass, and the pain blossomed and spread as the lashes made their presence known. This is going to be a bitch to deal with, seeing as the wounds heal in a few hours, but will still retain the pain just as if the wounds are still there. The worse thing is, you cannot bandage it, or treat it, for there will be no wounds to treat at all. Sometimes, I think I would prefer a normal whipping to this torture.

She bit into my neck, as I shifted a little, trying to relieve some weight on my ass, and I gasped at both the unexpected sting on my neck and the shockingly unbearable pain on my bottom. I froze, hoping to stop the pain from spreading further, and tried to hold my position for as long as possible. 

It has been almost an hour in this position, and keeping it seemed to get harder and harder. I couldn’t help but try and shift my body weight again, but the Detective got impatient with me and scolded me. _That_ made me freeze like a Medusa’s gaze. I resolved to stay in this halfway position. Most of my weight is leaning on my left buttock, and the pain is just going to get sharper and sharper, and I can just imagine what sort of pain I will be in if I stayed like this for any longer. But I didn’t dare move now, not after she scolded me, so I stayed and waited.

The Detective sighed and pull away, and I just _knew_, I have messed this perfect moment up.

“Lucifer,” she said, “you don’t have to listen to me. I was being unreasonable, you can tell me that.” But she wasn’t being unreasonable, she deserves every comfort I can give. I should have dealt with the pain like a good devil, and stayed still. I didn’t want her to think I wasn’t willing to endure the pain, or think about her needs, so I hesitatingly tried to explain my actions, hoping she would deem my reasons enough. 

“I was just uncomfortable, Detective. I…my backside is hurting…and sitting like this is…” I paused right here, unsure how to continue, it felt too much like an excuse. I continued with a request instead, “May I lie down…please?”

For a moment I thought I was going to be scolded some more, I peeked at her face, not sure I wanted to know if she looked angry or disappointed, and hoped she could make this one concession. She nodded and I felt so relieved and grateful for her leniency. At least she hasn’t started punishing me yet. I know that whatever promises she made before she knew I was the Devil would have to be forfeit now. I don’t blame her, I would want to eviscerate the Devil too if I was her, especially a devil who has caused so much trouble. 

I shot her a grateful look and lied down on my stomach, giving her access to my back so she could pull the shirt off like she wanted to before. She helped me out of the sleeves, then holding on to the collar of my shirt, she took a deep breath and I braced myself, and she pulled the shirt right up. The pain was _agonising_. The burn started out right at the top of my upper back where she started the pull, and followed the shirt down to the rest of my back. I screamed and arched my back in reaction, no amount of brace could help me through that. This is the first time I experienced a whipping with my clothes still on, and I think that from now on, whatever kind of punishment I receive, I would _beg_ to have my clothes removed first. 

I collapsed back down on my bed, and even though I was afraid of what I would find in the Detective’s face, I just had to see her. So I turned my head towards her and laid on my pillow looking at her. She didn’t look mad, or disappointed, or even the least bit upset with me. In fact, I could almost imagine that the frown on her face depicts her concern and worry for me as she fretted over me. And it was all I could do to stop the bursting sensation in my chest from bubbling out in laughter. 

“Where’s Linda? She was supposed to get bandages, and call Maze.” She questioned and the barely risen joy was squashed down, giving way to the anxiety that rose up in my throat. I didn’t know if my unconsulted decision to send them out would be met with disapproval or not. I looked down on the sheets, picking at the cloth.

“I…I’m sorry Detective.” It could never be wrong to start with an apology, “I just…you were distressed, and I thought you might need more time…so I told them to leave the room for a while…” My voice became softer and softer and then trailed off as I saw from the corner of my eyes her hands clenching tighter and tighter. She must be angry with me, and I got scared. 

Whatever she does to me, it would be difficult to withstand just after the whipping I went through. Even an erotic spanking would be torture right now. I kept my eyes on the bed, trying to keep my demeanour as submissive and meek as possible. I suspect her presence has amplified the pain I’m feeling, and provoking her seemed like a dumb thing to do. 

She raised the clenched hand that I had in my sights, and I felt more than saw her hand reach towards me. I kept myself still in anticipation of her strike, I was sure she would either slap me or pull my head back. I clenched my eyes shut, but only a warm sensation at the back of my head came. A tingling sensation followed the warmth down to the back of my neck, and to my right cheek.

“Lucifer, this is a huge shock.” Understatement of the universe, Detective. “But whatever you are, _whoever_ you are, you’re still Lucifer to me.”

My breath hitched as I realised what she is saying. Could I still have this? The intimacy we have established these last few days, will I still be allowed to keep it all?

She continued with a soft, low voice.

“And I _trust_ you, Lucifer. You have to know that I do. So don’t do this, don’t do this to yourself, or let anybody else do this to you. If you must, think of it this way. You’re mine, and no other person should have the access to your body like I do. So you have to protect yourself. Do you understand me, Lucifer? Do you hear me?”

I couldn’t tell if she was angry with me for allowing Amenadiel to go at it on me, or if she was worrying about me and my injuries. She sounded a little disappointed, and upset, it didn’t sound like a good tone at all. I shuddered at the thought of her being unsatisfied with my behaviour. 

“Yes Detective.” I sighed into the pillow, feeling exhausted from all the events that led to this moment today.

“Okay, Lucifer. You can rest now. I’ll be here when you wake up, don’t worry.” I let my eyelids tentatively close at her promise, feeling apprehensive at her promise, but unable to resist.

* * *

I opened my eyes at the bight white light in my face, stretching as I got up from the bed. My head felt heavy, like a fog has come over me. 

“Hello, my son.”

I squinted my eyes, but nothing came up except for the white light. It was only the voice, and I couldn’t tell who it belonged to. 

“Hello?” I spoke into the light. I felt more than saw a hand, almost tangible, stroke me against my left cheek. I turned into the feeling, somehow knowing this being is trustworthy, close, _family_. 

“I love you.” It was soft, and warm, and said right by my ear. Then the presence left, I could feel it getting further and further, and I tried so hard to hold on to it, but all I got was a whisper, “Cherish your bonded.”

My back of my eyes stung as the fog in my head got heavier and heavier, and I fell back down into the bed.

* * *

When I opened my eyes next, there was a muffled conversation I couldn’t make sense of yet. I sniffed and buried myself further into the pillow, and groaned a little at the pain from the motion. The conversation paused, then started up again, but by this time, I was alert enough to understand what they were saying.

“You’re going to have to stay with him, I dropped Trixie off at Daniel’s. She should be fine until Lucifer can go home with you.” They were discussing what to do with me then. I didn’t want to trouble the Detective, but if Maze is the one making the request, I don’t have to look a gift horse in the mouth. I wanted to be near the Detective for as long as possible. I deepened my breathing, hoping to appear asleep. 

“Yes Chloe. He depends on you too much to be alone right now. And after all of that _rubbish_, this situation is beyond stressful. I think you should stay too.” That’s Linda, _dear_ Linda, always on my side.

“I’m just worried that my presence might slow his healing down. You guys said I make him vulnerable. What if I made it worse?” You wouldn’t make it worse. Nothing could get worse when you’re there.

Maze knew the truth, “Trust me, Decker. He would rather be in pain, then be away from you.” 

There was a pause, before a sigh and the Detective’s voice sounded again, “Alright then. His wounds have all closed before you all came back, so I didn’t bandage them. But he did say something about the pain remaining regardless. How long will the pain last?”

“Probably for a few weeks. It’ll last until the time they would have healed normally. Decker, just…take care of him…or kill him, whatever.” I almost snorted. Dear Mazikeen still has trouble expressing her concern over me, but a better friend I would never find. I then heard footsteps going further from me, and the ping of the elevator door opening. 

“Okay. Anything else I should know in Angel-Devil grooming?” She sounded amused. Linda laughed a little, and told her to explore before walking out as well. 

I heard her walk towards me, and sit down on the edge of my bed behind me. She reached out and stroked my hair, then moved her hand to the back of my neck, rubbing it in the soothing, comfortable _tender_ way that makes me drown in her touch.

“You can stop pretending now.” I jerked my head a little at her words, grimacing in chagrin as I realised she must have known all along. Eavesdropping is not an acceptable behaviour, I knew, yet I couldn’t resist. This is why nobody has the patience to deal with me. I couldn’t even respect the one person I hold closest to my heart! 

This whole time I have been basking in her presence, letting myself fall into a sense of complacency. I dared to think that since she came back, she would stay. I should have tried harder, become better, let her see that being a devil doesn’t mean I’m bad. That I can be good for her, and that my free will, will always be with her hands.

I offered my apologies. Many many apologies, swearing in my heart that I will do anything she asks, anything she desires, as long as she would keep me by her side. And if she ever lets me into her life again, I must strive to be on my best behaviour. 

Then that means I must follow the rules. Rules even angels wouldn’t find fault in. That means respect, and deference, and obedience. I can do that. I have done that before. The Detective is not as strict as my father, or my siblings, but it doesn’t mean I shouldn’t restrain myself. I shouldn’t have taken advantage of her leniency. If being a devil means to be bound for the rest of my life, the Detective is the best person to hold my leash. 

I turned my head into my pillow again, unable to hold her gaze, and unwilling let her see my face. I must be so ugly to her now, even if she is here, she must be feeling so disgusted with me. I felt a sob tear through my body, feeling sorry for myself. Why must I be such a failure? Why can’t I be good enough? Why, when the Detective finally, _finally_ lets me in and treats me like I’m an essential portion of her life, do I have to mess this all up? Amenadiel was right, I deserve the pain. I need it to remind myself never to take this for granted. 

For whatever reason she came back, whatever reason she’s willing to touch me now, I _know_ she literally has the power to destroy the world now. For I know what I am _not_ willing to lose, and if she asks me to, I would set my army through the earth and stomp everyone out of existence at her command. Even if she betrays me, even if she hurts me. For I’ve hurt her first, and disappointed her, and if my suffering is what she desires, then I will suffer. I must make sure she never has a reason to leave me. I must make sure she has a reason to let me stay.

_Forever._


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you guys don't get confused! Lucifer's dad did not help him at all, is all I'm gonna say. Who he dreamt is not God, it is someone else:)
> 
> I hope you guys like where this is going so far!

Linda, Maze and I were discussing if I should stay with Lucifer, when I heard his breathing rate change. Being a cop gave me instincts and observation skills no other person would have, and one of them is to determine remotely if a person is awake or not. 

He instantly controlled his breathing, but that one second of discrepancy gave it away already. When we were done discussing, I went over and sat beside him. I reached out and stroked his head a little, stopping to rub the back of his neck just the way I know he likes it. He preened subconsciously, and I told him to stop pretending. 

I really thought we were making progress the previous day. He was terrified of me before, and then I promised him to never punish him, and he seemed to believe me. I thought the situation was controlled, _handled_, it turns out I was overly optimistic. Whatever happened this time has set him way back, and it is worse than ever now.

One small revelation that told him of my knowledge that he was awake sent him panicking and gasping in apologies. He frantically turned himself over to face me, kneeling on the bed and bowing his head. He was repeating the words “sorry”, “I didn’t mean to” and “I won’t do it again” over and over again. The worse of it is, before he would tremble before me in fear of repercussions and punishments, now he seemed to be expecting it. He was still as stone, even as I can _feel_ his rising panic, and I just _know_ he is anticipating a blow from me, and is just lying there waiting for it.

I do feel odd however, for his rising panic has somehow caused a ball of anxiety in my own stomach. And the longer I flustered and considered various courses of actions, the more uncollected I felt. Is he influencing me somehow? 

I reached over to his face, but when I saw him, I couldn’t help the sorrowful moan. He had his eyes clenched shut, as if anticipating a slap, and his hands were in front of him, clutching the sheets like his life depended on him. I landed my hands on his cheeks, lifting his face up so he could look at me, and I studied his features. He gulped and stared right back at me, his eyes flickering to the side frequently, as if he didn’t dare make eye contact. 

“It’s okay Lucifer, I’m not mad. Don’t worry about it.” I leaned over to kiss him on the forehead, and spoke against his skin. I sat back down, and let my hands fall over his hands, pulling one of them to my lap and holding it there. Lucifer’s eyes watered at that action, and sniffed, bowing his head once again.

“Hey, what’s wrong? I’m here, I’m not going anywhere, see?” I tried to reassure him as well as I could. He must be so overwhelmed now, having been through torture no one should ever go through.

“Yes Detective. Thank you.” He responded, and all I could think about, is how he felt the need to thank me for just…_staying. _“I…I was just wondering, if I could…maybe…see Beatrice? Just a little while! I…I won’t hurt her! I promise! I just want to see her, and explain to her…about me. I’m just hoping I could tell her myself. Y…you could tie me up if you want, to make sure I don’t…”

My tears fell at the suggestion, and he cut himself off, only to replace his words with more apologies.

“I’m sorry! Please, detective, I won’t say another word about it anymore! I won’t! I’m sorry!” He said, but whatever he said couldn’t take away what I’m sure I’ve inferred from his words. He somehow believes I don’t trust him, after me saying just yesterday that I did. He thinks I might see him as a danger. And at the instance he saw me upset, he immediately backs down, once again letting me see how he’s allowing me to walk all over him without resistance.

I have to let him know, to let him _see_, that I do trust him, and that he can still be safe. Safe from _hurt_, safe from _rejection_, safe from _abandonment_. 

“Lucifer,” I choked out the words, “I told you before I will not punish you, do you remember?” He focused his big wide eyes at me, and nodded once.

“I will tell you again, and as many times as you need me to. I love you Lucifer. I _love_ you! I will never punish you, I will never leave you, and I don’t care who or what you are, devil or not, you are _my_ Lucifer, and I love_ you_. Do you understand me, Lucifer?” I paused, waiting for his answer. Just like the previous time I said anything with such conviction, he stared at me uncomprehendingly, not really processing the depth of my feelings. I’m a little bit more patient now, and the word “gently” keeps popping into my head every few seconds, making it impossible to be impatient or rough in any way regarding Lucifer.

So I gently squeezed his hands, and asked again, “Do you believe me, Lucifer?” This time, I literally felt a gust of wind around the both of us, like it was swirling and enveloping us. Although it was weird, for I didn’t see the bed sheets moving in the air current or anything similar, I certainly can still feel the wind surrounding us, closing in on us.

Lucifer’s breaths shallowed, and he stared intently at me. He squeezed my hands back, and a gurgling noise came out from his mouth. I could feel a stab of disbelief in my own heart, as I watched his jaw slowly opened and just…hung. Something is going on here, something he could see, and I couldn’t. I furrowed my eyebrows in thought, and sweet Lucifer finally responded in his characteristic manner.

“Yes Detective.”

I felt another stab of disbelief, and a shot of joy right in the centre of my stomach, and then I finally _finally_ realise, these feelings _weren’t_ mine. Where are they coming from? 

“Detective?” He called me, I hummed in response, “_Thank you_.” 

He put so much conviction in his words that I got the feeling he wasn’t thanking me for anything I could think of. I hummed in question - I was too tired mentally to respond appropriately, and I felt that my voice might break the tranquility of this moment - and he cautiously shifted into a lying down position. I stopped him just as he was putting his head down, getting hold of his head and guiding it onto my lap. He froze a little, in the awkward position he was in just before he laid his head down, then slowly, as if testing my willingness, placed his head onto my thighs and sighed. 

He had his arms circling my body, but not touching, I put my hand on his head, and the other on his neck, and he snuggled into my legs before starting his story.

“I was made different, Detective.” He started, but I stopped him before he could go on.

“You don’t have to tell me Lucifer. If you don’t want to…” I trailed off at his adorable nudging into my stomach. He sighed.

“I want to… please?” 

“Okay.” I whispered. And he continued.

“Ever since I came into existence, my Father has been stricter with me than any other sibling I had. For the same transgression, Amenadiel would get a stern talking to while I would get a whipping. I’ve seen my mother hugging Uriel, or Michael, even Gabriel, but she has never hugged me once. I tried everything I could to please them both, I _really_ did, but they were never satisfied. They never said they loved me or anything like it, but they have told me what a disappointment I turned out to be. But I didn’t understand _why_! _They_ made me, they could have made me however they want, but they made me like _this._ So I rebelled, said I didn’t want to be whipped anymore, that I wanted to just leave. My father agreed, so he told all my siblings that I wasn’t on board with their ideals anymore, and they all chased me out of my home. They said I was only fit for hell, that they would make sure I’m unwelcome in any other places but hell. So I stayed in hell, and I really _really_ tried to ride it out there. I laid in the fires of hell for thousands of years, paralysed by the injuries they’ve inflicted on me when they chased me out, unable to move, and just burning and burning. And it hurts _so much_ all over…and when I was finally able to move, I had to fight my way to safety. The demons there just weren’t ready for a leader at all. It was years and years of fighting, tirelessly, _exhaustingly_, and there were points where I just wanted to give up. I stopped fighting, and let them get at me, hoping they could just _put me out of misery_. But every time I was almost destroyed, I _miraculously_ survived. I thought he might let me go, because why would he keep healing me just before I died. I thought that if I followed his rules, suffered enough as a punishment, if I showed him I could be _good_, that he might forgive me, and let me go. But I was trapped in hell, and tortured by whichever demon got a hold on me until I managed to escape, only to be captured again. My father healed me every time I was close to relieve, and made me go through the agony again and again. He must _hate_ me. So I finally fought to the top, and emerged as king. Then I found Earth, the one place he has forbidden all his children to interfere with, and then I found _you._” 

I felt the muted feeling of contentment in the bottom of my stomach, and immediately identified Lucifer’s feelings. This is a new development, being able to feel what he is feeling. Is he able to feel my emotions too? I realise I am being way too calm in this whole situation, but it’s like I expected this, like I was born for this. It felt natural, _familiar_, and entirely too hard to explain. But everything is inexplainable these days, what’s one more thing? 

I stroked his cheek lightly, memorising his face with the tips of my fingers, and his eyelids fluttered. I sighed, and I couldn’t help but give him a teasing “It’s a good thing you’ve met me, then. I’ll save you, be your hero. You’re lucky.” 

He smiled a little at my words, snuggled into my stomach and thighs a little more, rubbing his face into my shirt, and softly agreed with me with a sweet “Mm-hmm. That I am, Detective.”

“Lucifer? Why do you give me your free will? Why not keep it?” I asked. I had to, it was nothing I imagined Lucifer would ever want to do. If I am holding him here with me against his will…I don’t want that for him.

He mumbled something that sounded almost like: _he was gonna take it, _before his breathing deepens again. 

Everything that he’s told me tells me one thing, that he was the only one going through all the punishments in his family. His father, _GOD_, actively sought to torture him, for absolutely ridiculously reasons. His mother didn’t show him any affections. He was tortured, and alone. But _why_! That was the million-dollar question. Why is he the only one vilified, he couldn’t be the Devil when he was the Angel he used to be. The worst thing he did was pranking, and it was harmless pranks. Don’t get me started on the “pranks” Amenadiel pulled on him, or the scapegoating Gabriel used him for. He was the punching bag, and they used him extensively for that. Again, _why_? 

I bent down and kissed his forehead, swiped his curly locks away from his face, and studied his features. His face was horrible when he showed me, but after knowing the story…he was burnt for thousands of years. How much agony must it have been? And to not be allowed to heal fully before having to fight and survive? He has gone through so much. I looked at his back now, and his previously marred back is now flawless with soft skin. He does heal fast. I swiped my hands along his spine, having to touch the area before allowing myself to believe he’s healed. He let out a pleased soft growl at my action, and I stared at him for a few heartbeats. I stroked his back again, and there it is, he is _purring_. I bent down and kissed him again, then ran my hands through my hair length to swiftly comb it back before going back to his spine stroking. I saw a strand of my hair stuck between my fingers, but before I could remove it, it starts glowing and giving out bright, white lights and it starts enveloping Lucifer in it. 

Lucifer let out a groan - like the ones I let out during a particularly good and satisfying massage - and arched his back in a stretch, before collapsing again, all while he was still asleep. What was that? What happened? Since when did my hairs _do that_? 

I hovered my palm over his back, uncertain what to do. I slowly, hesitatingly, placed my palm flat on his back again, and his warmth underneath my palm throbs along my pulse, and suddenly, knots in my back that I didn’t know I was feeling was released. I gasped.

I am now sure of two very strange, and very unbelievable things. One, I can feel everything Lucifer feels, though with much less intensity. So his emotions, and his pain, are what I have been feeling this whole time. Two, I can heal people…apparently. 

I wrapped my arms around Lucifer, gently as I could, and just sat breathing in his scent. This is all strange, and new, and ridiculously convenient for me, but I’ll take whatever I can, if it means Lucifer feels less pain. 

Lucifer let out a questioning whine in his sleep, and I shushed him, giving him a peck in his hair, and told him everything’s alright. Because everything will be okay, if I have anything to say about it.

I need to figure out what to tell Trixie, _how much_ to tell Trixie. She’s such an intuitive child, and I don’t want Lucifer to think I was ashamed of him. He has had enough of that in his life. 

I’ll bring him home tomorrow, let him rest in my bed, and then talk to Trixie. I don’t think I should let Lucifer out of my sight anytime soon. Preferably forever. I should be shocked at my willingness to commit to a relationship with Lucifer, but whatever he is, he is sweet and caring with me, and that’s all I really need. He’ll do right by me, and I will strive to do the same for him.

If he confirms that he is free of pain, we’ll go to work together tomorrow. I’ll show him he has someone in his corner, and that he doesn’t have to be alone. I’ll have to keep an eye out on his brother, or any of his siblings for the matter, and keep him from getting beaten like that ever again. 

This time, he was bound by his promise to stay in his binds. Next time, he will have a blanket permission - I can make it a command if I have to - to protect himself from _any_ harm, or I _will_ get angry. 

So friends, allies, Trixie. I can do that. I can _so totally_ do that. 

I looked down at Lucifer, his hands has subconsciously winded around my torso, when before he didn’t dare touch me, in sleep he obviously just wants to be close to me. I’m sure if it doesn’t make me look stupid, I would be gushing at how adorable he looks. In fact, I’m already gushing in my head. I giggled to myself, covering my mouth with both my palms automatically to muffle my laughs. I tapped my index finger on his nose, and he wrinkled it in protest. I grinned and pecked him on his lips lightly. 

I carefully repositioned him onto the pillows, then lied down beside him, before pulling his head back into my chest. I wrapped the blanket over both of us, before letting my eyes close. We will be okay, we will be fine. 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long this time guys!!! I hope you like this chapter!

I woke up instantly feeling the comfortable warmth wrapped around me, particularly around my head and neck. I snuggled into the warmth, and the source shifted a little. I whined in protest, not wanting to let it go. I slipped my arms around the source, and squeezed harder so it couldn’t escape.

A chuckle sounded slightly above me, and I jerked awake. I opened my eyes and saw the Detective’s chest right in front of me, my face was buried in it, and I flickered my eyes up to her face. She looked amused, and her arms are wrapping around my head and neck. Her legs are entwined with my own legs, and I could only stare disbelieving at her smile.

“It’s a little too tight, Lucifer. Maybe loosen your arms a little?” She said bemusedly. I started at that, and instantly retrieved my arms around her. I swallowed and lowered my sight, unable to meet her eyes. I could feel the heat in my cheeks blossoming, and I didn’t dare move for fear of making her more uncomfortable.

She shifted nearer, and placed a kiss right on my forehead, fringe and all, and then patted my cheek.

“Come on, we’re going home today. Do you feel any pain?” She said. Home? We’re going back to her house? A lump grew in my throat as I realised what that meant. She’s allowing me into her house after all that has happened? Even if my back hurts like hell, I wouldn’t mind. Speaking of which…my back felt _amazing_. None of the expected ache, none of the frayed sting I should be feeling. Did my brother come back to heal me?

I rejected that thought almost right away. He hasn’t done it before in the millennium we’ve known each other, why would he start now? So how did it happen? I wasn’t about to complain though. If this is my father’s doing, then whatever. My free will is with the Detective, he has no hold on me whatever he does.

I shook my head in response to her question, and she smiled in relief. She untangled her body from mine, and went into the bathroom. I stared at her leaving back, unable to believe my fortune. She did promise she wouldn’t punish me right? It wasn’t a dream? She also said she loved me, _me!_ She is more of an Angel anyone could ever hope to be! I buried my face into the pillows to hide my growing grin. She said she _loved_ me. The bond could only lend credence to her claim. And her word is literally her bond. Yesterday’s bond was so much stronger! So much purer! I could literally feel it snapping into space when I answered her. And I know she felt it too. Whatever is going on, that must mean I get to keep my place with her, right?

I turned over in excitement, lifting my hand and placing them on my eyes as I thought again and again of what she told me.

“I love you” she said.

I let out a surprised giggle. I feel a little bit dizzy.

A familiar warmth tangled through my fingers, and I let my hands down, bring her hand down with it. She was standing over me, still smiling in amusement. I blushed, _again_, and sat up. I stared at both our hands, and studied them together. They do look great together don’t they? I smiled again.

I turned our hands over, and gasped. There it is, an inscription, a tattoo I never got myself.

“I love you, my son, and I always be with you.” Right there on my inner wrist. I stared at it for forever. Eventually, the Detective tugged her hand, and I jerked my head up.

“What’s wrong?” She looked worried now. I sighed inwardly. I loved it when she was happy. Now I’ve ruined it again. I raised my hand a little so she could see the tattoo. She looked at it, and then glanced at me.

“What’s wrong with it?” She didn’t know, I guess. How could she know the things that are happening to the both of us? I’ve never told her. I gulped as I realised how selfish I have been, keeping this from her. I should have told her of the bond the first time it happened.

“Please, sit down. I think…we need to talk.” Her brows furrowed, and she lifted our hands, pressing her lips on my knuckles, and reassured me with a small smile.

“Whatever it is, you have my promise. I will keep it. Okay?” My heart soared at her words. The side of my lips twitched, and I couldn’t help the half a millisecond my heart skipped. It was glorious, every time she said the words, it was all I could do to stop myself from screaming out in joy.

I squeezed her hand, and thanked her. I pulled her down beside me so that she is sitting, and took a deep breath.

“Do you remember the day we found the body of Henry Ames? And you told me you wouldn’t punish me ever?” She nodded in response.

“Well, a bond formed between us when I agreed with you.” I just gave it to her bluntly. No more secrets. If we’re going to do this, I have to be honest with her, I cannot give anyone else ammunition against us, against me. If she knows everything, I wouldn’t need to fear any revelations anyone might make to her.

She stared at me blankly, then cocked her head in confusion. “A bond?”

“Yes, I saw it bind us that day. We’re bond-mates now. Yesterday, it happened again, it was a much stronger bond, but I’ve never heard of a double bond before, so I’m not sure what it means. But both times, we were bound by golden threads of golden pattern, with these words winding through the lines. I think that’s why it appeared overnight.”

“You didn’t have this tattoo before?” I shook my head, and she visibly steadied herself.

“Lucifer? Can you feel what I’m feeling? ‘Cause I can, feel everything that you feel, I mean. I know when you’re frightened, or happy, or in pain.” That was so out of left field that I completely stopped responding. She’s implying that she has an emotional link with me? Does that mean she was able to feel it when I was punished by Amenadiel? NO! Please don’t let that be true!

Tears started to gather in my eyes, and I started to tremble. I was so happy about the bond, but if it causes the Detective such pain, then, then I’ll have to find a way to break it!

“Lucifer? Are…are you alright? Look I know it’s a complete invasion of your privacy…”

“No! It’s not about that, Detective!” I cried, “You can feel my pain! You can _feel _my pain…how can this be a good thing? We have to find a way to break this…this curse…I have to…” I looked around the room, panicked and in despair. This bond is a curse, it’s not a good thing at all. I was selfish to keep it from her, so selfish, despicable. I’m a monster. I don’t deserve her at all.

“Lucifer! Lucifer, stop!” The Detective yanked her hand out of mine, and cupped my face in both her hands. I stared blearily at her through my tears, and sniffed. What do I do? How can I fix this?

“Lucifer listen to me!” She shook me a little. I refocused on her, I shouldn’t do anything else to upset her. Do whatever she says, I have to do whatever she says. Whatever she wants, it’s hers if I can give it. It’s my fault for accepting the bond, it’s all my fault. I have to make it up to her.

“I don’t feel it that much. I only feel a fraction of it. Yesterday, I only felt my back being slightly knotted up, and I only realised it until you healed and the feeling disappeared. That’s how little I feel the pain. Don’t worry okay? There is _nothing_ wrong.” I processed her words, a little too slowly for my liking, it’s like what she said was not making sense. So she feels it, but she doesn’t feel it as much? I sniffed a little again, then asked wetly, “so you’re not in pain? You didn’t feel the whipping?”

She let her hands down and shook her head in answer, and I slouched in relief. Oh. That was scary.

“I also can, apparently, heal with strands of my hair…I think?” What?! I feel like I was having so much trouble keeping up. She keeps throwing me explosions after explosions, and I just cannot precess them quick enough. She can _heal_? Like my feathers? I stared at her, and felt my eyes widen at her revelation.

“Yea, when you were sleeping last night, I kinda accidentally placed a strand of my hair on your back. It glowed and you…healed…” She was eyeing me cautiously, and I couldn’t tell what she was thinking. This is a good thing as far as I was concerned. As long as she doesn’t get hurt, that’s all I ask.

I stopped staring at her, distressing the bedsheets with my fingers restlessly, I hesitatingly asked if it bothered her, that this bond is causing so many changes.

“Well…mostly the changes are not that disturbing to me, I was only worried you’d think I was invading your privacy when I know your emotions…” She stared at me and waited.

Oh. _Oh_. She was expecting me to answer.

“You can invade my privacy however you want, Detective. Even if you can hear my thoughts, I still wouldn’t mind. I wouldn’t want to keep anything from you.” Plus I’m happy about the bond. Whatever bane on my end is hardly a hardship anymore. As long as she’s not upset about it, I couldn’t care less which part of me she can invade.

She sighed and plopped down onto the bed backwards, staring at the ceiling.

“This is so surreal…” She commented softly.

I boldly edged my fingers towards where her hand is resting on the sheets, took a glimpse at her, making sure she was still looking at the ceiling. I moved my fingers a few more inches, and they were almost touching her hand. I bit my bottom lip, gathering the courage to just…

“What are you doing?” I startled and pulled my hand back and looked intently on the sheets. She chuckled and reached over, holding my hand in hers gently but purposefully.

“You’re my boyfriend, you can hold my hand whenever you like.” She said with an easy smile. “In fact, you can hold my hand, kiss me, or hug me anytime you like. That’s your boyfriend privilege. Good thing we’re together huh?” She said lightly, deliberately, telling me something I never thought possible.

I was her boyfriend? Wait…she’s my girlfriend? I swallowed as I raised my head and looked into her eyes, searching for any hesitation. She…she’s _really_ letting me into her life…_still_…after all the things that happened!

Today has to be the best day of my life. And my life was really, _really_ long. It doesn’t matter though, it’s still the _best_ day ever.

* * *

We drove back in the Detective’s car, and walked into the house hearing people shouting from inside. We shared a look, and followed the source to Beatrice’s room.

“He’s not a bad influence! Why are you taking my things?!”

“He became unwell the moment he went back to Lux. What does that tell you, huh? Your mum couldn’t even be here with you because of him! He is an unhealthy presence, and I don’t want him hanging around you! Just, give them to me Trixie!”

I felt a stab in my heart for the situation. It sounded like it was my fault this is happening. The Detective cannot be happy about this. He must be trying to take away the drawing Trixie made of herself, the Detective and me together. She showed it to me two days ago.

I glanced uncertainly at the Detective, not sure what to do here. The Detective looked livid however. She looked ready to storm into the little urchin’s room to drag Daniel out. I swallowed, and inched a little to the side, not wanting to be caught in the crossfire. She held herself back though, I assume to let Beatrice try handling the situation herself.

There was the sound of paper tearing, then a scream of frustration. The Detective stopped holding herself back, and banged the door open with such strength I was worried for the door.

I followed her in, and saw a scene I never wanted to see again. I strode right up to Beatrice, picking her up in her crouched position, then sat on her bed, conveniently holding her in my lap. She was crying, and sobbing, with such frustration, and almost ventilating. I soothed her as much as I could, but _Daniel, _being the douche that he was, couldn’t even let his own daughter rest from his “douche-ness”.

“What are _you_ doing here? Get away from my daughter!” He walked up to me, but the Detective, dear, feisty Detective, stepped swiftly in his path.

“And what were _you_ doing? Venting you frustrations on your daughter, Dan? Making her _cry_? Lucifer’s not the one bad for Trixie.” I kissed Beatrice on her head, and rubbed her back slowly and surely. I shushed her a little, trying to calm her down.

Daniel is not helping at all. “Are you serious? He bloody thinks he’s the devil. He’s unstable! You’re not letting him alone with her. It’s dangerous.”

“All I see is Lucifer calming her down after _you_ riled her up. All I see is his presence and your absence. All I see, _Dan_, is my daughter drawing Lucifer in her pictures, and not you! Don’t you see, Daniel? He makes an effort, and he got to reap the rewards. Don’t blame him for your mistakes. It’s your own fault for never being around.” I hummed in appreciation for the Detective’s acknowledgement of my efforts. It’s nice, to be recognised and rewarded. I should know, she’s said she’s my girlfriend now.

“Lucifer?” Little Beatrice called me, speaking into my chest. The Detective and douche are still at it, so I focused entirely on her.

“Yes, little one?” I pressed another kiss on the side of her head.

“You weren’t drunk right? Daddy said you got drunk and stole Mommy. You wouldn’t do that right?” I furrowed my brows at her words. She couldn’t possibly believe that.

“You know I don’t get drunk, Beatrice.” I said to her.

“I know, I didn’t want to tell Daddy you’re the Devil and couldn’t get drunk. He wouldn’t like that. He’d be more convinced you’re a bad influence.” I tightened my arms around her.

“You knew?” I asked hoarsely.

“I’ve always known. You’ve said it enough times to make it real.” Sometimes, I admire the fortitude children have. She is so collected in the face of the world’s largest revelation.

“You don’t mind?” I already know the answer, though I had to ask. She _is_ sitting in my lap snuggling into my chest. I don’t think she would say she minds my horribly disgusting existence. As expected, she shook her head left to right, as if wiping her face with my shirt, before settling down to doze in my arms.

I looked up, and saw only the Detective standing at the door, Detective Douche nowhere to be seen. She was smiling softly, and looked so beautiful in the morning light. I gingerly lifted Beatrice up - she must be tired from all the shouting, and getting worked up - and tucked her into her bed, kissed her on her forehead before walking to the Detective.

She smiled up at me, stroked my face once, before turning and walking out, and I followed her. We’re going to have to talk to Beatrice later today, about what happened today, and about me.

The Detective said earlier that I could take her hand anytime…I stepped up and placed my left hand right behind her right, and when her hand swings back, I grabbed it triumphantly. I grinned as she curled her fingers between mine, and we both sat at the kitchen counter.

I sighed as I looked into her eyes. _I love her_.

She smiled an amused smile, “I’m hungry. Make me something?” She made it a request, but we both know I would do whatever she asks. I kissed her on her knuckles, before regrettably letting her go. I walked around the counter and started to put together some brunch. We didn’t have breakfast, and the thing with Dan lasted longer than we both anticipated. I prepared a little extra in case the little kid woke up hungry, and served the Detective some Mac and Cheese. Easy, fast, and always filling.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trixie comes into play. The Detective deals with her new powers. Other people panics about the Detective's place in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter, I'm pretty fast this time. The story is pretty slow, I have a feeling it might take like 30 chapters for the first case to even be over. I'm sorry guys, it's the way I write. But you all like it anyway, riiiiiiight?

I sighed as I followed his actions with my eyes. Lucifer has been great throughout this whole time. He planned everything as well as anyone could, when I think about it. He revealed himself to me on a Friday night, and made sure Maze could take care of Trixie during this time - and Maze must be a demon, now that I think about it, and I am surprisingly okay with it - and he went and got Linda to take care of me, and gave me enough time to recover from the shock before I had to go back to work. But throughout his plans, not one of them was in consideration of himself. He tied himself up so I could feel safe, he promised me he wouldn’t hurt me multiple times, left himself vulnerable to his _son-of-a-bitch_ brother - and the anger I still have toward Amenadiel is not going to lessen anytime soon - _and_ he told me I could invade his privacy and thoughts without a second thought. It is like he doesn’t care about himself at all! Or……_ill-practiced_ more like. He has never been allowed to take care of himself, so he now thinks I’m more important than his own well-being. That just…it just makes me want to cry at the injustice of it all. How could his brother, _brothers_, and parents…and I _need_ to stop ranting about them in my own head. 

I watched as he finished the mac and cheese, handmade from scratch, and delicious to a fault. He had a soft smile as he looked at me eat, and whenever I glanced at him, he always immediately shifted his line of sight to the table. He toyed with his fingers, shy and unsure, the whole time I ate. When I was finished, he whisked the bowl out of my hands and cleaned it up without me having to ask. I can better tune the foreign feelings out as I got used to them. I feel anxious and unsure almost all of the time, and if the intensity I’m feeling these emotions are constantly at the back of my mind, then how acutely must Lucifer be feeling them all the time? I sighed, and his back tensed, and I bit my lip to keep myself from groaning in frustration. 

He is acting more like himself now, not expecting a blow every two seconds, but what I can feel tells me more than ever. Just at that moment, I felt the spike of fear and panic rise up my throat. It was gone after a while, but if this is what he feels every single time I let my upset be known, then I couldn’t imagine what my anger would make him feel. This isn’t going to be easy at all. He continued his task and I went to the living room, intent on letting him relax, seeing how tense he was whenever I was in the vicinity. He’s afraid of me, that’s not going to change soon. Even with the bond he says we have. But I could feel self-approach and disappointment in my gut the instant I stepped away, and I knew no matter how afraid of me he was, he always liked me around. And isn’t that just the sweetest, most beautiful, and sorrowful thing? What have I ever done, to deserve such regard? All I ever did was push him around and tell him to stop lying even though he wasn’t. How could he have developed such strong feelings for me? But along with the anxiety and insecurity constantly at the back of my mind, there was the strong feeling of protectiveness and the purest love pouring out of him and I couldn’t help but notice that I have no idea if it was what I’m feeling through the bond, or if it was emanating from right where he was standing. 

He loves me, he said. And it is so hard to not believe him, when he said it in such a reverent manner, as if he didn’t deserve to love me, but is so grateful I let him anyway. And then I get angry, because love shouldn’t be tainted with such sorrow and insecurity. It is a vicious cycle, and I want to punch his family in the face for making me feel this sad and this angry in a repeated alternate pattern that it is driving me close to insane. 

His phone rings at that moment, and both of us starts. He fumbled a little before answering it.

“Yes…No, Amenadiel…no…don’t you dare! She stays out of……I am not going to……she is not! …… I don’t bloody care, brother……Brother, if you touch even one hair of hers…” He was shaking, with panic and rage, and I just couldn’t stand the cold fury I feel slowly creeping up my spine anymore. I walked up to him, and he snapped his eyes at me, and bit his lips as he passed me his phone when I pushed my hand towards him asking for it. I put the phone at my ear, and heard the spiel Amenadiel was coming out with. 

“Lucifer, you better listen to me. You need to stay away from Chloe Decker! Whatever is happening, I will not allow it. She can hurt me now, and she commanded…_commanded_ me to leave. Do you know what that means? Your proximity will only add to that. You don’t want me to hunt her down, do you?” He added that last bit almost sweetly, and he _knew_ it would break Lucifer. My safety has always been more important to him than anything else, hasn’t it. 

“What makes you think I cannot _command_ you to _not_ hunt me down, _Amenadiel_?” I asked. Whatever he meant about me commanding him - I didn’t even realised I did - if it has him this rattled, then it is an advantage I need to push. He was silent for the few seconds after I spoke, then the phone went dead. He hung up, like the coward he was. I huffed in frustration at the ridiculousness of it all. Angels, cowards the lot of them. Not Lucifer of course, he’s a sweet, adorable guy. But the rest of them? Just unbearable pricks. Lucifer fidgeted, and I snap my attention back to him. And he froze, the familiar spike of fear rising up again. Again, how can he ever want me, when he feels this way _all the time_? 

We’ll have to go to work tomorrow. The weekend is ending, and the case is still open. Henry Ames’ killer is still out there, but for once, justice for my case is not as pressing in my mind as the other cases I’ve come across. Simply because the huge bundle of Lucifer shaped nerves right in front of me need justice as well, and I feel so helpless not being able to help him achieve it. I moved to the couch, intent on being as comfortable as I could while I give comfort to the one guy I believed deserved it the most. Hell, he _so_ deserve it for being the first being ever to have all sorts of problems. Abuse, neglect, isolation, torture, for a _millennium_, that’s a myriad of problems I’m out of my depth trying to fix. No, not fix, he’s not broken. I’m just trying to help him find his way back to joy and laughter and confidence. 

He followed me at a more sedate pace, stopping in front of me, still reverting to some kind of soldier like behaviour around me. He stood at the right side of the couch, silently in attention, not obstructing me, yet ready for me. Is this how he lived before he rebelled? He scuffed his toes on my rug, and I cleared my throat. He snapped his head up and looked at me, a quick flash of anxiety caught on his face and in my gut, and I patted the empty space to my right. 

“Please sit down, Lucifer.” As gently as I could, making it a request, never a command. Whatever Amenadiel was about, Lucifer has had enough commands in his life. He should hear requests more. He did so instantly, and a twinge in my heart I knew is entirely my own flared. He is acting as if my requests are orders anyway. Has this been how they voiced their orders? Is this how he was talked to in the past? Disguising terrible commands in the form of mere requests? Or is it just Lucifer being sweet and unable to refuse me anything? Every time I find something out, I discover a hundred more mysteries as well. This is beyond frustrating.

I lifted my right arm, and placed it lightly on the back of his neck, and rubbed him the way I know calms him. I do it until I feel a sense of contentment flowing through my body and he purrs, before pushing him with a little pressure, directing him down until he is lying with his head on my lap. His eyes were misty, and he snuffled a little, rubbing his face into my thighs. I smiled as how adorable his actions were, realising how he is essentially acting like a big cat. I stopped my rubbing to rest my hand on his shoulder, and he whines. I grinned at his reaction. 

“I’ll resume doing that after a while okay?” And there it is, the spike of fear. “No, no, it’s okay, I don’t mind doing it. I just want to talk to you for a bit, alright? You’re not in trouble.” I reassured him as well as I could, and his fear receded. 

“So what did Amenadiel mean just now? About how I commanded him?” I don’t remember myself doing anything of the sort. 

“He said you told him to leave, yesterday, and he had no choice, that he was made to leave. He also said you were getting stronger, and that whatever I’ve done to you needs to stopped. He told me to leave you for good and go back to hell.” He snuggled and rubbed his face against my thighs once more, as if taking comfort through such a simple action. And I remembered. I told him to leave, and I hadn’t considered the strangeness of it all at that time, but it was a strenuous situation. Come to think of it, Amenadiel had looked shocked and a little befuddled when I hit him and told him to leave, but I didn’t _command_ him…did I? 

So is this another power I didn’t know I have? Is all of this because of the bond?

Lucifer softly sighed, “I don’t know, Detective. I’m sorry.” And he buried his face in my thighs. I apparently asked out loud. I just knew I would feel that self-reproach up my spine when he said that. How is any of this his fault? This must be a first for him as well, and even if this is common in heaven amongst Angels, he wouldn’t know anything since he would be in hell. I resumed rubbing his neck, intent on getting his content purring back. And I just sat there, letting my thoughts drift. We both deserved a break, if I do say so myself.

I started when panic gathered in my stomach, and I blearily looked around at the source of my panic. But no, I wasn’t scared, and confusion hits me until a whimper sounded right at my lap. I looked down at Lucifer still lying on my legs, and he was sweating and shivering, and making the most pitiful sounds that pulls on my heart. I swallowed through the lump in my throat, and placed my trembling hands on his cheek, trying to focus through the panic he is transmitting to me through the bond. 

“Lucifer?” I shook him a little, and he whined, “Please, don’t…no more…I’ll be good…please…” Whatever he’s begging to be stopped, _whoever_ he is begging, I just cannot fathom how anyone could hurt such a sweet person. He is childish and insensitive I know, but he is practically adorable and sweet and innocent to a fault when it comes to people he cared about. When I see him with Ella, or Linda, he is impossibly out of his depth but always trying so hard to please. Look at him when he’s around me. How could anyone he cares about do this to him? 

I start saying nonsensical words, words like “it’s okay” and “I’m here” and promises that could never help. How much pain he must have gone through? I stopped trying to shake him awake as panic and sorrow warred in my heart, and I couldn’t help the drop of tear I let fall onto Lucifer’s cheek. And he stopped. The shivering, the whimpering, the feverish begging, it all stopped, and for a moment it was too silent, and the fear and panic I felt vanished as abruptly as it came, replaced with a slight worry.

“Detective?” Lucifer turned around, and looked up at me. He raised his hands to touch my cheek tenderly, “What’s wrong?” 

I couldn’t speak, and all I could do was stare at his worried face. The way his panic disappeared when he realised I was in distress, it was…too much. The hold I have on him, it was too deep, and a responsibility I wasn’t sure I was ready to take on.

Well, that’s just too bad isn’t it? Because you’ll have to work through this just like you’ve worked through everything else. Lucifer needs you, and you’re going to be there for him, period. 

He pushed himself up on his elbow, and pulled me down into the crook of his neck, and his carded his hands through my hair, soothing me and comforting me. 

“Shhhhh, everything will be fine, dear Detective. Everything’s alright.” And he hummed a melody so light and soft, it calmed my nerves and slowed my rapid heart. I sighed against him, and he kissed me on my ear. 

“You alright?”

I nodded into his neck, breathed in his comforting scent, then sat upright, and he laid back down on my lap, face up and looking at me. His hands threading through my hair still, adding a comforting weight that tells me he’s here, and no matter what, we’re together. I smiled a little bit at the thought, and he smiled back. I bent down to kiss him on the forehead, hearing his sigh of contentment. We basked in the moment.

“Mommy?” We both looked at the stairs, and Trixie came down in her pyjamas. 

“Hey Monkey, you’re up. How was your nap?” I asked as Lucifer sat up and patted down his already crinkled shirt. Thankfully, he wasn’t wearing a suit like he always do. 

“It was okay. But I’m a little hungry.” I smiled at Trixie, and Lucifer got up and went into the kitchen.

“Mac and cheese okay with you, Little Urchin?” He asked on his way, and Trixie, excited as she always was at the mention of anything cheesy, raced and barrelled right into him and said: “Yea! Lots and lots of them! I can eat a horse!”

“I’m not sure you can, little one, but I’ll give you as much mac and cheese as I made.” Lucifer ruffled Trixie’s hair as he got the food ready, and I walked into the kitchen behind them, settling at the counter as I watched their interaction. He is so good with Trixie, even if Dan cannot see it. We’re going to have to have a talk with Trixie, if I’m going to have Lucifer in my life permanently. It feels pretty permanent to me…it feels right, and natural, and just impossibly painful if I think about leaving him. No, that is not an acceptable choice. He’ll have to stay with me.

I basked in the domesticity of the moment, Lucifer preparing meals and Trixie hounding him for treats, while I just…_relaxed_. Despite all the crazy, this moment is still perfect. I rested my head on my arms and just…_basked_. 

When Trixie was done eating, and we were all on the couch comfortably snuggled up against each other - Lucifer in the middle with his head back on my lap and Trixie wrapped up in his arms - I asked Trixie what she thought if Lucifer becomes family.

“Become family, Mommy?” She wrinkled her nose in confusion, “but, isn’t he already?” And Lucifer hid his face in my stomach as I continued rubbing his neck. 

“I mean officially, permanently, you know…like Dad.” I wasn’t sure what to say to make her understand, I’m not even sure how to approach the proverbial elephant named “Lucifer’s _Devilness”_ is stomping around in the room. But his fixture in our family should be a fairly easy place to start, considering…the rest of it….

“But…are you getting married then? Are we inviting Angels or Demons to the wedding? What about Lucifer’s Dad?” And I gaped at her. Did Lucifer already tell her? 

The beginning sparks of anger manifested, as I asked Lucifer the question out loud. He started to tremble in fear, _of course he trembled_. 

“I didn’t!” He didn’t quite yelp, “I p…promise, please…” He protested in a whisper, and his fear and panic lasted longer than any other times this day.

“Yes you did, Lucifer!” Trixie exclaimed, and my anger began to flourish. Lucifer whimpered in answer. “You’ve been saying you’re the Devil for ages! You remember Mommy! He’s been telling you that too!” And my anger left as quickly as it came. Oh. He didn’t tell Trixie without my permission, she just believed him like I never did. 

“Mommy! Stop pulling on his ear! He’s afraid!” Trixie’s little hand pulled on my arm, and I looked down to find my hand brutally holding onto his ear. He was trembling in fear, and was just _lying there_ taking all of my abuse.

Shit._ Shit_.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer and the Detective gets some more clues in their case.

The Detective lifted her punishing hand in an instant, the rage I could feel emitting from her receded just as quickly as it came. I breathed a sigh of relief. I would never go against her wishes like that, I knew she didn’t want little Beatrice to know what a monster I was. But it doesn’t matter, because it was my fault, it will always be my fault. A pull at my ear is the mildest punishment ever, and she is still the best, _good_ person I have ever met - and I have met so, so many - if all she does to me is to pull at my ear. Even if it is painful, it still cannot compare to a whipping, nor the electricity. It was a really small price to pay, and I know it doesn’t mean I could disobey her whenever I like, it just means I loved her even more, and all the more reason I should do my very best to keep her happy. I want to stay with her always, I have to show her I wouldn’t go against her in anything.

I stayed in position, keeping my ear in place in case she decides I require more punishment. But she doesn’t. Instead, she placed her hand back to the nape of my neck, and started to rub in that soothing, comforting way. Is she _comforting_ me? I made her angry, right? I couldn’t help but be lost in the feeling of contentment that rose within me. Does this mean she’s not angry anymore?

“Lucifer?” She called, almost timidly. She shouldn’t be timid, she had me at her disposal. She should be confident, upright, _a queen_. I started mentally at that thought. A _queen_? Yes, yes she is, isn’t she? If she is to be my partner, and bond-mate, then she’ll have to rule hell as well. I lamented the future I have forced her into, my fault, always my fault. I’ve ruined her life, now I have ruined her death as well. I deserve all the pain in the world. I answered her, knowing I deserved pain, but feeling apprehensive at her anger all the same. However much I blame myself, I still couldn’t accept my due like a good Devil. 

“Yes, Detective?” I responded. Better to respond as quickly as I could, better to not increase her ire. 

“I’m sorry, Lucifer.” I blinked multiple times, rapidly, staring stupidly at her stomach. Why is she apologising? 

“I misunderstood. I thought you showed her…I thought you…lied…I shouldn’t have.” Her voice twinged with regret, and I really hated that. I liked her happy, and laughing. Not regretful or whatever I tend to make her feel. I never want her to regret anything with me. She should be carefree and joyful.

“No Detective, it wasn’t your fault. It was mine, I shouldn’t have told her about me being the Devil. I shouldn’t have lied just now when I said I didn’t tell her. But…but I didn’t _really_ lie…I just…please Detective…I’m not making excuses. I only meant I didn’t _show_ her, not that I didn’t tell her. I’m sorry.” My voice getting softer and softer, as I lost my courage throughout my explanation, speaking increasingly rapidly, and my last apology can only be described as pathetic. 

“No no, it’s my fault really…and even if you did, I shouldn’t have…but never mind…” she sighed. She directed her next sentences at Beatrice then, “so…you’re okay with it? With everything?” 

“Yea! He makes you happy Mommy! And you make him really happy too, like really really happy.” I sighed at little Beatrice’s words. Yea she does, so much. The Detective’s resumed her ministrations at the back of my neck, and I melted contentedly. Maybe she wouldn’t punish me as often as my brothers did. I mean, all she did was pull my ear, and she apologised for misunderstanding me. Does this mean I’ll get to explain myself if she thinks I did something wrong? Because I really need that chance. I never did, before…

“Okay…okay. So we’re all okay. We’re one big family. Everything’s fine. Well…that settles it then. Let’s watch a movie, I think we should watch a movie. Right? Right.” It seemed as if the Detective is a little bit off-balance, so I slid my hands around her to rub her back soothingly. She sighed and slumped a little. 

We watched a movie that night, a very simple, non-thought-provoking movie. It was one of those princess movies little Beatrice loved to watch. We stayed snuggled up on the couch until the little human nodded off, drooling on my stomach, and the Detective was absently rubbing my neck while dozing off as well. I stared at the both of them, and smiled as I let myself relax. We’re all good, everyone’s safe, and she hasn’t left. It’s turning out to be a good day after all. 

I woke up to the sounds of debating muffled and soft, and when I regained my alertness, the conversation has come to an end with a “Yes! Thank you Mommy! I’m going to go change!” Whatever it was, it seemed the little hellion won. I sat up to see what was happening, just in time to catch Beatrice running right past me, and the Detective, having heard my motion, looked over. My heart skipped a beat at her attention. 

She smiled at me and beckoned me over, and I did. She reached up to me and gave a a chaste peck on the lips. 

“You have taught my daughter too well, Lucifer. She bargained with me to bring a piece of chocolate cake along with her lunch. I hear the cake you made her was good?” I ducked my head abashedly, unsure if she is teasing or actually scolding me. But the kiss she gave me earlier was the same one she gave me when she rewarded me before, so it cannot be a bad thing right? I shuffled a little, told her I needed to wash up and change, and escaped the scene, and from the chuckle I can hear behind me. 

I made quick work with my stubble and hair, and made myself presentable before venturing out of the bathroom. The two of them were chatting at the kitchen counter, and I walked closer. Both of them turned around, and the Detective pushed a mug towards me. 

“Here, have some coffee. I packed some toasts for you, but we’ll have to drop Trixie off at school and go to work straight away, so we don’t have time for an actual breakfast.” I nodded, and drank the coffee she offered me. It was too bitter, and has too little cream, in the way I know the Detective didn’t like but never managed to correct. I’ll have to make her a proper cup when we get to the precinct. But I’ll drink whatever poisons she hands over anyway, what’s a little bad coffee. I drank it all up, declared that I was ready, and the Detective ushered us all out and into her car. 

We watched little Beatrice bound off into her children prison, and the Detective drove off into the direction of the station, holding my hand the whole time, letting sparks of joy hit me again and again.

I veered towards the recreation room when we reached, and the Detective went towards Ms Lopez’s laboratory. I doctored a quick cup of coffee, grinding the grains myself, _of course_, and adding the foam and sugar just the way I knew she’d like. I headed back to the Detective’s desk, holding the mug, and turned into Ms Lopez’s laboratory when I saw she wasn’t there. I walked through the entrance, and Ms Lopez, as bright as she is, always, noticed me and gave me the hug she always gives upon sight. I raised the mug high, keeping it from spilling, and patted her on the back awkwardly, unsure what to do in moments like this. She likes hugging me, I know, but I still don’t understand her need for it. It’s weird…is what it is. 

I locked gazes with the Detective, and she looked back at me with sorrow in her eyes. I stopped breathing for a moment. What did I do? Why is she sad? 

“Where did you go?” And I faltered. She’s upset with me. It must be for going off without permission or telling her. She hates that, I knew. She was always telling me I shouldn’t go off on my own and that I should tell her whenever I decided to leave. But...but....I wasn’t _leaving_. I was...making coffee...

I should have asked. I’ve already earned her displeasure last night once. I’d hate to be punished in front of all these people. Being punished in front of little Beatrice was bad enough. 

I’m aware I’m having a full blown panic attack now, she is walking towards me, winding around the lab’s evidence desk and reaching out. I trembled in fear as I waited. Will she pull my ear as before? That was painful, but it wasn’t that bad. But this time I really did something wrong! Last night was a misunderstanding, this time I haven’t any excuses!

“I...I’m sorry...Detective.” I breathed. 

“Hey hey! Luce! What’s wrong?” Ms Lopez, bless her, was rubbing my arms in an attempt to comfort. But the Detective’s brow furrowed, and I stepped sideways away from Ms Lopez. I don’t want the Detective to think I had anything going on with Ms Lopez. I knew she already hated my many escapades with other women. I remember her being more than a little grumpy whenever that part of my life came up. I swallowed and clenched my eyes shut. 

I imagined she might slap me, or...or maybe pull my hair. Michael loved to do that, and it always made me yelp like a puppy. And a scolding, I definitely won’t be escaping that. I felt her hands around me, and held my breath. Her fingers curled and held onto my hair, and my heart started to pound. 

But she didn’t pull, she only did that soothing scratch near the nape of my neck, rubbing her fingers over and behind my ears. I exhaled and lifted my eyelids, tentatively looking at her. She’s...not going to...punish me? I hummed a note of question. And the sorrow in her eyes took my breath away. 

But the sorrow disappeared instantly, as if it was never there, and her frown morphed into a teasing smile.

“Is that for me?” She gestured to the mug. I nodded, took a shaky breath and passed the mug over to the Detective. She took a sip, and moaned with pleasure, and I preened with pride. I pleased her!! She abruptly turned towards me with shock in her eyes, and I started. Did I not please her then?

But she reached over, and kissed me on the lips, chastely, like a reward, and I melted against her. So I _did_ please her. I bit on my bottom lip to keep the grin I can feel forming in. 

Ms Lopez cleared her throat, and both of us turned towards her. 

“Sooooooooo, guys! You’re together _together_ now? Like, together?” I paused at her question. That was way too many “together”s for my understanding. But the Detective seemed to comprehend her like it was some kind of girl code. She nodded, smiling, and I let my lack of comprehension go. Whatever it is, the Detective can handle it. 

“Awwwww! You’re so cute!” The scientist went on and on about how the Detective and I were so obviously into each other, and how we were taking so long to get together (so _that’s _what she meant) and how cute we are together. In fact, she was repeating the notions like a radio on a bad day, but I couldn’t bring myself to be annoyed by it. It seemed she is happy for us, and I couldn’t help but be immersed in her obvious joy at our now-together-status. The easily excited scientist is definitely a treasure.

We eventually got back to the case on hand though, and Ms Lopez was reiterating how she found two sets of finger prints on Ames’ belt. The piece of cloth used to clean the buckle was also confirmed to contain the same gold particles from the belt buckle and Henry Ames’ blood. So the murder weapon really is the belt, but the killer is still out there. 

“See, there isn’t any full prints to be found on the belt except the father’s, it was cleaned up. Haphazardly, but it did the job. But here’s the cool part, I found a lot of half prints and finger prints in pieces, so I took all of them and pieced them all together.” She gestured towards the screen of her computer, and we looked on, fascinated, as she showed us how the different prints fit like a jigsaw puzzle.

“I’m a genius aren’t I? Ha! So he thought he wiped down all the full finger prints, but there is enough broken ones that make a whole, and voilà! I bet this finger print matches the brother’s.”

_“Alright! Alright! So I did go back to give Henry a piece of my mind. I saw him, kissing that…that…Norman, at the bar. So I picked up a girl, took her to a hotel and checked in, before I left her there to go home and make sure he knows what I feel about him…kissing abominations. So I tied him to his bed, and whipped him senseless. That should teach him, the ungrateful brat. After all the things I’ve given him, how I’ve provided for him, and he dare sully my name with his atrocious acts. It had to stop! But I didn’t kill him! I threw the belt at him when I was done, and went back to that Sherry chick in the hotel.”_

_“When did you get the belt back then?”_

_“What? This belt? This isn’t the same belt as that one! This was a gift!”_

_“A gift? You’re saying you own two identical belts, and this one you’re wearing was a gift? From who?”_

_“My son.” _

_“Henry?”_

_“No! My other son, Larry. He saw my belt’s condition, and decided to buy one to replace the one I’ve dirtied on Henry.”_

_“It was already replaced on the day your son died?”_

_“Yes, he saw me wearing the cheaper belt that night, and asked me what happened to it. He called his assistant and got me a new one. He’s competent like that, unlike that idiot I call a son.”_

That was what he said, according to the Detective. So this belt is the murder weapon, but not the one used to whip the poor boy. However, it was the same design as the one the father used, and is also wiped clean. Plus, it came from the brother, Larry. So our next suspect will have to be Larry. How…predictable, that it is the brother that killed Henry. 

We looked at the fingerprint on the computer for a while longer, before the Detective decided we need to pick Larry up for questioning. We have enough evidence to charge him. It was kind of odd, that we didn’t know of Larry’s existence until Ames mentioned him though. No matter, we’ll figure it out when he is in custody. The Detective got some unis to pick him up, and we went ahead and did a more elaborate research on the Ames family. 

Ames is an old name, something that dates way back to the 1700s. They were fishers, the lot of them, sailing and transporting goods and…_trafficking_. But they have a reputation. They apparently are never weak. Their marriages are wed for the sake of their business, their children were trained to be cutthroat businessmen. It’s like a great big army camp of business people. I _really_ pity whoever marries into the family. 

Ames, the current head of the family, obviously, is a cheating bastard who sleeps with anyone _but _his wife. He did sleep with his wife once though, and she gave birth to twins. Henry and Larry. Henry has always been the intelligent one, the one who had a higher chance of making it in their business world. Larry though, is talented enough, but when compared to Henry…let’s just say he couldn’t compare. 

But there is something interesting though…amongst all the articles we’ve dug up about that family, there is a curious picture of Ames and Sherise, taken not on the night of the murder, but 20 years ago, right in the same hotel. They knew each other way before they met in the bar that night. There is something they are hiding, and they aren’t telling us. 

I looked up from all the articles strewn all over the Detective’s desk, and saw Larry Ames being led in by two beat cops in uniform. I tapped the Detective on the shoulder, and she looked up at me and then looked towards where I was facing. She stood up, and walked towards the interrogation room. 


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer knows something about their new suspect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for taking so long this time!! It was difficult writing the next chapter and I wanted them all to flow nicely, so I put this off for a while. 
> 
> I hope you like this one!

Lucifer sat down beside me as I gathered all the information in my head. Larry Ames is the less talented of the brothers, and assuming that is his motive, he must have killed his brother after the whipping Henry received from their father. Even within the throes of the case, and having half my mind focused on our newest suspect, the image of Lucifer’s face wouldn’t leave my mind. I’ve obviously set him back, if one question could lead to a panic attack that quickly. I feel so out of depth, I shouldn’t have gotten angry at him at all! This is all a mess now. 

But I squashed my frustration and temper down. I cannot let it slip. Lucifer needs calm and collected Chloe now, not aggressive and angry Chloe. This is going to take getting used to. I’ve got to keep this under the lid! In fact, let’s make a deal. Good going, Chloe Decker, you’re thinking to yourself and making a deal with yourself. You’ve finally gone off the bend. 

The deal. Right. No getting angry at Lucifer, under any circumstances, in fact, no outward signs of displeasure at all when Lucifer is around, until you’re sure he can and will defend himself. I mean, pulling someone’s ear is not that great and offence if whoever you’re grabbing twists himself away from your hands, but Lucifer just stays in position and let me inflict the pain without complaint. So until he learns that he is allowed to remove my offending appendage from his body, only soft and calm Chloe is allowed. 

I refocused my mind back onto Larry, and for some reason, this suspect is not acting like a revengeful brother at all. In fact, he is acting suspiciously like a victim.

“Larry Ames?” He jumped at my voice. Which is odd, considering I have been sitting here for a good five minutes already. 

“Y…Yes?” I scrutinised him, and he shifted in his seat. Lucifer fidgeted a little as well. 

“It was brought to our attention that you gave this belt to your father as a gift. Is that correct?” I pulled a photo of the belt out of my file and slid it across the table. He glanced at it, and nodded. 

“Where did you get this belt?” He pursed his lips, and fidgeted some more, but remained silent. I narrowed my eyes, and asked the question again. He looked into my eyes, searching, though I wasn’t sure for what, before he spoke again.

“I did not kill my brother, Detective. It wasn’t me. It was…” Here he furrowed his brows, and choked on his words. His eyes became glassy, just like how people do when they are seeing something we couldn’t see. I knocked my knuckles on the table to gain his attention, and he snapped his eyes back to me. He looked down on the table, intertwined his fingers, and started again.

“Henry and I, contrary to popular belief, were very close. Our father…he wasn’t the easiest man to live with. When they say Henry was trained to inherit the business, what actually happens is Henry was whipped every time our father thinks he needs to learn something. He was miserable, and I was spared the torture. After the first whipping, Henry told me to hide my talents. Henry wasn’t better at the whole business schtick than me, we were _equals_. But he didn’t want me to suffer, so he told me to hide my talents to save myself. I was kept hidden, out of sight, a _disgrace_. Our mother…let’s just say she avoids any interactions with us. ” He took a deep breath.

“That night, it wasn’t Henry kissing Norman. It was me. Our father could never tell us apart. Henry was coming out of the toilet when he saw our father leave with that bitch Sherise. Henry warned me, and we rushed home, but our father was already intent on punishing the shameful son. Henry…he…he pushed me into the closet before our father came into our room. He told him…that it was him, that he should have been free to choose who we love, but he received the punishment anyway. And our bastard of a father, he threw the belt at his head like he was a trash can when he was done flaying his skin! All I did…was watch. I was going to untie the ropes, I was! But _he_ came in, wearing the same _bloody _belt, untied it, and in a calculated move, strangled my brother to death. All right in front of me!” Larry clenched both his fists, tears filling up his eyes, but not dropping. His entire body was filled with rage. 

“He dropped his belt when he was done, took a few breaths, untied Henry’s restraints and dragged him out. Then he came back and picked up the belt, and left. I was there the whole time, but there is no way I could have said anything. They wouldn’t have let me.”

I stared at disbelief, processing his words in an entirely too-slow manner. What he is saying is, there is another mysterious killer out there?

“Who is he?” I asked. 

“His bastard son.” He replied, tone flat and eyes blank.

“Why did you give the belt to your father then? I don’t get it, that gave us a clue to get to you, you still wouldn’t be safe.” 

“I would, because I can claim ignorance. I took the belt left on the floor, and cleaned it. I called my assistant to tell her to buy another belt of the same model, then transferred the packaging, carefully, to the belt I picked up. I pretended to check with our…_half brother…_if our father would like the gift, he was none the wiser. Then I gifted it to him. He loved it, and he wore it everywhere. He is getting ready to train me now that Henry is gone, he will have to treat me as a son that made him proud. He will have to parade my talents and intelligence. He will have to show the world how he _values_ me. I was sure he would wear the belt anywhere. And I was sure…that you would find me.”

“Too elaborate a plan just to lead us to you, don’t you think?” 

“Not if your own family is against you and you cannot be sure help would come. I am a business man, Detective, and a self-serving one too. His bastard son killed my brother, I want him behind bars. But I don’t want to die in the process. Orchestrating events is what we do in this industry, so I manipulated my way into this room. _Please _help me, Detective. Catch the culprit, avenge my brother, set me free.”

“So what’s his name?” I asked, “Your half brother.”

“Gerald Oaks.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” I said stoically. I stood up, and Lucifer followed, and we walked out of the room. That was unsettling, to say the least. Family drama…so much of that around us recently. This is going to cause a headache, I just knew it. 

Lucifer was quiet throughout the whole interrogation…well, not so much an interrogation actually…but the information is good. We’ll have to keep Larry here, since he said he was at the scene during the murder, and we have no evidence to prove his innocence. Besides, if his story is real, he would be in danger too. It’s safer this way. 

I turned towards Lucifer, but he looked pensive, and I touched his arm lightly to call him back to the present. 

“What’s wrong?” 

He looked at me seriously, “I know of a Gerald Oaks…I’m rich, and I own a lot of property…but I actually also own lots and lots of shares in many different companies. Since I could influence a company’s prosperity easily, I tend to invest in a wide range of industries. But Oaks, he isn’t the Devil, but he has risen above so many other businesses just as easily as I did. He isn’t at my level per se, but he is close.”

“Okay, so he is a very successful businessman. So? It’s not the first time we dealt with one of those.” I said, still unsure what he looked so solemn for.

“Yes, but Detective, he is so successful because of his power. He deals in the transporting industry, specifically...human trafficking.” He took a quick glance at me, before continuing.

“He has people and power beyond this state, even the country, and that is said to be why he can become so successful this quickly.” I paused as I thought about the implications. It sounds like he is already powerful and rich, where’s the motive? Why would he need to murder the brothers if he doesn’t need the inheritance?

“I also heard that…” Lucifer continued, but stopped. I looked up at his face, and he looked like he tasted something bitter and distasteful. I raised my brow expectantly, “Yea?”

“I also heard that Oaks had lost a ship in the sea a few months back. If that’s true…and the ship contained…_cargo_…” His face suggested what the _cargo_ could be, and if the ship did sink, then the buyers wouldn’t be very happy. Oaks would be hard-pressed to compensate them. In _that_ case…he would need the inheritance. 

I reached into my pocket and took out my phone, sending out people to check out if what Lucifer heard is true, and to do a background check on Oaks. I did that as I walked back to my desk, but Lucifer stopped me with a light touch to my arm. 

“Detective…” I looked back at him. He looked nervous as…well…_hell_…no pun intended. He shuffled his feet and wouldn’t catch my eye. 

“Lucifer?” I prompted, and he froze, like a deer in the headlights. What has gotten into him?

“Maybe…” He started softly, “maybe you should…give this case to someone else?” I furrowed my eyebrows, and there it is, that spike of fear I hate so much. “It…it’s just, he’s…he targets…children…” His voice gets softer and softer, and if not for my undivided attention, I probably wouldn’t have gotten what he said. 

“What?” I asked, disbelief colouring my voice. Why is that a reason to give this case away? 

“His enemies are afraid of him…not because of what he does to them…but because of what he does to their children. He specialises in capturing and selling children, Detective. I just thought…” His apprehension is almost palpable now. I understand now, he’s worried for Trixie. I really do understand, but unless I give it to Dan, who would endanger Trixie anyway, no one in this station would help me. I’m on my own, I’m afraid. Danger to Trixie or not, I’m on my own. Well, not exactly. I do have faith in Lucifer _and_ Maze. Their protection should be enough. 

What I _don’t_ understand, is why Lucifer felt so nervous saying this to me. He is avoiding eye contact, fidgeting, acting in so many ways like…like he feels guilty. If that doesn’t tell me what he’s feeling, the entirely out of place guilt I feel rising up my chest just confirms it. Along with the growing fear. 

I reached out with my hands, intent on soothing him as I always do by rubbing his neck, but he froze and whimpered and I stopped just short of touching him. 

“Lucifer?” I couldn’t believe this reaction. What is going on? 

“I…I didn’t mean to endanger Beatrice, Detective.” And as bewildered as I felt, I couldn’t just leave it like that.

“_Endanger_ Trixie? Lucifer, what are you talking about?” 

“I just…you…don’t like it…when Beatrice is in danger…” he trailed off, and I heard it, right there in my head.

_And_ y_ou were angry with me yesterday, for Beatrice. _

I gasped. Was that…could it be…it _was_! This is beyond ridiculous. And entirely one-sided, if I do say so myself. How is it I can feel everything he is feeling, and now hear what he is thinking, but he cannot do the same. I’m beginning to think this bond might not be such a good thing after all. 

There is also the matter of Lucifer’s fear. I made a mistake yesterday, and Lucifer is paying for it now. He thinks I will punish him for anything that concerns Trixie, as if it’s his fault she might be in danger. I thought we made two steps back after taking one step forward, but I was so wrong. We took a thousand steps back after taking a half step forward, all because of my inability to control my temper. This is all my fault!

_She’s angry now. She’s going to punish me. Why did you have to make her mad Lucifer! You’re so stupid! You just can’t bloody be a good Devil can you? You finally find someone who cares and you just had to ruin it. _

My hands flew to my mouth, covering it in shock. Is this how Lucifer thinks of himself? So harsh, and unforgiving, and oh. my. God! What have you done to your son?! I thought that he had a few elapses now and then, I didn’t know he was incriminating himself throughout the day! Two thoughts, and I have had more insight into his mind than any other period of time we spent together. 

_What? Why is she suddenly crying? What did I do? I didn’t mean to do it. What do I do? Don’t do anything you idiot! Just stop and let her punish you, it’s what you deserve. Then maybe you wouldn’t make her so sad with your incompetence and inability to be good._

I grabbed his hand, and walked into the garage. It was almost time to get off work anyway. We’re leaving.

I drove the car to Trixie’s school in silence, too caught up in my thoughts, no, our thoughts, to say anything. 

Lucifer’s thoughts revolved around frantically wondering if I would punish him, or just throw him away like trash. Nothing I did dispelled him of the notion. I rubbed his neck, I held his hand, all he could think about was how good I was, and how he must be the best Devil ever to be allowed to stay by my side. We’re lucky we didn’t see Dan today, wherever he is. Any interaction with him could only escalate quickly, not with Dan’s…doucheness and Lucifer’s protectiveness. Them together would be a ticking bomb, and when I defuse this bomb…I will have my hands full of a very timid Lucifer. Nope, best to keep them apart for a while.

When we reached, I turned to him as much as I could in my seat. We have to talk about this.

“Lucifer, I am not going to abandon or leave you. Okay?” Great job Chloe. Blunt and direct. As if it’s going to work. Lucifer looked back at me with shock in his eyes. His mind is thankfully peaceful and quiet right this instant. 

“Lucifer?” He started, then slowly nodded. Did he really believe me?

_She said she’s not leaving me. Or abandoning me. That’s good. I can feel the bond pulsing with her promise. She means it. Just like how she said she wouldn’t punish me. _

And I felt a sharp pang in my heart. I did promise I wouldn’t punish him, didn’t I? And I broke that promise. I gasped as my tears threatened to fall. I’ve ruined this, I’ve gone back on a promise and he’ll never trust me again! How did I manage to ruin a relationship in a few days?! I howled in my heart in sorrow, and startled when I heard an actual growl outside my mind.

“You did not ruin this, Detective!” He practically growled at me, “I know it wasn’t meant to be a punishment! You’ve done the exact same thing to me before, and I’ve never trembled in fear before you. But years of abuse taught me to think in a way, and I’ve given you my free will! It’s difficult to think like a free person right now! It’s my fault you’re in so much anguish…it’s _my_ fault you have to go through all of this!” I gaped at him in silence, not knowing how to respond. 

One thing is for sure, the bond…is not one-sided. Oh! And another thing…suddenly, Lucifer is taking so many steps forwards…


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long awaited conversation. A breakthrough!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been so long! I've been working on so many things recently. I hope you guys haven't given up on this story! I haven't!

“I…I just…it’s not your fault, Detective!” I told her. Why would she blame herself for my own flaws?

“What flaws? Lucifer? This wasn’t your fault either!” She scowled at me, and I couldn’t help but flinch and swallow. 

_He just…he doesn’t understand!_

_He isn’t supposed to blame himself!_

_And I thought he moved forward…I thought he knew I didn’t mean to punish him! Apparently he just thinks that it’s his flaws!_

This is going to be difficult, when we both can hear each other’s thoughts. But…I shouldn’t…I’m invading her privacy! She should be able to think freely, without my poking into her head. I have to learn to tune her out, I have to…to…just _stop_! 

And _blissfully_! The Detective’s thoughts stopped coming in! Just like that? But no, explaining to the Detective is more important than my bond crisis here. 

“No…Detective! I know you didn’t mean to punish me, and your word is your bond! Literally, now! And me, being…_afraid_…of you, is only because I’ve given you power over me! And I know it is difficult to understand, but I only gave you my free will because I love you and I don’t mind you treating me however you please. But that doesn’t mean I like disappointing you like how I seemed to disappoint my family for eons! Hence the need for punishment. I keep expecting it from you, because it is what I know makes me learn good behaviour best. If I was punished for things you don’t like me doing, then I won’t ever do it again. And…I _want_ that! To be good enough, to not upset you, to be worthy of your attention…” To be worthy of your love. I looked away from the Detective, ashamed at my admission of my own flaws. How can she look at me in anything other than disgust? That I need a firm hand and correction to behave properly? This must be the reason why Father liked to whip me so much back in the days. And why the lot of them preferred to keep me obedient and passive. 

“No!” I jumped at the Detective’s exclamation, and I turned my head to stare at her. 

“No, you do not need correction, Lucifer! You are perfectly fine as you are! This!” She waves between us gesturing to both of us, “is what upsets me! That you think you don’t deserve what I give freely! That you think you’re not worthy! But you’re wrong! You are worthy of me, and my love, and happiness and joy and to just be yourself! I just, you don’t have to live to please me, Lucifer! You can please yourself, do things that you like!” She had some remnant tears in her eyes, and I really _really_ didn’t want them to make another appearance, but I didn’t know what to say to her. She said…that I’m worthy…but she cannot mean…

“But what I like…you don’t like what I like! You hate it when I drink, or do drugs, or bother you at work! You don’t like it when I’m…well…being me!” It’s true…she doesn’t like a lot of the things I do.

“No Lucifer…the reason why I hate you doing those things…is because they’re bad for people. They make you addicted, or not yourself, and then you can hurt someone else…or yourself. But it’s different now, because I know you’re the Devil…and I realise you might have better protection against the bad side effects of those substances. So as long as you don’t make someone else addicted to it or hurt other people, I’m actually okay with it. Just not around Trixie alright?” I opened my mouth to make some sort of point, but I looked into her expressive and widely honest eyes, I closed my mouth again. 

“I do care about you Lucifer. And I hate it when you think I don’t!” I widened my eyes at that, because I know she cares, too much possibly. And I couldn’t let her think I thought she didn’t! I made a sound of protest, wanting to correct her, but she held up a hand and halted me. 

“You think this thing between us will be over once you make a mistake, but I just need you to know, no matter what you do, no matter what happens, I _will not_ intentionally abandon you!” And again, as with any other promise she gave me, the bond pulsed at her words. She wouldn’t abandon me if given a choice! She’ll always choose to be with me…that’s what she means right? She…she _is_ a miracle. If only I…what if I screw it up? What if I do something she really really hates. She married the douche, that’s another bond and promise right? But she still left him. 

“That’s because of the betrayal and the lies. You _know_ that!” Yes…yes I do…so I guess…this is essentially a deal then. She promises she wouldn’t ever leave me…and I promise never to…

“No! No Lucifer! This is _not _a deal! I love you, unconditionally! You don’t have to do anything to gain it! You already have it!”

“But…what if I lose it?”

“Oh Lucifer…okay. How about this? You love me, right?” It was a question leading up to a point, but the undercurrent uncertainty made me pause. She couldn’t be unsure of my devotion! I lifted my hand and used my knuckles to stroke her face. 

“I do, Detective. More than anything that ever could matter to me. I love you, so much.” I have to make sure she understands, that she _know_ how much she means to me. 

“Then will you ever stop? Loving me?” I recoiled at the suggestion. Goodness no! I _love_ her! I will _always_ love her, even after she’s dead and in heaven and all I can do is pine over her. There will only ever be her, now and forever! I shook my head in response, unable to force the words through the lump I found stuck in my throat. 

“There you have it, you love me forever, so why would you think I wouldn’t love _you_ forever. Do you think my love is any less than yours?” She asked almost innocently, but I _know_ if I answer anything less than a “no”, she would have my head. Her lips twitched at my latest thought, and she even does that _sexy_. I leaned forward, testing my boundaries, going slowly enough so she has ample time to refuse me, and lightly pressed a kiss on her lips. It was soft, and sweet, like marshmallows, only way better. I savoured it while it lasted, until she had to break away to breathe. 

I marvelled at her tenacity, that she could let me kiss her this intimately after she knows what I am. That she could still sit here and patiently spell out her love for me. No matter what she says, I know all the terrible things I’ve done in my long long life couldn’t ever make me worth anything this good, but she says I am worth her time and love, so unless something else proves otherwise, then…I guess I’m worth her time and love. 

“Your love is the greatest gift, and my salvation, Detective. It is not less than my love for you, Detective, no. It is…_divine_. And if there is anything, _anything_ I could do that makes you lose your love for me, then it can only be my fault. Don’t you see? I’ve always been able to know what people want, but with you…I cannot tell! I don’t ever want to give you a reason, any reason at all, to be upset with me. I like you happy, and content, when I’m around you.” I really really hope she’ll understand. She is unhappy with the debate, that she couldn’t make me understand her view, but I couldn’t lie to her, not when I don’t believe this will last longer than a few decades. Maybe less…

“And I’m telling you, nothing you do will ever make me stop loving you!” She’s frustrated. She’s doing that thing where she runs her fingers through her hair and sighed, “I will not stop loving you! Why don’t you believe me?” And her tears are finally out, streaming down her face, a reminder of my utter failure to keep her happy. I reached over, wanting to cup her face, but she smacked my hand away. She doesn’t want me to touch her…ok…ok…I can do that…

She choked a little, and sniffled. And I thought back to what she said. She’s upset because I don’t believe her. I shouldn’t do this to her…

“Do you keep your promises, Lucifer?” She abruptly took a turn in her questioning. It was odd, but a welcome change of attitude even though just a few minutes have passed. 

“My word is my bond, Detective. I _am_ Devil of my word!” I replied. 

“Then I want you to promise me something.” Her eyes glinted as she talked about how she wants me to make promises. She asked if there is anything I would refuse her, anything at all, and I told her, again, that she could make me storm the gates of heaven and hell if she so much as hinted at it. I gave her carte blanc on what she wants me to promise. So she told me to repeat after her. 

“I” She said, and I followed after, “will do my utmost best to have faith in Chloe Decker.” That’s it? Anyone who had a chance to get any promise from me would definitely take advantage of the situation. Like that time Gabriel asked me to take the fall for him. It was the same situation. He looked frantic, and he asked me to promise him something. Normally, I would ask what it was before I give him my promise. But he’s my baby brother, and I trusted him. So I said yes, and I made the promise to take the fall unknowingly.

The Detective gasped, and I assume she heard my thoughts. She has garnered my promise, and all she asked for is my faith, so I will have faith. She said she wouldn’t be punishing me, that she loved me, and that she will never leave me if she had a choice. I will have to believe her now, I need to have faith. I can do that. I never had faith in anything, not my family, not my mother, definitely not my father. But the Detective, she can be my religion from now on. Definitely. I breathed in deeply, her scent in the air calming my racing heart, the initial _disbelief_ at what I am attempting to _believe_ now sinking in. How ironic. I leant towards the Detective, and she reached out to pull me into a much needed embrace. I sighed into her neck, snuggling into her warmth. I love her. 

“Now that we’ve settled that, mind telling me why you had to give me your free will?” And I froze. It had to come up sometime, I knew, but I thought I had more time before we had to discuss this. I didn’t want to discuss this at all…

“It’s fine, Trixie’s coming out anyway. But we’ll have this talk tonight, okay?” I hid my face in the crook of her neck and gave her a quick small nod to show her my acquiescence, but I still wasn’t looking forward to it. 

The stream of little humans started coming out of the school entrance, and I straightened myself up. PDAs is a big nono for the Detective, I think. She refrained from it during work, although she does brush her hands against mine from time to time. But she is the best person ever, because she rubs my neck whenever I feel unsure, and kisses me when I did something she likes. So now everyone knows we are together, I think, but she doesn’t seem to mind. Even though she doesn’t announce, it seems she isn’t ashamed of me either. It’s…refreshing. 

The Detective’s spawn walked out of the entrance just as I was smoothing out my sleeves. She walked with a slight spring in her steps and I knew she’s had a good day today. I breathed a sigh of relief, the barely noticeable tension in my shoulders releasing and making me even more content with how the day progresses. A happy spawn could only mean a happier Detective. It’s even better that she’s safe and unharmed, and I realised the danger I thought little Beatrice might be in due to the case we were working on was getting to me a little too much and too quickly. I _really _don’t like how this case is going. 

The little human bounded over and slipped onto the car, starting her chattering almost right away. It’s as if she prepares a whole list of things to talk about before she gets into the car. I felt, without warning, the Detective’s hands over my own ones, and I jumped. I glanced at her, and she smiled at me reassuringly, and I just felt that it will be okay. Even if I upset her, it will not end in a totally cosmically bad way. That’s enough for me. I smiled back at her, and basked in the safety of her presence. 

We reached the Detective’s house soon enough, and the urchin got straight to work piling up ingredients from the kitchen. I looked at the detective questioningly.

“Today’s taco Tuesday. Dan might be here later.” She whispered as we tracked the spawn’s movement from the kitchen to the living room, setting up movies, and preparing drinks. 

“She’s awfully excited about this. I think she feels horrible about the fight during the weekend. She probably wants her relationship with Dan to be back to normal.” And I couldn’t help but feel responsible for Beatrice’s current situation with Daniel the Douche. He assumed what was going on, and took it out on Beatrice. The Detective would never do that, no matter how she feels about the situation. If Daniel dates someone she doesn’t approve of, she still wouldn’t have done that to the child. I’d like to think I wouldn’t be this bad-tempered around Beatrice too, but I knew how rash and impulsive I can get, especially when I’m upset. I hope I won’t ever do anything to give her a reason to fear me. I never want to make her cry like she did two days ago. 

I followed the urchin into the living room, and sunk into the couch, the Detective doing the same, and we both relaxed as we waited for the time to make dinner. The urchin threw some cushions onto the floor and settled down in between my legs, leaning against my shins. I looked down in surprise, but made a mental note to not move to much so that little Beatrice might have a more comfortable time watching TV. The Detective raised her hand, my eyes immediately tracking her actions, and telegraphing her move a little too much, stroked my face softly, and slid behind to rub my neck.

Daniel came in a couple hours, and we were already getting the ingredients ready. I was chopping up and dicing up whatever needs to be diced up, and the two Deckers were happily spraying each other with water as they attempted to wash the vegetables, and I couldn’t help the smile I felt on my face. I glanced up at the other Detective, and he paused at the door when he noticed me, his expression immediately souring.

“What is _he_ doing here?” He hissed at Chloe, aggressively. If I didn’t know the Detective could handle her ex-husband with flair, I would have bristled. But seeing as I’m meant to have faith in the Detective (and isn’t that refreshing, to have faith in someone?), and I’m a Devil of my word, I stayed put and merely fumed inwardly at the douche’s audacity. 

The Detective brushed her hands against mine as she walked round the counter towards Daniel, shot me a reassuring smile, and confronted him like it was a warm up before a jog, confidently and assuredly. 

“_He’s_ been a gentleman. You might want to take a leaf out of his book.” I wanted to snicker, but it’s probably best not to antagonise the douche, so I put some effort into maintaining my neutral face as I guided Beatrice through the motions of chopping the ingredients, wrapping both my hands all around hers so if there was an accident, I would be the only one getting hurt. I tuned the two Detectives out and focused on the mini Decker. 

Beatrice whispered, “They’re not going to fight right? It’s Taco Tuesday!” 

“They won’t. Your mother knows how important this is to you, and I’ll leave if your father refuses to accept my presence. It’ll be fine.” I whispered back. I do have faith in the Detective, but the douche does not inspire much good-feelings, let alone faith. I’ll leave if my presence makes the entire thing difficult. I won’t be the one to impede the spawn’s father-daughter bonding time. 

“Fine!” The douche suddenly shouted, bringing both the little human's and my attention to the two detectives, “I’ll _allow_ him to stay, but only if he shuts up and not talk.” 

I was ready to accept the condition. Being mute isn’t that much of a hardship. Besides, I can communicate just as well without my voice. The Detective furrowed her eyebrows, and opened her mouth, intending to throw a scathing remark of some sort, I think, but a tiny but strong voice shocked us all. 

“Go away!” She said. “You’re just making us all sad. You should just go away Daddy!”


	23. Chapter 23

I stared at Trixie in shock, all of us did. But Trixie was gasping and sobbing and trembling in anger and sorrow that just pulled my heart strings. Lucifer dropped the knife he was holding, and scooped Trixie up like she weighed nothing, and proceeded to shush her soothingly. 

Dan, though, was having none of it, his ego and cruel streak running a mile ahead. 

“_Put_ my daughter down! You’re not going to corrupt her with your bad habits and lifestyle! Stay _away_ from my family!” 

Lucifer opened his mouth to retort, but glanced at me, and closed his mouth with a snap. 

_Best let the Detective handle this._

Is he still afraid of me? 

I turned back to Dan to give him a piece of my mind. 

“You can’t say that!” I was going to seethe those exact words at him, but a high-pitched voice screamed at him instead. I looked back and saw Trixie standing on the stool she was using to reach the counter, glaring at her father with all the anger she could muster.

“You can’t say that to Lucifer! You’re never here! You don’t pick me up from school, you missed my play last month, you make me stay at your table with that weird man when I didn’t even like him even though I told you I didn’t want to! _Lucifer_ came to all my plays! He said he will come to the next one next week too! Even though I know it was boring for him. _Lucifer_ comes for every Taco Tuesdays. _He _makes dinner for us almost every night! And he’ll never ever tear up my drawings that I draw for you! He even helped me spell ‘difficulty’ when I was writing that Father’s day letter for you! You’re mean to everyone! You made me cry, then you made Mommy cry, I won’t let you make Lucifer cry too! So go away! I don’t like you anymore! I don’t want to have Taco Tuesdays with you anymore! I don’t want to go stay with you on the weekends no more! I don’t want to have a mean Daddy!” 

She breathed heavily, and shook violently. Dan was speechless, as were the rest of us. Lucifer recovered first, even though I knew nobody has ever defended him as fiercely as Trixie just did, and I knew he must be reeling with emotions now. But Trixie came first, as always, and he puts his emotions in the back seat while picking her up again, cradling her head against his neck and he stroked her hair soothingly. 

“Shhhh, little one. Calm down. He’s not going to make me cry, I promise. And I genuinely love your plays, you _know_ that. It’s not to humour you. Now, as much fun as it is to see you scolding your father, I don’t think you should make yourself so terribly worked up to do it. So calm down. Let’s go to your room, why don’t we? And I’ll read you a story. You like that right?” He manoeuvred his way to Trixie’s bedroom, reassuring me with his eyes that he’ll take care of my little girl. 

“_Look_! Chlo, he _encouraged_ Trixie to scream at me like that! How could you even let them be in the same room?” Dan tried storming past me to get at them, but I slid in front of him, effectively blocking his way.

“_Dan_.” I hissed, “Did you hear a word your daughter said? Or was that all a load of crap to you?” 

“She only said that because Lucifer corrupted her! And you! You’re no better. Look at all the time you spend with him! You’re letting him walk all over you!” I snorted at that. _He’s_ walking all over me? Boy has he got it all wrong. 

“You think that’s _funny_?” He shrieked, and I honestly have no idea what I saw I him years ago. 

“Dan, seriously, do you even have eyes? Anyone can see how he’s _not_ walking all over me, in fact, sadly, he’s letting _me _walk all over him! If you can’t see even that, then you have a stick too thick stuck so far up your ass all the way to your brains, because it is messing with your intelligence. Do you even notice how no one agrees with you? Or are you just that self-absorbed? You know what? It’s fine. Do whatever you want, but stay _the hell_ away from us. This is the second time you’ve caused Trixie this much distress, and there won’t be a third. I’ll file for full custody if I need to, I’ll put a restraining order if I need to, you know I will win the case.” His face looked positively puce at that moment, and I didn’t really care. How dare he think he could dictate who I invite into my house! How dare he think, even for a moment, he could set such demeaning rules for dinner _in my house_. In case he hasn’t noticed, _this is my house_! I’m seething myself, but I have better control over my reactions, and Dan will not see me fall apart ever again. 

Dan stood there, shocked and speechless, _again_, and I raised one eyebrow at his continued presence at my doorstep. He caught the hint, _finally_, and glared at me fiercely, but left the way he came. _Good_. He is the father of my child, and I want Trixie to have her father around. But if it is doing more harm than good, then there’s no need to hang onto him anymore. I closed the front door with a click, and walked back into the house towards Trixie’s bedroom. What a day ruined…

I peeked inside Trixie’s room, and saw Lucifer walking around the room, carrying Trixie preciously, humming a soothing tune into her ear, and just being absolutely sweet in this whole situation. He noticed me as I opened the door wider, and he carefully put Trixie down on her bed and tucked her in, just like the previous time she got too worked up, and then came out, closing the door behind him gently. 

We exchanged a look with each other, and walked back to the kitchen together, both of us in our own thoughts. Well, he was in his own thoughts, but I was in both of ours. 

_Bloody hell, doesn’t Daniel realise what treasures he has, does he have to jeopardise his relationships like this?_

_I mean, here I am, wishfully hoping this family’s mine, and there he is, ruining it as if they were unimportant. _

_I wish I could just tear him limb from limb._

_He’s such an idiot. _

_He shouldn’t be allowed near the little urchin if he’s going to make her cry every time!_

_I know I ruin every relationship in my life, but even I haven’t made Beatrice cry…yet._

_His face was hilarious though…_

_The spawn’s got fire, I got to give her that. Must be in the family._

_The Detective is sexy when she’s angry too. _

_Well, not so much if she yells at me, I won’t be able to enjoy her sexiness then. But when she’s glaring at Daniel just now…_

“Lucifer!” I couldn’t help the blush creeping up my neck, but he jumped at least a foot into the air at my exclamation. He turned his wide eyes at me, and gulped as he nervously twisted his cuffs repeatedly. 

_Faith in the Detective. Faith in the Detective. She’s not going to punish you, don’t panic! _

Right, I still make him nervous. 

_Yelling is not a punishment though…she can still scold me…it’s still scary. _

I sighed at his thoughts. Well, it was a fairly good progress from yesterday I suppose, or even this morning. 

“Lucifer, I’m not mad okay?” He nodded, as if I would start screaming his ears off if he didn’t immediately, and I sighed again. 

_She’s gotten angry, or disappointed…she’s upset. I have to do something, today’s supposed to be a relaxing day. Why did Daniel have to ruin this day? She’s finally not angry at me, and now she is! Again! _

I stared at his back as he started his work at the chopping board again, but he was trying way too hard to hide his face from me. He sniffed once, and I just knew what happened right away. 

I stepped towards him, hugging him from the back, and _no one should be this afraid of a hug_. He stiffened and froze, and I rubbed his stomach soothingly.When he finally relaxed into my embrace, I pressed my forehead against him, and sighed.

“Lucifer, I’m not angry, okay? I’m upset, yes, but it’s because of Dan, not you. You were great with Trixie just now, I’m so happy you’re here.” I muttered into his shirt. 

“Really?” He asked timidly, and I nodded against his back. He let out a breath, and continued chopping the ingredients, humming a soft tune, seemingly content. 

_Have faith in the Detective._

That’s what he has repeating in his mind over and over again. He was trying so hard to fulfil his promise to me. I tightened my arms, and he hummed a questioning note, but I buried my face into his back, and he continued his tune. 

We finished Taco Tuesday without Dan in the end. Trixie woke up after a couple hours, Lucifer and I had already finished making the Tacos, so she was in time to eat them. It wasn’t quite the family affair we were planning for, but it was heart-warming all the same. Trixie seemed a little down, but even she managed to laugh joyfully at one of Lucifer’s jokes. 

We went to sleep early that day, Trixie having been worn out by her confrontation with Dan, and I was totally sapped. Lucifer, sweet as always, tucked Trixie in after reading her a story, then came to me, pulling me into his warm embrace, and falling asleep alongside me. It wasn’t a perfect day, now we just need to sleep the night through and we’ll have another chance at a perfect day.

How wrong I was…

“Get out!” That was Lucifer, his low voice rumbling, like thunder, forcefully soft. I flicked my eyes towards the clock on the wall, and saw that it was only 4am. 

“Lucifer, you have to stay away from her! She is not human! Why are you so stubborn!” What is he talking about? I sat up, and inched towards the door, opening it just a little bit, and saw Amenadiel intimidatingly looming over Lucifer, getting into his personal space. Lucifer, dear heart, must be blocking his entrance into my room, for he stood right at the door, unmoving. I looked over his elbow, crouching low so Amenadiel wouldn’t see me if he happens to look this way, and listened.

“If you must know, brother, _I don’t care_. She can be a demon, or a…a…flamingo, for all I care, I still love her. I’m not leaving her!” 

“Lucifer! She can command angels! Did you ever stop and think about that? You, who loved free will so much you went against Father, you’re telling me you don’t care that she can command you without effort?”

“I hardly think it was without effort, brother, considering how upset she was that time. But for your information, she already has my free will in her hands. She can command me however she likes. Again, _I don’t care._”

“You truly have fallen, brother. I shouldn’t have left you for so long. Michael said we should continue your punishments to monitor your behaviour even though you’ve been banished, Gabriel said we should constantly remind you of your place. But I told them you’d be reminded enough, seeing as you’re in hell. They were right, weren’t they? I should have taken their advice.” That’s enough, that was more than enough. I straightened, and widen the open door, giving Amenadiel a toothless grin, all the while white hot fury coursing through my blood.

“_Leave_, Amenadiel. You are not welcome here, you are not welcome anywhere near me or Lucifer. So _get out of my house_!” And just like that, he was gone. 

“W…what just happened?” 

Lucifer looked at me in awe, “It appears, darling, that you can command angels now.” 

I could feel my eyes widen in disbelief, I felt my mouth open and close like a goldfish, but as much as I wanted to seem collected…I’m failing. _Commanding angels_, how could…is it even possible? Lucifer does what I tell him to because he is afraid of me, and he _lets_ me, but the way Amenadiel just _disappeared, _when I ordered him to leave…

“I need to sit down.” I went back in and sat down on my bed. 

“Breathe, Detective. Everything’s fine.” 

“How is _anything_ fine?” I snapped, and he winced at my tone, “Do you mean I have been doing that to you? Making you obey without your consent?”

I was dreading his answer, but he looked as stricken as me now.

“No! I swear, you didn’t! It…it appears you only tapped into that particular talent when you’re exceptionally angry…I hope…that I’ve…that I haven’t…given you cause to be that upset with me.” He spoke softer and softer, and his demeanour starts to shrink into himself. Okay, normal levels of fear then, not I-cannot-control-my-reactions-she-can-tell-me-to-do-anything-she-wants fear. That’s good…I think?

“Okay, okay, we can think about this tomorrow. Let’s…let’s just get back to sleep, alright.”

Lucifer nodded a little, and I reached for his hands, pulling him towards me gently, and pushing him down onto the mattress. He went down willingly, wrapped his arms around me once more, and we laid there silently.

Just before I fell back asleep though, I remembered I haven’t talked to Lucifer about the reason he gave me his free will. I’ll have to remember tomorrow. First thing in the morning. I sighed, and snuggled back into his embrace, and let my mind drift. 

I woke up to soft laughter, and clinking sounds. I sat up and looked at the empty half of my bed. Lucifer has gotten up, and apparently is entertaining Trixie. I freshened up and went to the kitchen, and that scene right there, is what I’d like to keep forever.

Trixie is sitting at the breakfast bar, swinging her legs back and forth, laughing at Lucifer’s jokes. And Lucifer was reaching out with the spatula he was using to stir some kind of sauce, and lightly tapped it on Trixie’s nose. His teasing smile just on the edge of his mock annoyed frown. I walked over, the smell of the blueberry sauce tempting me immensely. I sat down beside Trixie, feeling extremely lighthearted, and completely flattered as Lucifer’s eyes lit up with pleasure at my joining them, and waited for him to serve us breakfast. 

I laughed at both their antics, Lucifer being so relaxed is such a novelty these days, and just enjoyed the atmosphere. I drove Trixie to school, Lucifer handing her a brown bag just before she jumped off the car. 

“Lunch, urchin! You need to eat nutritiously after all! Make sure you finish it all!” He called as Trixie waved at him, running in to the school with an excitement and a level of energy I wished I still had. 

_I hope all those bloody recipe books are at least trust-worthy! I spent hours poring over them!_

I snorted at his thought, and he looked at me in surprise. 

“What?” I laughed.

“I keep forgetting you can hear what I think.” He told me, but in a much more languid tone than I’d expect from such a topic. He smiled at me, somewhat dopily, and I just had to ask.

“You’re not bothered?” 

He shook his head at my question.

“No, I like that I cannot hide anything from you.” 

“Weren’t you able to hear my thoughts too? Yesterday? It doesn’t seem like you’re reacting to any of my thoughts now.” I asked him as I pulled out from the school’s driveway and went on our way to the precinct.

“I can block the connection.” 

I snapped my eyes at him instantly, “What?!”

He winced, and said in a softer tone, “I can block the connection. I…didn’t think you’d like me invading your privacy.”

Well…that’s true, I didn’t…but…

“But, why didn’t you tell me how to do that? You can have your privacy back too.” I asked.

He shook his head, “I like it.” He said with a smile, and as bewildered as I am…I let it go. 

_At least she won’t have any doubts that my thoughts revolve around her, not myself._

If I detected some smugness in his thoughts, I’ve elected to ignore it. Smartass..

My mood have improved since the visit from his abusive brother. My trepidation at my newly found powers locked in a safety box at the recess of my mind, to be unlocked later, after I’ve dealt with the many issues at hand right now. 

Giving Lucifer his free will back is my first priority. Solving this case would be next. Making sure Amenadiel and his other brothers don’t harass Lucifer is up there right after. My freaky powers can wait until it’s causing problems like shooting laser everywhere before I’ll move it up on the priority rank. 

Don’t jinx it, Chloe.

“Well, you seem pretty confident today, shall we talk about your willingness to give away your free will so easily then?” I asked, and his smile vanished immediately. 

_That’s unfair!_

I grinned. At least he dares to pout now, albeit a tad silently, and only in his head. His face only expressed a carefully neutral facade. But he’s still relaxed, he isn’t reeling in fear, and that’s better progress than I’ve hoped for in one day.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry people!!!! I know this is so late. But I promised, I have a complete plot in my laptop, and this story will be finished one way or another! This is my baby, and I will not abandon it!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter!

“So? Are you going to explain it?”

Lucifer slunk into his seat as he realised he wasn’t getting out of this conversation.

“Can we…talk about this later?”

_Much later…much much later._

I raised my eyebrows, and said drily, “You do realise I can still hear your thoughts?”

He blushed in mortification at being caught, and fiddled with his cuffs in his anxiety. Why is he so reluctant to discuss this? It cannot be as bad as him being the Devil, can it? He gulped audibly, and I kept my face passive and neutral as I drove down the street leading to the precinct. I parked in the garage, looked at the time, and decided that yes, we have time for this discussion.

I turned and looked at him expectantly, and he mumbled something so soft I couldn’t hear it even though I strained my ears. His thoughts did not give me the answer that I want, and I frowned. He caught my expression immediately, and averted his eyes sideways, but spoke again. This time, in an audible volume.

“You’re a miracle.” He said, and I felt my eyebrows lift all the up into my hair. Is he flattering me? Buttering me up for the bad news? He took a glance at me, and continued.

“A…Amenadiel blessed your parents…they couldn’t conceive, you’re a miracle, put in my path so He could take my free will. He gave me a person he knew I would love, someone who would love me in return and accept me as I am, so I would give my free will back up to him.” He is staring at his hands now, his fingers twisted in each other’s joints.

_And I fell for it anyway. I don’t care anymore._

“So you think…that I…tricked you into loving me?” I asked, knowing there is something fundamentally wrong in the way I interpreted his explanation, but unable to pinpoint it right away. His head snapped right up and he looked me in the eyes, stricken at my query.

“No!” He shook his head almost violently, “No, y…you’re a pawn as well! You do have free will, but he made sure I would fall in love, so he could threaten my heart, force my compliance. He manipulated this so I would fall back on my knees!”

There was something still at the edge, something I couldn’t understand. Because if what he said was true, and I was threatened to make him comply, what’s to stop it from happening now? So what if I have his free will in my hands? It seems to me, that Lucifer is only letting me command him, and whether he listens to me is his own choice. It doesn’t seem like a tangible thing, his free will. But the way he talks about it is as if free will is a ball that you can throw around and gift to people and even take away. Lucifer’s thoughts cleared my misunderstanding right up.

_He cannot threaten you unless He wants the forces of Hell against him. Even He couldn’t win against that big a force. Holding my free will means you hold the reins of Hell. Every demon will recognise where my will belongs._

I looked into his eyes, reeling with the new information. I hold the reins of Hell? What?! He looked up into my eyes with determination.

_You can send me waves of pain if you so choose. When I gave you my free will, you hold the power over my soul. If you’d like to punish me severely, you can…will it, and my soul will be writhing in pain._

I gasped, tears rolling down my cheeks unexpectedly. I did not even realise such a strong reaction could be wrought from me so abruptly. I could cause him pain? Has God done that to him before? I stared at him, opening my mouth in a desperate attempt to ask him if that was what he endured before his fall, but somehow, I knew I didn’t want to know the answer.

I didn’t know what it felt like to have my soul writhing in pain inside me, but I could feel it at the tips of my fingers. The knowledge right at the edge just dying to show me how I could cause that amount of pain, and I recoiled from it.

“I would do anything to avoid that punishment again.” He told me, and the sobs I was holding in tore their way out. Again, he was subjected to it before, he suspect his Father would put him in that position again, that my life would be threatened so his Father could do that to him.

For the umpteenth time I realised how much I meant to Lucifer. For with the knowledge he had of his Father’s nefarious plans, he could have left me in the lurch, I am a mere mortal after all, but instead, he rebelled…by giving me the same power over him which he refused his Father. That he needed to do so, all because of his certainty that he would submit if my life were to be threatened…

“That’s why I’m afraid of upsetting you…” He said softly. Because he wants to avoid that particular form of punishment. Because he has been subjected to it, and even with all the things he has suffered through, this is the one thing he cannot bear to endure. And he left it in my hands…

The weight of the whole situation settled in my chest, throbbing and swelling and…painful as hell. It’s sinking in that I have so much power now. I can command angels, I can heal wounds, and apparently, I have more power than the Lord of Hell himself! What more could there be? How did this become my life? I hate that I’ve stumbled into this whole new situation with no directions whatsoever and seemingly having increasing bricks of weight hanging off my shoulder, and I feel like I might suffocate.

And on top of all of that, the perpetrator is GOD! He forced Lucifer’s actions, he caused Lucifer’s fear. He pushed and pushed and Lucifer finally tried to save himself from more pain the only way he could, by making sure someone he trusts could have power over him instead of his Father. Oh, the irony.

“So…do I rule hell now?” I asked, genuinely confused. What changes would all of this bring to my life? For better or for worse, it has already happened, and all I can do is make sure I am prepared to face what happens next. What does holding the reins of hell mean? What responsibilities do I have now?

“Y…yes,” he said softly, “all beings from hell will be loyal to you and yours for as long as your soul lives.”

_Even after you die…and go to heaven. You can control hell from there._

“They will be loyal to me, as well, but more to you. If we ever have a disagreement, they will follow your lead.”

_Not like I will ever disagree with you. I’ll most likely follow your lead too._

“What makes you think I will go to heaven?” I asked. He choked at my words, looking at me in panic.

“You can’t go to hell! It’s horrible and torturous, and you’re too good to ever have to go there!” I felt the beginnings of my anger slip through as I contemplated his response. Did this mean he expected me to leave him in the lurch the moment I die? Did he expect to be separated from me, heaven and hell, at the end of this route? Did he think me so weak-willed and incompetent?

“You think I cannot rule hell as you did? That I will succumb to wherever they bring me to the moment I died?” My displeasure must be rolling off me in waves by now, his distrust hurting me in a way I never thought I would ever feel with Lucifer. From the start, Lucifer has believed in my abilities and intellect, even before we became friends. That his belief would falter now…and what happened to having faith in me?

“N…no! I just meant…that you didn’t deserve…”

“I will decide what I deserve!” Lucifer snapped his mouth shut at my outburst. I took a deep breath, and counted to twenty in my head.

“Ok…ok, we’ll talk about this later. We don’t have to worry about it until I die anyway, which is going to be a long long time later…I hope. So we don’t have to worry about it now.” I took another deep breath.

“Let’s just solve this case first.” Lucifer nodded in agreement, and we alighted the car.

We both walked into the precinct side by side, and part of me was so satisfied with Lucifer’s confidence in his place beside me, and we ignored the stares everyone was giving us. Lucifer normally walks in behind me, one step behind and to my left, like he is guarding my blind-spot instinctively. It was one of the reasons why I have been getting less and less death threats from random police officers who think I have no place in the force.

I gave some unis the instructions to keep an eye on Gerald Oaks, and then started gathering information on this guy via the police’s database. It was a short and uneventful day, and all I learnt was that this person had risen from seemingly nothing at all, and he appeared at the top of the mountain abruptly. The day anyone took notice of him, is the day he is already so powerful no other businessmen dared cross him. I couldn’t even find any connection of his relation to the Ames’ family. I was near ready to throw my computer across the room when Dan walked over.

He stood at my desk, looked at me pointedly, and waited for something. I was puzzled. What in the world did he want and why is he not saying it?

“What?” I snapped. I have lost all patience I could ever have with him. He glanced at Lucifer pointedly, and I realized he wanted to speak with me privately. No way am I doing that. Firstly, Lucifer can know whatever secrets I hold. Secondly, I don’t care what holier-than-thou Daniel wants anymore.

“Just say it, Dan. He’s not going anywhere.” I saw Lucifer’s hands twitch where they were resting on the documents on my desk. He was prepared to go at my request, I knew it without bothering to listen in on his thoughts. He broadcasted them anyway.

_I’ll go if she asks…_

How could the devil be so sweet, and the police officer be such a douche?

Dan sighed aggravatingly, and growled before saying aggressively: “I need to go on a stakeout. I can’t take Trixie tonight.”

No matter how many times he did this, my heart still breaks a little at the disappointment I know Trixie would feel. Yesterday was a bad day for all of us, and Lucifer managed to calm Trixie down. But…it could never be enough. Knowing her own father was such a dickhead could only hurt Trixie, and I never wanted her to feel anything but joy and happiness.

At the same time, I wanted Dan to stay the hell away from her! He was causing so much distress, and really, we could do without his presence. And I reckoned it would be okay as long as Trixie gets used to his absence. But it would hurt, and I didn’t want to take that choice away from Trixie. So I had to bring disappointing news to her, again and again, until Trixie breaks and tells me she doesn’t want her father anymore. Why did she have to go through all of this heartache? I felt the sting at the back of my eyes, and a sudden warmth covered my hands. I looked down, and saw Lucifer holding my hands under the desk, his body angled so he could cover our intimacy. I sighed in exasperation. Lucifer has always known when I’m upset, and he’s gotten better at knowing just what I need. I knew he’ll support whatever decision I made.

“Whatever Dan. I’ll take her.” I told Dan, and promptly ignored his presence and continued to dig for Gerald Oaks information. Dan stood there for a few more moments before stomping off like a child denied sweets.

By the end of the day, I managed to find out that Gerald Oaks ships all leave from the same harbor, always, without fail, on the first Monday of the month at 2am. How many children could he be smuggling out the country if he could make a shipment every month? How many children on our missing children files could be accredited to him? That was a frightening number, and I had a sudden urge to see Trixie.

“Let’s end this early and go get Trixie.” I told Lucifer, and he nodded before standing up. He waited while I packed my stuff up, and we quickly made our way to the car, and drove on to Trixie’s school. Lucifer was quiet throughout the ride, exceptionally so, and I was uneasy about something I didn’t know about.

“Lucifer?” I asked.

“Detective…I have a bad feeling…” He eyebrows furrowed.

_Why is my heart rate getting faster? I would only have this type of reaction whenever the Detective is in danger, because she is my bonded. But she’s here…and safe. So what is this?_

He shifted in his seat, and I pursed my lips. He could sense it when I was in danger? If so, why did he feel like I was in danger? I was right there. I frowned as I pulled into the school’s driveway and waited. Streams and streams of children walked out. Trixie didn’t.

My heart started to beat erratically, and I pushed the car door open, Lucifer following suit. I strode into the school and walked straight up to Trixie’s homeroom teacher.

“Mrs Maybury! Is Trixie still in school for other activities?” She turned towards us, then she frowned in confusion. I felt my heart drop at the implications of her emotions.

“She left, Detective Decker. She was picked up just an hour ago by your husband.”

“What?” I exclaimed. “Are you sure it was her father?”

“Yes!” Mrs Maybury confirmed. “I even asked Trixie, and she recognized him as her dad.”

I turned to look at Lucifer, tears already pooling in my eyes. Dan said he was too busy! I fumbled with my pockets and wrenched my phone out, dialling Dan’s number from memory.

“Chloe, I told you I was…”

“Did you take Trixie?” I cut him off.

“What?” He said, I could hear bewilderment in his voice. “I _told_ you…”

“If this is some ploy to prevent me going to court with you…”

“_I did not take her_!” I gasped as reality sank in. Trixie wasn’t with Dan. I dropped my phone, but Lucifer caught it before it reached the ground.

He gave Dan a quiet “Beatrice has been taken”, then cut the call, before looking at me cautiously.

“Detective, she’ll be okay. I promise.” Lucifer looked me in the eyes, determination and fierce protectiveness shone in his.

Who could have successfully impersonated Dan?

“Lucifer…” I choked. Trixie, Trixie, Trixie, Trixie. She’s in danger.

Lucifer pulled me into my arms, and steered me towards the car, all the while stroking my arms and whispering reassurances. He was saying it over and over again. With his mouth and his mind both.

_I’ll get her back._

He drove me back to Lux, and brought me to the penthouse. He settled me into his bed, covered me with his blanket, then knelt in front of me.

“Listen to me, Detective.” I looked at him, unshed tears threatening to fall.

“I am the Devil.” He said. I looked at him blankly.

“I am The Devil,” he continued, “and you have power over me. I have an army of demons that could scour the Earth, and you are my bonded. We will find our Beatrice, I promise you.”

He lifted a hand, and stroked my cheek tenderly. He leaned forward and kissed my forehead.

_I promise you._


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for taking so long!!! This is a short chapter to tide everyone over, but rest assured I will finish this fanfiction eventually. Just be patient with me!

_I promise you._

I promised the detective, over and over. I repeated it in my mind so she can keep hearing it. I have to find Beatrice. I _will _find Beatrice. Whatever means I use, whatever methods I choose, even if…even if the Detective ends up hating me…I gulped. Let’s not go there. She won’t hate me…she _won’t_!

I closed my eyes, and casted my consciousness down into hell. Fallen or not, I have always been able to speak to demons telepathically. In this instance, it was a very convenient skill. There is one thing different now though…the Detective can hear everything…

_Dromos_

I called. He’s my third in command. And they are all demons, which means they serve whoever is strongest. I’ve shown them what I was capable of when I was weakened with torture and emotional hurt, that made me their Alpha for life. Now, even if I’m vulnerable, they will still be absolutely obedient to me. Which is also why the Detective would be able to command them effortlessly.

_Yes Master?_

I heard his reply. Only Maze had the privilege to be treated as a confidant. Even though he was my third in command, he knew he was still only a servant in the scheme of things.

_Bring everyone of our guards up, get our puppies. My daughter was taken, and I intend to get her back. Get over here…now!_

I practically felt his salute as he affirmed my orders and carried them out. I looked over at the Detective and saw her staring into space, tear tracks still visible, and a cause of heartache for me. I took a deep breath, and took out my phone to call Maze and Linda. I’ve never been able to telepathically speak to Maze, and I attributed it to my trust in her, and the lack of need to monitor her from far distances. The Detective would appreciate Linda’s presence. She’s good at comforting people.

I glanced at the Detective again, and felt more than heard another living being appearing in the penthouse.

“Dromos” I turned around, and saw my loyal servant kneeling on one knee before me.

“Where are they?” I asked.

“Nearby.” He answered. I closed my eyes and cast my consciousness around, and indeed found millions of presences in the back of my mind. Yea…they’re all here. I left Dromos kneeling, and walked towards the Detective, kneeling before her.

I heard a gasp behind me, and a lot of those in the back of my mind. Now they know my status with the Detective.

“Detective?” I ventured cautiously. I never want her to be upset with me. Interrupting her thoughts when she’s this out of it might incur her wrath, but I needed to let her know the plan. She raised her eyes to make eye contact, and I explained the circumstances.

“I need something of Beatrice’s, so my Demons can track her.” I hated asking this of her, to give up something as precious as Beatrice’s belongings, but I needed it so that the demons could start searching. I pled with her with my eyes.

She sighed, and I stiffened. She’s getting upset…she’s getting angry. Just…just stay still and let her take it out on me. She’d never hurt me, I know, but it’s an extenuating situation now. She’s allowed to lose it.

She lifted her right hand, and I squeezed my eyes shut. I heard some rustling, and then felt her knuckles on my left cheek. I started and opened my eyes, and met her all too understanding ones. I looked down at her open palm when she motioned me to, and I saw a silver necklace, with a small crystal…not exactly crystal…it looked like…a bead?

“Beatrice gave this to me 2 years ago, she made this herself as a gift for my birthday. Is that too long ago for the scent to hold?” Oh…she gave me what I needed…I gingerly lifted the necklace from her palm, and locked my eyes onto hers.

“I promise.” I repeated out loud.

She stroked my cheek again, right at that same spot as just a few moments ago.

“I know.” She said softly, and gave me a brittle smile.

I gave the necklace to my demons, and they started searching. They had a formation, and they were systematically searching the island high and low. It was a Wednesday, we still had time. Gerald Oaks only ships his cargo on Mondays. We have time.

I sat beside the detective, and stroked her hair, whispering assurances to her as she shivered. She’s scared. It wasn’t long before I fell asleep. It had been a long day. I dealt with Amenadiel in the wee hours of dawn, explained to the Detective of her powerful status, and fretted over the douche’s attitude. I didn’t mean to, but I was just…so, so tired.

The Detective didn’t sleep though, although she must be more tired than me. I felt her shifting me so my heads in her lap, but even though I know that happened…I just couldn’t peel my eyes open. Not when she was absentmindedly stroking my forehead like that.

Not ten minutes later, I felt a demon materialized in front of us. The Detective stopped her ministrations for a moment, but she quickly resumed as she spoke to the demon.

“What is it?”

“Who are you to question me?” The aggressive response alerting me immediately, but the Detective applied some pressure on my forehead, and I stayed on her lap.

“I…I’m sorry Ma’am! I didn’t realise…I…I came to report my findings to the Lord.” I heard the demon say. He must have looked up to see her connection to me.

“What is it?” The Detective asked again, calm, and quiet, and it makes it that much scarier. I’m just content she wasn’t using that voice with me.

“We’ve found traces of her scent near the coast, in one of the ships.” She fisted my hair when she heard that, and I winced. She loosened her hold instantly.

“Well! What are we waiting for?” She all but snapped at the demon.

“We wanted to know our orders before acting, Ma’am. The Master only told us to find her.” The Detective pondered on her answer, before answering, surprising me with her ease at taking command over the demons.

“Select a fleet to join us, we’ll be retrieving my daughter personally.” She ordered.


	26. Chapter 26

The elevator dinged as I gently nudged Lucifer’s head off my lap. He obliged and sat up.

“Where.is.those._vermin_?” A female growl sounded from the direction of the elevator. I looked up and saw Maze storming in, holding a dagger, ready to stab at whoever’s her enemy. Linda walked in after her, and I raised my eyebrows at her.

_What is she doing?_

She shrugged helplessly in reply.

“Maze.” Lucifer warned. Maze snapped her attention at him, and narrowed her eyes.

“You’ve bonded.” She said, and Lucifer only nodded. Maze’s eyes switched between Lucifer and me, before sighing in exasperation and rolling her eyes.

“So what’s going on? You texted me and said the little human was taken. Where is she?” She asked, and I steeled myself to say the words.

“Someone took her, someone who looked like Dan and managed to trick Trixie and her teacher into _believing_ he was Dan, took her. We’re going after her right now.” I looked at Linda, “Will you stay here in case we need your help when we get her back?”

Linda nodded her head readily, “Of course.”

Dromos walked up to me at that moment, standing at a respectful distance unobtrusively. I turned my attention towards him, and he said, “The fleet is ready, my Lady.” I hummed an acknowledgement, and grabbed Lucifer by the hand.

“Coming, Maze?” I asked, she growled in response and I grinned. Whoever took my daughter has _no idea_ who’s coming after her.

I looked back at Lucifer, and nodded. He wrapped his left hand around my waist, held my head with his right against his chest, and I heard a whoosh and felt a breeze, and he let me go. I looked around, and I’m standing in a field of huge containers. I can hear the water nearby, we’re at the harbor. The fleet of demons were standing in straight four rows just a few metres behind Lucifer, and Maze was standing on his right, slightly behind him. I stared at the army I’ve raised for Trixie…no, _my_ army that I’ve raised for Trixie, then looked up at Lucifer. He stared back at me with so much intensity I couldn’t breathe.

_This_ is what he meant by ruling hell. Having an army at my beck and call, absolute obedience and loyalty. Lucifer lifted his chin at the direction behind me, and I just _knew _he was pointing towards my daughter’s direction. Right at this moment, I realized that if I turn around and march towards that direction, I would be leading the fleet or demons, and the Devil, to rescue my daughter. Like a General…like a Queen…

_You can do this, Darling. _

I heard Lucifer’s voice in my head. I stared up into his eyes, and I saw the trust and loyalty reflected in their light. I took a deep breath, thought of my daughter, and turned around swiftly, deftly, like a soldier, like a mother here to rescue her girl. And I took a step forward, and another, and another, and then I heard Lucifer’s steps right behind me, and a set of synchronized steps of many people…demons…and I continued marching towards my goal.

We reached a cluster of ships parked by the harbor, and I glanced at Dromos. He came up to me smartly, right to my left hand side, back slightly bent in a bow, and murmured to me which ship I should look in. I took Lucifer’s hands, and pulled him to my side.

“Stay with me.” I whispered.

_“Always_.” He replied with his lips and his mind. And we walked on side by side, towards the ship that held my daughter.

We paused when we were right at it’s entrance, and stared up at it. I looked at Lucifer, and he looked at me. I saw determination as bright as mine shining in his eyes, and then I looked back at the ship, and took a step forward again. Lucifer right by my side, as he promised. And our army right behind us.

We stormed through the ship, not encountering anyone, and together, we checked each room we came across. It seemed like the ship was empty, and I started to get anxious. What if we got the wrong ship? What if…they’ve already left? Lucifer grabbed my hand, and squeezed.

_I can sense her…Beatrice. She’s here, I’m sure of it. We’ll find her._

And I took a deep breath, calming my racing heart, and we continued our search.

2 hours later, we were standing in front of a door, metal, with a lot of security locks. Every single room was empty, and this was the last door on the ship. I stared at the lock, and grinned. Did they think they could escape my wrath by hiding behind this pathetic door?

“Maze.” I purred, never knowing I could do that. I gestured towards the door, and she stepped out and smirked before giving the metal door a swift kick. The door came off its hinges whole, falling inside with a loud thud. And in front of us, stand three men raising their weapons at us, and six other men standing in a cluster in a corner of the room, pointing their weapons at a large group of children. I mentally gasp as I took in the number, there are so many of these kids here. 50…60…no…a hundred? And I started to seethe.

_Where’s Beatrice?_

Lucifer’s thoughts matched mine exactly. Where’s my darling?

I narrowed my eyes as I surveyed the room, and then…I saw. Gerald Oaks, holding my daughter by her shoulder, pressing a gun at her temple, smirking at me, smug as hell.

“Trixie? Darling?” I looked over my daughter, “Are you hurt?”

“N…no mommy!” Her voice wet and trembling, she was so brave.

“Mommy’s going to get you out of here ok?” I tried to reassure her, “You’ll be fine.”

Oaks chuckled, and I clenched my fists. He doesn’t believe my army could defeat his miserable group of weaklings.

I took a step forward, and the three men before us all pointed their guns right at me. Lucifer growled, and in two seconds, the three men were no longer there. I turned to Lucifer in confusion, and he explained in his mind.

_They were knocked out and taken outside to the deck. They’ll be watched. Don’t worry._

So easily? That quickly? I didn’t see anything!

“Wha…what the…where did they go?” One of the men pointing their weapons at the children asked in shock. Before Gerald Oaks could say anything, I interrupted.

“Take him out as well.” I commanded. And two seconds later, he vanished as well. I stared the other five men holding their weapons down, and I saw them gulp. I smirked, and lifted my chin at them.

“Them too.” And they vanished.

The children made no noise at all. They watched what was happening without being spooked by the people right in front of them disappearing into thin air.

“Bring the children out, make sure they are okay.” Two demons broke ranks and walked towards the children at normal speed.

“S…stop right there! Or I will shoot her!” Gerald Oaks shouted, finally opening his mouth. I turned my attention back at him, unable to tear it back away again. Lucifer had his eyes on him before, and I could deal with the children first…but now…

Lucifer growled, and I seethed. _How dare he threaten my daughter?_

“Maze.” I called. She has been unusually quiet throughout the whole process, but I knew she wanted my darling safe as much as I do. She stepped forward, and Oaks stammered another warning.

I blinked, and Trixie is not in Oaks grasp anymore, but in my arms, which I instinctively curled around her, carrying her as I would when she was a toddler. I cradled her and I hugged her close to me, and I left the room, leaving Maze and Lucifer with the person who caused all this trouble.

“You’re not hurt? You’re sure?” I murmured against her hair as I peppered kisses on her. She held onto my neck, tight, and shook her head against my chest. I heard her sniff, and the fury I could still feel in my bones started boiling again.

I walked out to the deck, and looked at the pile of unconscious men. I held Trixie against myself, not wanting her to see the scene, and I walked back and forth, rocking and humming, hoping to calm Trixie down as soothingly as possible. Who knows what they did to her while she was in their grasp?

Trixie fell asleep soon enough, and Maze walked out, surprisingly clean, and without blood on her.

“Your turn.” She said, and held out her hands. I passed Trixie over, made sure she was still sleeping soundly, before I turned and walked back into the room. And as I walked over, I made another command.

“Bring those guys too.”

When I reached the room, all the men holding the children hostage were already there, kneeling in a row, each with one of my demons standing over them. Lucifer was standing over Gerald Oaks in a similar way.

“Lucifer…” and he gave me his full attention, I smiled and requested, “could you please…close the door.”

He grinned and nodded, and walked towards me, and I stared at Oaks as Lucifer moved. I saw his hands twitch, and his eyes darted across the room. I knew what he was going to do before he did it. I swiped at Lucifer’s pockets as he brushed past me, and threw what I held at Oaks the moment he moved.

_Good_. My aim is still as accurate as ever. The flask I threw hit Oaks square at his groin, and he dropped back to his knees with a groan, and the flask popped open, spilling alcohol around him. I smiled.

I walked towards him, and he looked up at me, hatred clear in his eyes. I smirked.

“Lucifer darling?” I called. And he replied with a questioning hum.

“Do you have a lighter?” I asked.

“Sorry Detective…” I frowned in disappointment, “…but I don’t need one to conjure fire.” My frown turned upside down.

“See Gerald? You think you outsmart everyone, especially those whom you took those children from. What you don’t know…is what I’m capable of. See that pool of liquid you’re kneeling in? Hmmm? That’s alcohol…_flammable_ alcohol. And do you know which part it’ll start burning first?” He only glared at me, thought I could see the cogs in his mind turning, thinking hard about what I’m saying. My smile only stretched further.

“You see, judging from the area of the proximity, and amount of alcohol in contact, the fire, if started, would start burning…from.your.dick.” His eyes widened, and I grinned, satisfied. He’s scared…_good_.

He made to stand up again, but before I could say anything, Lucifer is already back at his position and he yanked the pathetic worm back down by his shoulder. Oaks fell back down on his knees with a thud.

“Now…I’m going to ask you a few questions, and you’re going to answer every single of my questions. But…let’s make this a game.” I stepped back a little so I can see the other kneeling men as well.

“If any of you can answer my questions to my satisfaction, I will kill you mercifully. If, however, Gerald here answers with a crappy answer…” I looked around and set my eyes on one man, smug and smirking at me as if he didn’t understand his predicament. I stared at him.

“Get him over here.” And he appeared right before me swiftly.

“You don’t believe me, do you?” I asked.

“Of course I don’t. You’re a cop, you won’t kill anyone.” And out of the corner of my eyes, I saw multiple men perk up. I smirked at him. Just when I didn’t know who to make an example out of…

“His yammering is annoying me…” I pursed my lips. The demon in charge of him immediately grabbed hold of his hair, yanking his head backwards, and out of nowhere produced a needle and steel threads…and he began sewing, having no trouble absolutely holding the man down at the same time. I watched with gruesome satisfaction. I had no idea what would happen, but this was definitely it. The demon under my command…was sewing the man’s lips together.

I looked up at the other men, and they watched with morbid horror. I caught Lucifer’s eye, and he smiled at me like I didn’t just order a man’s mouth sewn shut. Well…I didn’t, exactly, and I enabled it.

I cleared my throat, and continued.

“Anyone else would like to express any doubts on my ability to break the law?” I didn’t know myself, that I would condone such behavior from myself. But that was my daughter, and I just knew, none in this room would judge me.

“_Who_ are you?” Oaks gasped, his eyes wide with horror.

“Dromos~~” I sang, and he materialized right beside me, “Show him who you _really _are.”

Dromo’s face melted into a rotten skeleton’s face, and I heard multiple screams. I furrowed my eyebrows, and Lucifer barked something in a language I’ve never him speak, and the screams stopped. Each man were held with daggers at their necks, and they trembled in fear as they stared at Dromos’s face.

“Thank you Dromos.” I dismissed the demon, and he vanished.

“Y…you’re a monster!” Oaks gasped. Lucifer dug his dagger deeper into his neck, and I chuckled.

“No…on the contrary…I’m the most human here.” I seethed, then looked at the other men, “Now answer my questions, and you’ll be allowed a quick death.”

I turned back to Oaks, “But you…you’re _special_. You may choose two routes: interrogation, torture, then jail, or interrogation, torture, psychology ward. Your choice, not mine.”


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh gosh! I know it has been such a long time since I last updated! I've written and rewritten this chapter multiple times, and it took me so many tries to get it to a point where I feel it steers in the correct direction. The next chapter might take some time as well, because we're well into the next part of the story where Chloe discovers her powers, and we take on Amenadiel, and essentially the rest of heaven. Oops! Spoilers! But yea! I'm quite happy with how this chapter turned out, and I know it's too short for such a long wait. I'll try and cut the waiting time in future updates. I hope you guys enjoy this one!

“Wha…what are you?” the pathetic little shit stammered. I stood passively as I awaited the Detective’s next order. We all were. I could feel the contentment and astonishment of each and every demon with us, and every other watching through the telepathic link.

They were impressed…more than impressed. My darling is so beautiful, especially when she confidently took the reigns of hell in her hands and commanded us so absolutely. Lovely. Perfect. Like a _Queen_.

“Well…you don’t think I’d let you off for taking my child, did you?” She taunted him like it was in her nature.

“Maze,” she called, and Mazikeen appeared before her as she has done for me countless time, “hold onto Oaks. I want Lucifer by my side.” She raised her right hand towards me as she said that, and my heart skipped a couple beats. She wanted me by her side…she was _inviting_ me to stand by her side…as an equal, as a team.

I walked towards her, noticing subconsciously how Maze took my place behind Oaks. I stretched my hand and held hers as gently as I could. I never want to be a source of discomfort to her, or restriction. I brought her hands up to my lips and kissed her knuckles and stepped to her right and stood by her side.

“Now then…first question.” The Detective paused dramatically, and I saw each man kneeling in the room tense in anticipation, “How did you trick my daughter into believing you were her father?”

Oaks pursed his lips, and clenched his fists, but he stayed silent. The Detective turned towards the other men, “Any of you have anything to add? Hmmm?” She was flourishing in her role. I couldn’t help but feel completely entranced at her performance. The men shuddered in fear though, and I totally understand. If I was on their end…

They still stayed steadfastly silent, however, and I could feel the Detective’s impatience. She frowned, and motioned at Maze, “Maze? Do something.”

Quickly, Maze drew her favourite weapon and swiftly stabbed Oaks in his right arm, right in the elbow. Oaks screamed in obvious pain, and the men flinched at the scene. The Detective remained impassive though, only slightly turning her attention to one of the men. She locked eyes with the demon holding him, and beckoned him over. They were right in front of us immediately, man still kneeling, demon still in attention hovering right over the kneeling worm.

“Now, you should know, I believe in second chances. Your boss has failed to answer my question satisfactorily. So…I’m giving you a choice.” Our demon placed his knife right at the man’s ear, digging in a little to make his point.

“If you give me enough information, I will let you off the ship. But if you cannot satisfy me…well…let’s just say you might lose some body parts.”

He stared at the Detective for a moment, before his mouth opened like a dam.

“I…I don’t know much! B…but the boss have been having meetings with a black guy since two days ago. Tall, very muscular, looked dangerous! That’s all I know!” I shouldn’t be surprised. Amenadiel never took no for an answer. But threatening the life of hell’s princess? Did he have a death wish? I feared Amenadiel for the longest time of my life, but right at this moment, anger took over my senses. _How could he?_

The Detective nodded at the demon, and the man was brought out of the room. _Should he be let go? _I asked the Detective in my mind. She turned and looked at me intensely, and I reopened our mental link.

_Let him leave the ship, then capture him and keep him safely contained. I’m arresting him. _

I nodded, although I didn’t really know how she was gong to pull that off. These people now knew the Detective was capable of torturing them. How was she going to keep her hands clean? No matter, she would come to no harm, and I had the resources to keep her safe. I cut the link off to keep her privacy.

The rest of the men looked on with widened eyes. In their perspective, their friend had just been let go. They would be more motivated to give us information now.

“Now,” The Detective grinned, “who else have information for me?”

It was a couple hours later when we’ve gone through each man except Oaks. We haven’t learnt much, but we know now that Amenadiel had a part to play in Beatrice’s abduction, but we also now have a witness to Oaks’ works in children smuggling, logbooks to confirm his finances, even a direct witness to Oaks leaving the Ames’ house on the day of the murder from his driver that day. We have enough to nail Oaks in the investigation. It was a bonus that we received enough information to know Amenadiel’s hand as well. We contained all the men, and there was only Oaks and three of us left in the room.

“Gerald Oaks,” The Detective started, moving forward to stand right in front of the pitiful man, sobbing in fear yet holding onto his deceptive dignity, glaring at us as if that would make his plight less pathetic, and I moved along with her, “you are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in court…”

Oaks laughed hysterically in response, cutting the Detective off. I scowled at his poor manners, but the Detective placed a hand on my arm, and I subsided.

“You really think you can get away with this? You’re a cop! You tortured and threatened each and every one of us! Who’s to say I cannot cut a deal with another Detective by testifying against you?”

I could feel my spine stiffen at his words. How _dare_ he threaten my love! I growled lowly and I saw him flinch, but I only calmed when I felt the Detective squeeze my arm in warning. I snapped my eyes to hers, and saw her disapproval clearly. I lowered my sight and bowed my head in submission. It was her show, her performance, her revenge. I shouldn’t have displayed my displeasure when she had more of a right to do so than me. Suitably chastised, I stood quietly as she continued her…conversation…with Oaks.

“Have you guessed what all my people are, Oaks?” She asked, innocently sounding, but I didn’t dare look up to observe her expression.

“Demons, the lot of you.” He spat. I stiffened again at his disrespect, but I remained still, unwilling to risk anymore of the Detective’s wrath. She was already in a bad mood, her daughter had been abducted, and she had to lead a horde of demons to save her, then she had to torture and maim so many people. I shouldn’t have added to her stress.

“Oh! No no no no. _They_ are demons. The two of us? We’re not. In fact, do you know who leads demons?” I heard a scuffle, and I glimpsed up a little to make sure everything was fine.

“_No._”

“_Yes_! The Devil leads them. Now I’m not sure how much literature is on the subject, but I’m willing to bet humans’ perception of the devil is a male. Now this…_very handsome man_ here is the devil. Darling, show him your face, please.” I started as the Detective raised her hand to tuck her fingers into my hair. I changed my form instantly at her command.

Oaks let out a pitiful choked up scream the moment I shifted, but I couldn’t care less. The Detective was handling everything with an ease I never had, and her hand was still on my scalp.

“Now, this devil here, is the Lord of Hell, but here he is, doing everything I ask.” I felt more than saw the air around the Detective change from a dangerously friendly atmosphere to something glacial and fierce.

“_Do you think you can threaten me with anything at all?” _

The pathetic worm let out a despairing whimper, and I scoffed in disgust. The Detective tapped me on my scalp for my efforts, and I grinned at her admonishment. She was such an amazing person. I switched my face back to my suave self, and wrapped myself around her torso from behind, taking liberties I knew I wouldn’t dare just moments ago. She might have taken the command over my demons, but she was only scaring me to make a point to Oaks, I know that now. I whispered into her ear, “Let’s go home.”

She grinned as well, tilting her head to look up at me, pulling my head down to brush her lips against mine. I sighed in contentment as she nodded in agreement. She sent Maze to handle all the witnesses and our caught murderer, and we left the room in search of our little girl, cradling her as I flew both of them back to the Detective’s house.

I followed the Detective as she tucked the spawn in, observing them at the entrance of her room.

_Master._ Dromos.

_Hmm?_

_Everything has been taken care of. Mazikeen also said to set your mind at ease about informing someone called Dan. Your orders? _

_Has our Queen given any orders?_

_No, Master. _

_Send a couple of our best to guard the Queen and our heir. Set up a roster. Keep me updated at all times. The rest of you, go home. _

_As you wish._

I refocused my attention to the present, and saw the Detective standing before me, staring at me worriedly. I smiled at her to appease her worry.

“Just giving the demons some last orders, Detective.” She smiled at me softly, raising her hand to stroke my cheek tenderly, and I leaned into her touch instantly. I kissed her palm in response, and she dropped her hand to grab mine, and led me to her room. As before, she guided me to change, and to lay down comfortably, and I cuddled against her the moment she climbed in after me. I took a deep breath of her scent, burying my nose in her neck, and she let me.

“Night darling.” I said softly.

“Thank you, Lucifer.” I hummed in question. Why was she thanking me?

“Thank you, for finding Trixie. I love you. Goodnight.” I held my breath at her words, turning to look at her. Her brows were relaxed, she had a soft smile on her face, but her breathing evened out and she was already deeply asleep. She said _she loved me._ I swallowed and stared at her beautiful face. _She loved me_. I hugged her closer, and closing my eyes, I let my tears drop. Now I understood what she meant when she said there could be happy tears. I didn’t think I could be happier than I was right at that moment. She had said it before, multiple times in fact. Particular during the argument we had in the car. Yet, in those moments, I have never felt the intensity of her words as I have now. And I realized, I never believed her. I believed her promise, and her bond with me, but I have never believed she could ever love someone as unlovable as me. Today…today she led my troops into battle, called me the Lord of Hell before our enemy and took her place as my Queen so effortlessly. She was not ashamed of me, of afraid of me. She was…my bonded, in every sense of the word. I let out a quiet shaking sob, and tried extremely hard to not wake the Detective up. She has had the worse day ever. I let my eyelids fall, and I sank into the thrall of sleep.


	28. Chapter 28

# Chapter 28

I came to with an enduring sense of peace. As I blinked my sleep away, I mentally accounted for all the people I cared about. Trixie was sleeping in her room, where I laid her down the night before. Lucifer was snuggling right up my stomach, arms circling me in an insecure grip, face half buried in the covers and hair curly as it always was in the mornings. Mae had said something about Dan last night, and Linda…oh.

Linda had stayed over at the penthouse, where we told her to, expecting her expertise to be needed when we brought Trixie back. We’ve forgotten all about her and left her there without even telling her Trixie had been found safe and sound. That was irresponsible, completely unacceptable. I shouldn’t treat a friend this way. I sat up and brush my hair across my head with my fingers, irritated. I look to the right to see my phone lying on the side table and I stretched over to grab it, careful not to jostle my darling Devil. I quickly brought up Linda’s number and called her.

“Hello? Chloe? It’s a little early isn’t it? Do you need help again?” Linda answered with a languid tone, soft and sincere, but accompanied with a yawn. I open and closed my mouth in confusion, before summoning enough wits to respond.

“Linda? I…sorry I forgot to call last night. We found Trixie. Are you still at the penthouse?” I tried to talk as softly as I could. Guilt bubbled up my chest as I thought about how she must have worried through the night. She didn’t sound worried though…and that baffled me.

“Oh! Don’t worry about it. Lucifer sent one of his demons over. Scared the shit out of me haha! But he told me what happened and left…like poof, and he’s gone. I’m still having trouble wrapping my head around it, but…yea. He did say I was welcome to stay over at the penthouse though, so I slept here.” Oh! Lucifer’s handled it. I didn’t really notice Lucifer sending a demon over to Linda, mentally or otherwise, but I was pretty preoccupied myself, missing a few details wouldn’t surprise me. I made a mental note to ask Lucifer about it, and quickly ended the call with Linda, letting her catch up on her sleep.

I turned my head slightly to look at Lucifer, and saw his half-covered eyes staring at me blearily. I stroked a few strands of his hair away from his face, as tenderly as I could, before leaning down to drop a kiss on his temple. He sighed in contentment before bracing himself on his elbows on either side of me, sliding his knees below him and sitting up.

“Morning Detective.” He greeted with that sleepy yawn colouring his words, right hand raised halfway to cover his mouth as his left mussed up his hair. I grinned at the adorable look, who knew a sleepy Devil could be so cute?

“Morning Darling.” I returned his greeting, “Did you send a demon to Linda last night? I didn’t notice.”

“Hmm? Yea, I did. I almost forgot and fell asleep, but I woke up again after to do it. Dromos has decided to stay to command our guards, so he went there himself.” Lucifer explained.

_I would kill for some pancakes right now. I should go make some. Would the urchin want some? I should probably set up an appointment with Linda for the poor little critter. Yesterday cannot have been easy on her._

I felt my lips twitch at how Lucifer lapse to speaking with his mind when he was half awake. He seemed really comfortable with that particular method of communication. I could really see the advantages of being able to speak to each other without anyone else hearing it. We should probably test it though. What was the range? How far can we go from each other before the link fades? Actually, other than commanding angels, and being recognized as the Queen of Hell, I didn’t feel that much different. The emotional link between us was new, but I found myself adapting faster than I thought I would.

“Yes, that might be a good idea. Call her when you can. Yes to the pancakes too. Blueberries! I love the blueberries you did last time. Make those again!” I called after him as he got up and went into the bathroom. I grinned at his state. He was a lot less frantic when he was half asleep. In fact, there was an underlying difference in the way he acted around me presently. He didn’t seem as afraid, or as…panicky…as he normally would be when I gave him a semi- faux- command. I told him to make pancakes, and he wasn’t falling over himself to get it done? He was gracefully slipping down from the bed and going into the bathroom to wash up before he followed my directions. That was very new.

I frowned as I thought back to the events of the previous day. I was scared shitless when I learnt of Trixie’s abduction, but the speed with which Lucifer rallied the demons and the way we marched into the ship, that was exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. But I felt as if I was missing something, something just out of reach, something I could do myself that wasn’t a byproduct of my bond with Lucifer. I felt it when I asked Maze to do something and she stabbed Oaks in his arm, and I felt it again when I threatened Oaks with my familiarity with the Devil. It was right there, just beyond reach, and it frustrated me no end that I still didn’t have it in my grasp.

I looked up as Lucifer reentered the room after washing himself up, his hair back to the sleek, neat do, and his suit – however he managed to get the outfit while in my bathroom – clung onto his shape smartly. I let my eyes wander over his body, appreciating his graceful movements as he fixed his cufflinks into place.

“Like what you see?” The darling flirted with a shyness that contradicted his words. I grinned at his confidence to even voice the sentence anyway, very happy he felt comfortable to tease. I chuckled as his embarrassment registered in my mind.

“I _love_.” And he beamed, taking my breath away. I couldn’t help it, I had to slide across the bed to the other side, Lucifer taking the few steps to meet me at the end, and I pulled him down to catch him in a kiss. I smiled against his lips, pleased with the feelings of joy riding up my spine. It was intoxicating. I pecked him on the lips again, before I pulled away, and Lucifer let his lips form the predictable pout. I laughed as I nudged him towards the door as I slipped into the bathroom to begin my own morning routine.

I skipped my way to the kitchen, unable to shake the happiness I was feeling. Lucifer’s emotions were affecting me quite a lot, and I knew how muffled I feel them. The unending jubilation I felt coursing through me nearly knocked me off my feet when I caught his eyes. _What was up with him?_ I shook my head as I puzzled over it, but it didn’t feel like a bad thing. I wouldn’t begrudge him the few moments of happiness he felt just because it was overflowing to me. I gazed at his sinuous muscles as he flipped the pan multiple times, producing perfect pancake after perfect pancake. Was the desire to thoroughly devour him a side effect of his emotions as well? Because I have been feeling that since he woke up, and I couldn’t stop undressing him in my mind. He turned around to face me, and I felt his pleasant surprise at seeing me sitting right behind him.

_God, she’s perfect._

I raised my eyebrows, and he blushed. I giggled as he served the pancakes. Well…the arousal came from myself I guessed. He didn’t seem to be thinking about me naked in any way at all. Both of us turned towards the same direction as we heard the soft pitter patter of small feet. Trixie has woken up, and the atmosphere turned somber. What I found astonishing was how the underlying happiness I felt from Lucifer never faded. Sure, it was muted when the thoughts of what happened to Trixie came up, but it was still so irrevocably, conspicuously, permanently _there_.

Trixie stumbled a little as she walked in, holding her favourite stuffed toy clutched against her chest and one of hands rubbing her eyes sleepily. I rose from my seat and took the few steps over so I could bend over and pick her up.

“Hey babe, how was your sleep?” I asked, dreading the answer but unable to stop myself from wanting to know anyway. Did she sleep well? Did she have any nightmares? She was at the age where she didn’t come to me when she had nightmares, preferring instead to ride it out on her own. In her own brave way, she was trying to be more independent, to put my mind at ease as I go around catching dangerous criminals. I regretted the burden I’ve unwittingly put on her shoulders, thinking back to my days as a child, trying desperately to make my own world make sense as I had to take on the role of being the adult. I never wanted to make Trixie feel that way, to feel as if she had to grow up faster than she had to, but I did anyway, and the guilt was eating at me. The separation between Dan and myself couldn’t have helped.

“I had some nightmares…” She started, and I could feel my frown forming in upset, “but Lucifer chased them away for me, so I feel fine.” Wait…what? I turned towards Lucifer, questioning him with my eyes. He smiled at me sadly.

_She woke crying a couple times, love. I calmed her down and put her back to sleep._

Oh, gratefulness filled my heart as I realized what happened. Trixie made a point to not come to me, but my exhaustion made me difficult to wake, especially when the sounds are coming as far away as Trixie’s room. The Devil must have exceptional hearing, however, because he must have heard it through all the doors in between, and made his way over to offer comfort that Trixie needed. I was torn between giving Trixie the autonomy she should have, and not making her promise to come find me when she needed, although she had no qualms breaking her promises like every other kid her age anyway. Lucifer went to her instead, and in the face of everything that happened, Lucifer was even more suitable to be a parent than me if I compare the different ways we handle Trixie. Lucifer offers strength, guidance, patience, a listening ear and even protection. I held Trixie close to me, closing my eyes to breathe her scent in, needing to feel her body heat and her pulse suddenly.

I opened my eyes to see Lucifer reading a text from his phone. He looked up at me and offered an explanation.

_Linda says she’s available this morning. _I nodded slightly, and Lucifer went about finishing our breakfast.

“Darling, what do you say we skip school today? Hmm?” I inquired softly, padding back towards the table and setting her down on her seat and sitting beside her. Lucifer pushed our plates before us and took a seat opposite us as well.

“Ok.” Trixie answered, but she still seemed quite upset, and I worried. I stroked her forehead with my thumb, “Is it ok if I bring you to Linda this morning?”

Trixie frowned in confusion, and I elaborated, “I’d like you to see her as a therapist, babe.”

“Oh…” I couldn’t help but be perplexed with her lack of response, and I beat the emotion down ruthlessly. Trixie didn’t need me telling her how to respond to trauma. “Do you think I’m going crazy?”

“Urchin!” Lucifer exclaimed before I could even form a response, “you are _not _crazy!”

“But you want me to see a therapist. My friends said that’s who all the crazy people meet.” She stated matter-of-factly, as if she was ok with being crazy, and that scared me the most.

Lucifer stared at her intensely, maintaining eye contact, until Trixie dropped her gaze.

“Do you think _I _am crazy?” Lucifer asked abruptly. Trixie silently shook her head.

“I see Linda as a therapist, if what your friends said were the truth, then I must be crazy.” Lucifer continued, as if Trixie never responded. The atmosphere was tense, I could feel the sense of peace that I had been enjoying crumbling, feeling the panic that was definitely my own rising up my throat. Have all these supernatural bullshit started to take a toll on my daughter’s life and mental health? For the life of me, I couldn’t understand the ever-existing happiness still running in the background. How could Lucifer still feel that in such an environment?

My attention snapped back to Trixie as she took a sharp breath, and I stared, amazed, as she pulled herself together and her features filled with resolve and determination.

“Then they’re wrong.” She decided. As simple as that, she refuted her friends’ claims as if they weren’t what children deemed the most important normally, as if to her, her friends’ opinions didn’t matter as it were to other children. Her expression reminded me of my dad, whenever he decided what was the right thing to do, and whenever he gave me the best advice. The uncanny similarity formed a lump in my throat. She wasn’t a child anymore, not mentally at least. She had grown up, and even if I still thought it was too young for her, she has decided her own path, and she flourished under Lucifer’s tutelage. Dan’s betrayal and Lucifer’s companionship has shaped her future, and I could see how she would grow into a formidable woman. I mourned the lost of her childhood, and yet, I was _so proud of her._ I reached out to hug her as Lucifer gave a single solemn nod before breaking into a grin.

We spent some time finishing our breakfast, all of us in our own thoughts, gathering our wits as we prepared ourselves for the day ahead. We would need to plan our next course of action. Amenadiel’s involvement cannot be so shallow. He has been trying to get to me for a while, and Lucifer has repelled his every attempt. This time, he hired help and endangered my daughter, who was to say the deranged Angel wouldn’t hurt anyone else. Everyone I cared about were at risk, hell, even the random innocent civilian would be my weakness if I knew myself at all. We need to make him stop.

The first half of the day went by quickly. Trixie went into Linda’s office with hesitant but determined steps, and came out sure and confident once more. She was so strong, and Linda agreed. We made arrangements to discuss our problems at Lucifer’s penthouse before we left, and decided to just spend the day safe and secure there before Linda came about. Lucifer was an angel throughout the day. He gently pecked me on the lips any chance he got, and even played the piano at Trixie’s request. Frozen’s ‘Let It Go’ had never had such great accompaniment. He adapted the whole melody and still managed to make it sound like the original. His musical talent never ceased to amaze me.

Trixie, like the trooper she was, spent the day harassing Lucifer as if the Devil was her favourite plush toy. She clung to him, climbing on top of him, grabbing his legs, hanging off his arms. It was fascinating to see them together. They’ve become closer than before in the span of one night, and I’ve never been more grateful for a more considerate lover. Bless the Lord of Hell, he was so patient with her.

By the time they’ve tired themselves out, both of them have joined me in front of the television, not watching whatever was on at all. Instead, we all basked in each other’s presence.

“Mommy?” Trixie asked. I hummed in question, and she told me something that made this moment unforgettable.

“Lucifer’s the devil, and you’re his Queen. That would always put me at risk. But I promise, I won’t be scared anymore. I trust both of you, and knowing how Lucifer’s family treated him, I don’t have faith in any Gods anymore. But I have faith in Lucifer, and the love he has shown me since the day we met. If I get into trouble again, I will do whatever it takes, no matter the cost, to keep myself alive, and I will wait for Lucifer to come. So you don’t have to worry about me anymore.”

Oh…my brave, perfect little girl. I felt tears welling up and overflowing as I heard her out, registering Lucifer’s similar reaction at the corner of my eyes. I pulled her close and hugged her, and I felt Lucifer envelope us with his warmth.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another fluffy episode, which is a prelude to another arc.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! 
> 
> Gosh it's been so long haven't it? I am so sorry for keeping you guys waiting and thank you so much for the patience. Although that one comment about whether I'm still alive cracked me up a little bit ^.^ 
> 
> I'm definitely still alive, but I've been working on my sticker shop that I just opened and it has been hectic since covid-19. I'd like to add a little promo promo here and mention that my shop is called Surely Stickers, and if you'd like to check my shop out, here it is! 
> 
> [My Patreon Page](https://www.patreon.com/surelystickers)  
[My Etsy Shop](https://www.etsy.com/shop/SurelyStickers)  
[My Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/surely.stickers)  
Back to the story...
> 
> Lucifer has become more confident after the ordeal with Trixie's kidnapping, and they are going to discuss and execute their next move. As you can see, both of them are thinking of what they can do to keep Trixie safe, and their main concern at the moment is Amenediel. He'll get his soon, but be patient!!!
> 
> Also, please stay tuned!!! More is coming up!

Chloe’s POV

We were relaxing, and the day was doing so well. Exceptionally well, in fact, that I didn’t think it could last. Lucifer and Trixie had both fallen asleep on my right, my little baby tucked into the Devil’s side, with the Devil’s protective arm holding on to her like she was precious. She probably was, considering the way he reacted yesterday. Lucifer was leaning slightly towards me, pushing Trixie flush against my torso, and it kinda looked awkward, and yet they slept peacefully as if it was the most comfortable position they were in. His back was definitely going to suffer when he wakes.

I contemplated our situation while I played with Lucifer’s hair, the soft strands at his forehead, with those adorable curls and just the only ones I could reach when we have Trixie in between us. I couldn’t help the smile and silent “awwwwww!” as he huffed in semi-annoyance when I tugged his hair a little.

I found out I was the Queen of hell not too far back, and I could command angels. It definitely happened with Amenediel that day and that was entirely unexpected. I worried for a little while that Lucifer had been obeying me because of my sudden ability, but he assures me it was just my possession of his free will. I snort lightly as I figured it really didn’t make a different if I ruled by fear or if I ruled by command. Honestly…they both make me sick.

I also found out that Lucifer and I had a bond, which allowed us to hear each other’s thoughts, and feel what each other was feeling. I sighed as I realized Lucifer has been thinking of my privacy and well-being so much more than his own. He apparently could block my thoughts so I could keep my privacy…first things first, that has to change. I moved my hand to stroke his arm around Trixie, and his arm twitched a little before tightening his hold around her protectively. I sighed and relaxed my body against the two sources of warmth.

The next time I became aware, I could hear some laughter not far from me.

“Lucifer!” A tiny high-pitched voice whined, and a huff of laughter followed right laughter.

“Alright! But ask your Mom first, I’m not going to get in trouble just because you asked for it.” I smiled into the blanket that I had no idea when it was draped over me.

“Deal! Come on! Come on!”

“Sit down, urchin, and be patient! It’s almost ready!” I could already guess what was going on. As usual, Trixie has the devil wrapped around her little finger. He would do anything she wanted at this point, especially with what happened just a couple days ago. I sat up a little, not seeing them anywhere in sight. I moved the blanket away and slowly made my way to the kitchen just beyond the bend, and there they are, peering into the oven, blocking whatever it was they were looking at. I smiled fondly at the sight. It was unbelievable how happy I feel whenever I see the both of them interact. I walked over, and hearing me, Lucifer turned around, holding onto Trixie as he did, standing up straight and bringing the little hellion up with him. He smiled at me endearingly, stepped forward to kiss me on my cheek over the counter, meeting me halfway as I leaned in to offer my cheek.

“I baked a chocolate cake for the urchin,” he told me softly, “I hope you don’t mind? I did tell her she could only have it after lunch.”

_Beautiful._

I laughed joyfully. Who wouldn’t when I keep hearing flattering thoughts from my boyfriend?

“Yea, that’s fine. Pack it for her.” I turned to Trixie, “finish the nutritious lunch that I’m sure Lucifer made for you before you eat the cake okay?” Trixie nodded in agreement, grin firmly in place as if she knew I would allow her the cake right at the beginning. Who was I kidding? Of course she could have the cake.

Lucifer set Trixie down on the counter gently, facing him, “Now, stay here with your mother while I take your cake out.” He turned back towards the oven and reach in wearing some oven mitts. The cake was placed right in front of me, far enough away from Trixie, and we could smell the decadent fragrance of chocolate. Never having been so near an oven fresh chocolate cake before, this is frankly the best experience she’s had with any kind of cakes.

Lucifer held onto Trixie’s waist and carried her down, told her to go get ready for school while he got her lunch and desert ready. I could feel the fondness from him as he watched Trixie run off to her room excitedly. He looked back at me and the fondness gentled into something more. I smiled into his palm as he stroked my fringe behind my ears and cupped my cheek. It seemed whatever barriers and fears he had had before disappeared. He was freer with his actions and expressing his emotions so much more openly. Definitely talking to him about that too. I inhaled his scent for a moment, before leaning in to kiss him on the lips, surprising a sweet smile out of him before pushing away from the counter and going into the bedroom to wash up.

Lucifer POV

It was with an unfamiliar sense of peace when I woke up to a tiny body blissfully laying across my chest and a comfortable weight on my shoulder. I inhaled and sighed as I groggily blinked my eyes open. The little human snorted a little when I sat up, and I held her to my chest, maneuvering her so she sat on my lap instead of the position that might give her a broken neck. I sat her down on my other side, and as gently as I could, cradled the Detective’s head and stood up. I put her head down on the couch, placing a pillow underneath, and pulling her legs up. I looked around, locating and grabbing the thin blanket I usually had lying around before draping it over her. I turned to carry the urchin into the room, but she was already staring at me with those devious, mischievous eyes of hers. I scowled at her as I picked her up, her arms automatically going around my neck and I clutched her all the more closer. I walked into the bedroom and put her down.

“Go wash up, I’ll get some breakfast ready.” I turned, but she reached out and tugged my hands. I paused and looked back at her.

“I think I should go back to school today, Lucifer.” At her mention of school, the anxiety I had felt when she was taken came back full force, and it took me a while to get a handle of the fear.

“If it’s up to me…you wouldn’t see that god-forsaken place anymore.” I seethed as I remembered the irresponsibility of the ones the Detective put the urchin’s care in. They let someone take my little Decker! In their defense, whoever took her did look like Daniel, but I wasn’t in a charitable mood.

“Lucifer?” I paused in my inner seething and refocused on her, berating myself for not paying attention to her. She deserved all my care and protection and whatever tenderness I have left after they have been given to the Detective. 

“You’ll come for me right?” I blinked in confusion. “You’ll come for me if something like this happened again right?”

“Yes, of course. As fast as I can. Faster than I can.” I vowed. The urchin smiled, “then I can go to school feeling safe. I trust you, Lucifer.” I gulped past the lump in my throat and blinked rapidly to prevent the tears gathering in my eyes from falling. How could she be so trusting, even after I almost failed her mere nights ago. She had been trembling in fear, I saw, and yet, here she was, trusting me, comforting me.

“Alright.” I said softly as I gently pushed her towards the bathroom. I think I would like to make her some chocolate cake just for being such an endearing little human.

I hummed as I cooked and baked, listening to the Detective’s nearby snores and grinning as a particularly loud one sounded. The Detective and I would have to talk soon. Amenediel had been causing all sorts of problem, and he could not be allowed to continue. I supposed it’s good to have the urchin off in her little urchin jail as we talked. I poured the omelets onto dishes and turned to place the pan back onto the stove when I heard tiny little pitter patter steps coming around to the kitchen. I turned just in time for the urchin to collide into my thighs. I sighed and lifted her up, holding onto her as I showed her what I had in the oven for her. She gaped at the cake, then turned excitedly and so unexpectedly that she knocked me on my forehead. I frowned at her grumpily, rubbing the sore spot as I straightened before reaching out to her sides and poking her there. She squealed and squirmed, but I held onto her tightly. She pushed my hands away with a joyful “Lucifer!” and I stopped with a huff. We crouched before the oven again, or rather, I crouched as I was carrying her, and we stared at the oven some more.

She asked in my ear if the whole cake was hers, and I bumped her nose with my knuckles. “Nope! It’s all mine. You’re not having any of it.” She pouted and gave me the longest whine, her puppy dog eyes twisting my arm figuratively. She’d be the death of me.

“Alright! But ask your Mom first, I’m not going to get in trouble just because you asked for it.” She cheered quietly, a smug grin on her face, and I couldn’t bring myself to be upset for it. She deserved whatever I could provide and more, just for her steadfast trusting love for the Devil. I put her down so she could go onto the other side of the counter and have a seat, but she clung onto me like a koala, and I gave in to her silent request. Holding onto her wasn’t hardship anyway.

The Detective woke up moments later. I got the urchin to go get ready for school, and the Detective gave me a sweet, and very appreciated kiss. I grinned into her lips, feeling her joy emitting like a bulb in a dark room. She had been my Queen on that night, and she took to it so naturally. She took advantage of my powers, but it’s her questioning eyes forever holding that damning conviction that I had the choice to refuse if I didn’t want to do anything that made me so confident in her affections. She has never let me down before, and I doubt she would anytime in the future. Even if she did, there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t forgive. Look what she did for me, I can handle whatever she threw at me. Even if it was a betrayal, even if she hurts me.

I glazed the cake with some chocolate sauce, slicing it and packing one into a container, together with some stir-fry I quickly put together and laid them nicely on the counter. The urchin could grab them on the way out and pack it in her tiny little bag. I cleaned everything up and went back to my bedroom to straightened myself up, and as I stepped into the room, I saw the Detective coming out of the bathroom, refreshed from a shower and with only a towel around her. I gulped at the side and her casual hair drying stopped me in my tracks. I took her in hungrily, her skin glistening with droplets, and her legs almost over exposed.

She looked up at me, and more than her figure and half-nakedness, her automatic smile mesmerized me. Who even glances at _me_ and smiles? It was a miracle, _she’s_ my miracle.

“Hey…” she approached me and touched my arm. I shivered at her touch, feeling her warmth through my bond mark. Dad, she was _perfect_. Her eyes filled with the love I keep seeing recently, and I leaned in towards her, hoping she would give me what I needed, no, _wanted._ She smiled that soft smile I’ve seen her direct to the little urchin and wondered what I’ve done to ever deserve this as I got my wish. I lingered, as I always do when we had any form of body contact, and I kissed her on the forehead before stepping back.

“I’ll be ready in fifteen minutes,” I leaned in towards her and caught myself before I got lost in her kisses again, “then we’ll take the urchin to her jail, and then we can…talk?” I stared up at her through my lashes, not sure if she would appreciate me planning our day so blithely. She only smiled at me, again in that soft and tender way, then pushed my dazed form into the bathroom to get ready.

I thought about the past few days as I relaxed under the stream of pressured spray, closing my eyes as I focused. My army was definitely a lot stronger than all of heaven’s, and now that the Detective could command it, I wouldn’t have to worry about her safety as much. The demons have all accepted the little human as my spawn and heir, and she would be closely protected as well. What remains…was to remove the threat. Amenediel is hell bent (no pun intended) on turning me against the Detective, or making me leave. It was time to confront my past, or I might drag my favourite Deckers down with me. I couldn’t let that happen.

I needed answers: for our bond, my free will, for their treatment of me, even why they hated me… these are questions I’ve had for what felt like an eternity, and I felt that I was close to finding out for once. I would have to get Amenediel’s attention, get some information from him. Maze would be a big help with that. The Detective would want to be present, but the little urchin would need to be kept safe. Leaving her with Daniel was out of the question…would leaving her with Dromos be a problem? Sure, he was a demon…but the urchin _outranks_ him and he knew it. We could trust him. Maybe Linda could help?

I felt a tug in my mind, and recognizing the source, I removed the block.

_Quickly shower and get out, darling. You’re getting nowhere in there, and Trixie’s gonna be late. We’ll talk later._

Right, urchin, urchin jail, then talk. I exited the shower and got myself ready for the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try and upload again within a month! But no promises! But rest assured that I will finish this baby:)


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